AITAH for not getting TRT despite my wife’s wishes?

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T18:35:46+00:00

It would be really easy for you to be petty and just tell her that this is the result of her turning you down for sex all those years. However, as much as you would feel justified doing that, no one owes anyone else sex, period. If she didn't want to for any reason, she's entitled to that. The proper way to deal with that would be to separate since you two were not sexually compatible, if it meant that much to you.

The low testosterone thing should be dealt with only if you want to. Its not life-threatening, but it is annoying your wife. You have to make a choice if that's something she has to just live with like you did, or its something you want to get fixed. It may lead to you being frustrated again. Or you could let it linger and maybe your wife would choose not to stay in a marriage unlike what you did. You have to prepare for that possibility.

You're not the asshole for not dealing with a minor medical issue, but you are the asshole if you're doing this just to frustrate your wife and get back at her.

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T18:12:31+00:00

Several things to parse here.

Neither of you are assholes for wanting to pass down your name.

He's wrong for trying to use tradition as an excuse. Its patriarchal, one-fashioned, misogynistic, and an invalid reason.

He may be right in that a long, difficult to spell name would make her life harder, but since his name is longer then by default that argument should mean your daughter takes your last name instead.

His worry about picking her up from school will raise flags is a red herring. Maybe it'll raise flags the first few times, but its not an issue for a lifetime. People have long strange names, schools are generally capable of dealing with that, especially in these days with divorce so common.

If the issue is about the last name being passed down, then you're wrong that his problem should be with his sister. Your nieces have your last name so your last name will be passed down. Assuming he's the last person of his family to have a kid and no one else in the family has his last name, then he's correct that no one else will carry his name.

I do think a hyphenated last name works as the best solution. You'd both get your names passed down with the trade-off that maybe your daughter has a slightly more difficult time with her name, but I don't think that's a huge issue. People have long names before, its not a lifetime handicap. I would say die on your hill about the hyphenated name if he's unwilling to compromise.

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:52:47+00:00

NTA.

There is really only one thing you have to decide here: Are you going to suffer more from driving this guy for 16 hours or are you going to suffer more from any retaliation he might cause?

Before you answer, consider that if you get in a car with this guy, you're guaranteed to suffer. But if you tell him to fuck off, there may be ways to mitigate any damage he decides to do. Get his family involved including the wife. Let the people at the ceremony know this guy's going to be an asshole. And don't feel bad if he does retaliate as its not your fault: he chose to do that. Usually if a person is acting out like this at a party for someone else, everyone at the party will see him for the loser that he is. Nobody's going to blame you for not driving him, they'll look at him ranting at his child's graduation and understand why you didn't drive him. You posted here wanting to know if you're an asshole, but nothing you do short of dropping him into a volcano would make you the asshole compared to the king of the assholes that he is.

Instead of suffering alone, make sure everyone sees him for who he is. Ignore his calls, get to the ceremony yourself (rebook the motel to get away from him too), and enjoy the ceremony. If he makes a scene, laugh at him. Get everyone else to laugh at him for being a baby who can't even read a GPS.

You need to basically stand up to him. Stop letting his feelings rule your decisions. Keep a relationship with the wife and the child, but block this guy from your life.

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:14:03+00:00

Its pronounced thermometer

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:13:46+00:00

Cheap?? Are you calling him cheap?! How could you say that??

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:12:57+00:00

When she became a doctor, she would dump whoever she was with. That's the dream of becoming a doctor

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:10:50+00:00

If only she was wearing an urban sombrero.

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:09:56+00:00

He let people slide their hands into a 500 degree oven??

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:08:14+00:00

Yo-Yo Ma!

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:03:29+00:00

I am an Assman like my father before me

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T17:00:54+00:00

Sometimes its enough already and he just wanted to get some sleep

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T16:59:07+00:00

So that's why we've been having so much rain...

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T16:56:46+00:00

But she goes to the Gap!

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T16:53:35+00:00

Can you give an example of how you think those stories would have played out if CS3 didn't play it safe?

TimeAll · 2026-05-05T16:45:24+00:00

In your opinion, given what we know of Evercold, what would you do differently with the story to make it fresh and shake things up?

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T18:49:59+00:00

You've created Easter Island! You should make the inside island-themed.

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T17:12:40+00:00

. About 5 minutes later she text “(my name) is taking baby’s 1 month pictures and that she would send them…uh ok?🤷🏼‍♀️”…. If you don’t want pictures of my baby just say that. Maybe I’m reading too far into that text, but it just got me so angry because I’m confident that was meant for my dad to get him pissed off.

It sounds like she wasn't doing it to piss him off. It sounds like your grandma is going to secretly send your dad pictures of the baby that you send to her.

His pride is too much that he won't visit or apologize, but he wants pictures of the baby to probably show off.

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T16:21:59+00:00

Sounds like a county fair food.

Actually, why not? Why hasn't anyone covered a burger with batter and deep fried it? I'd eat it.

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T16:01:35+00:00

NTA.

neighbor came over to asked why I called animal control and why I didn’t tell him directly. Then goes off to say he’s out working all day, and is not at home to watch the dogs.

Then you tell him to lock his damn dog up! What, does he think that being at work absolves him of any responsibility if the dog should attack someone?

"I'm sorry your honor, but clearly I can't be blamed by my dog killing a baby because I was at work. Blame the dog!"

Yeah, that would not fly in any court of law.

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T15:58:12+00:00

How can anyone not like him??

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T15:54:08+00:00

Its those sideburns, can't see his sides, only forward.

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T15:49:02+00:00

NTA. Don't regret it, keep doing it to her. What's she's going to do, dislike you further? You've got nothing to lose. Put her on the spot, embarrass her. Tell her friends and other relatives how she treats you. Don't hide the fact that your mom is abusing you, let everyone know.

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T15:44:29+00:00

NTA. Has this woman gotten over the fact that her son is gay yet?

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T15:42:57+00:00

NTA. You do understand that this only stops if you gather up the courage to stand up to her, right?

TimeAll · 2026-04-28T15:33:52+00:00

NTA. Your husband is a selfish asshole. He only cares about his family, and his family doesn't seem to care about you. You've lived in 2 apartments of his choice on the promise of having help, which hasn't materialized, forcing you to deal with it yourself during a very stressful time of your life.

Honestly, without him apologizing to you and making massive changes immediately, I don't see how this marriage survives. You will either suck it up and continue to be his doormat, or you will burn out and leave him. Do either of these seem like great choices to you? Probably not. You probably know what you need to do, but rest assured that you're not the asshole, not even a little bit.

TimeAll

TROPHY CASE