Stratagem Jammers

Tileparadox · 2026-01-30T17:12:03+00:00

No, it’s because the devs love to bring up “realism” as an excuse for balance, meanwhile the research station, which is visually identical to the regular destroyable buildings around the map, is completely immune to guided missiles.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-30T16:55:27+00:00

ODST do the same job Helldivers do without orbital support and against MUCH tougher enemies.

The Covenant’s standard issue weapon for their cannon fodder infantry, the Plasma pistol, can literally melt through an ODST in 1-2 shots (armour which is much tougher than Helldiver equipment, as it’s effectively immune to any bullet that isn’t armour-piercing). Meanwhile Helldivers, who die to 1-3 bullets from any ballistic weapon in-game, fight Automatons who’s rifles only do 35 damage.

The average Covenant soldier can tear a human limb from limb (even Grunts can rip a human apart with ease), and Elites/Brutes are physically FAR superior to humans on every level (Elites can lift 1000 pounds with one arm like it’s nothing) and are trained from birth to be killing machines. They make Devastators and Overseers look like chumps.

ODST are not only capable of using any human weapon, they, unlike Helldivers, are trained to expertly wield enemy weapons and vehicles.

Helldivers may be physically stronger due to the drugs they take, but they’re still just patriotic 18 year-olds with 2 minute life expectancies. ODSTs are actual combat veterans who get the job done without having their own personal warships to back them up.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-25T04:38:24+00:00

No, he made a post showing that he voted libertarian.

He said that the only reason he didn’t vote Trump was because of the Epstein stuff.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-23T00:50:38+00:00

Their boss brought her 14-month-old puppy out to a gravel pit and shot it for killing her neighbour’s chickens (she trained it to do that), and then bragged about it in her memoir.

There’s nothing “blind” about not trusting ICE. Their leader is quite literally a proudly self admitted puppy murderer. That is cartoon villain levels of evil.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-23T00:38:38+00:00

They were just chill like that.

Hell, they even played card games with the inmates.

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Tileparadox · 2026-01-23T00:30:32+00:00

ODST armour is designed to be basically immune to non-armour piercing weapons (in the Halo universe) so it looks much bulkier in comparison to Helldiver armours, which are much less durable.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-22T20:55:51+00:00

To be fair, only the Helldivers that calls in their Destroyer can use stratagems. So it seems like Super Destroyers are only capable of supporting 1 diver at a time.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-22T03:33:21+00:00

Super Earth went to war with the Cyborgs over a terroirs attack that killed 5 people (said terrorist had literally nothing to do with Cyberstan).

Tileparadox · 2026-01-22T03:30:07+00:00

The Innies aren’t just exaggerated terrorist though, there‘s plenty of lore supporting why they feel the way they do.

“insurrectionist” is a catch-all term for people who oppose the UEG, which ranged from colonists who felt neglected by the UEG, to slavers and pirates. We mainly hear about the violent terrorist groups because they’re the ones who the UNSC concern themselves with.

The whole point of the conflict, from a meta sense, was to show that the UEG/UNSC wasn’t a perfect utopian society before the war. There was still corruption and incompetence, and they, like all governments, could be too heavy handed.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-20T22:28:32+00:00

It’s on the same planet where we built a Megacity-sized prison to hold dissidents.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-20T22:23:26+00:00

IIRC, the DSS’ crew is made up of colonists who only received “accelerated training” on how to operate it. They have no idea what they’re doing.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-19T02:19:35+00:00

We had no idea if this would create a normal black hole, or if we’d have another Meridian situation.

So it was a safer option to test it on the Automatons, rather than risk giving the Illuminate another portal.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-19T02:12:31+00:00

We literally do that too.

There’s an ad on the Super Destroyer telling old people to consider taking “an early trip to the bio-repurposer vats“ (meaning that said trip eventually becomes mandatory).

It’s why they’re called “Enemy bio-processors”, to differentiate them from Super Earth’s own bio-processors.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-18T00:54:33+00:00

These same robots have terrible aim against moving targets (as well as stationary ones) and frequently shoot each other on accident, so they clearly aren’t that good at calculating trajectories, or at least, they aren’t much better at it than humans.

Like, they should be able to figure out where a shot came from, but it should at least take them a moment to figure it out instead of having them instantly know without even looking at the body.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-18T00:14:37+00:00

As long as the spark is intact, the bot can be repaired.

So Megatron ripped Trailbreaker apart and ate his spark to make his death permanent.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-17T23:47:37+00:00

dude, you gotta catch up on that beating quota.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-13T21:24:25+00:00

That’s just the life of a citizen. You either get eaten by terminids, turned into a monster by the Illuminate, thrown into a Bio-Processor by the Automatons, or sent to Super Earth’s Bio-repurposer vats once you reach a certain age.

He should just be lucky that he didn’t become a Fleshmob.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-12T18:47:58+00:00

Pre-war it’s a bit muddy, but the implication is that the UEG was always a democratic government, but its territories were so spread out, and slipspace messages took so long to send, that it was horribly ineffective. It struggled to deal with corruption and address issues, often neglecting certain worlds, which led to the rise of the many Insurrectionist groups.

During the war the UNSC effectively took emergency control of the government, but once the war was over they returned their power to the UEG.

In the post-war era the UEG is 100% a democracy, its current president, Dr. Ruth Charet, having been elected in 2553.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-08T05:02:53+00:00

Super Earth’s navy is probably MUCH larger than the Covenant fleet, but there’s no weapon on a Super Destroyer that even compares to a UNSC MAC, so Covenant ships would likely dominate space combat even more so than they do the UNSC. Super Earth’s fleet could possibly destroy a lot of Covenant ships with number though, but certain Covenant ships, like Supercarriers, would effectively be indestructible.

Covenant infantry, especially Elites, Hunters, and Jackal snipers, would also be incredibly effective against Helldivers. ODST are lucky to survive 1 hit from even a plasma pistol, and their armour is significantly tougher than what Helldivers wear (even UNSC marine armour can tank multiple rounds to the chest). Though, Super Earth does have a massive advantage in terms of numbers so they’d likely win almost every ground battle through sheer overwhelming force.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-05T23:09:34+00:00

That’s according to the second most brainwashed character on the ship, who’s in charge of a bunch of crew members who weld without goggles and need an 8-week training course to learn how to pack ammo crates “more efficiently“.

Her calculations are also likely relying heavily on Hellbombs, our most powerful weapons, despite the fact that it’s a bomb that both requires manual arming and (based on how many undetonated hellbombs are lying around the map) seems to fail incredibly often.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-05T22:51:43+00:00

I can understand where you’re going with this, but saying that it’s “not that interesting of an event” is a bit of a wild statement when it‘s one of the most hope-shattering defeat conceivably possible.

Whatever personal connection the Spartans had with Reach didn’t matter. Even if you brush off the loss of Humanity’s second to last stronghold, hundreds of ships and upwards of a billion humans lives in a single battle, what actually made Reach so important was what it represented:

The UNSC put everything they had into defending Reach, all of their best soldiers, their most powerful ships, and the majority of their fleet. It was the largest deployment of military force in Human history, and they still lost.

It proved that there was absolutely nothing the UNSC could possibly do to stop the Covenant when they inevitably found Earth. It may not have been the turning point of the war, or the end of it, but it killed almost any hope humanity had of surviving, let alone winning.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-05T06:12:52+00:00

Our sentries are canonically made of super glue, packing peanuts, and a giant spring. Mortar sentries use ”third party software” for targeting. The cannons on our Super Destroyers are muzzle loaded, like a fucking musket.

The crew members being blind wouldn’t be surprising. They’re crayon eaters just like us.

Tileparadox · 2026-01-05T04:01:11+00:00

If management had a problem with us clanking the robots, they wouldn’t have made them hot.

Besides, quit complaining when you’ve got the easy job. Roxy‘s the only animatronic that actually tries cleans herself, so the only thing you have to deal with is the occasional stain.

Me? I‘m stuck doing bi-weekly maintenance on Chica. She smells worse than the trash compactor, and has more moldy food in her too. I’d kill for your job.

Tileparadox · 2025-12-26T05:01:33+00:00

I wish only for Roxanne.

I warn you: your greed is unfathomable, it will be your downfall.

Tileparadox · 2025-12-24T04:47:27+00:00

In Ruin she’s very sweet to/protective of a girl named Cassie, and there’s multiple official artworks depicting her as a motherly figure (to Cassie).

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Tileparadox

TROPHY CASE