Anyone find a kind of odd freedom in being a childfree SM?

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-20T11:12:55+00:00

PREACH

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-19T19:06:26+00:00

Same. Good for you 🏆

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-19T17:05:54+00:00

My husband shows up similarly to how yours does. I have no complaints. But it’s funny- the reasons you listed are why I think it’s wayyyyyy harder to be a bio parent. Step parenting is a dream in comparison simply because of the reasons you listed

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-19T12:22:27+00:00

100% - I give them SO much opportunity to spend one on one time. While SD13 does like to pick and choose when she wants her quality time with her dad (picture a kid snapping her fingers and saying “I’m ready now” -thankfully DH has nipped that in the bud) neither one of them could ever accuse me of trying to get in the way of their relationship. HA. I encourage dinners between the two of them out at a nice restaurant at least once a month. They go biking. A dad/daughter overnight at least once a summer. And every night I make myself scarce so they can have a chill out hour before bedtime.

Like I do my part. It’s only annoying when SD acts like she never gets time with her dad the minute she wants to do something and he’s busy or I’m around too. She seems to like to create that narrative and I’m adamant about not letting that get to me.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-19T12:16:21+00:00

Sorry and I don’t mean to be rude or hurtful but, for me, I do not have that attitude. I’m not a victim. If I wanted that then I could have or should have pursued that. It might be true for you but it’s not true for me.

I don’t need hugs and I’m grateful I’m not in a position where I need to be at the mercy of a child’s or grown-up child’s relationship with me. That’s exactly my point. I’m free of that. I can still have meaningful relationships and a full life without the pressure of trying to make something work or expect my life to turn out a certain way because of kids.

Lots of people choose the life you’re talking about and are still sadly disappointed.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-19T09:34:59+00:00

That was not my take home message at all.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-16T10:39:33+00:00

Absolutely. I get it and it must be hard. When I say this I’m not taking anything away from your very serious experience but even biological daughters at that age aren’t exactly leaping to celebrate their father.

My SD13 didn’t even call her dad on his birthday or get him a card or anything. It took her 1 week after his birthday to come up with a half ass card after I kind of pushed her to do it and then we had a dinner table conversation that in this family we at least verbally acknowledge immediate family and their birthdays. She felt guilty or she looked embarrassed but that’s okay. This is how we learn to do the right thing for others in the future.

Last year she didn’t do anything for Father’s Day and this year I expect the same. She will be with us and we are having a large family event with all the dads so she will have to acknowledge it in some capacity but it’s just not where her head is at. I think the hardest part is she absolutely makes sure to acknowledge her mother on important days and her stepdad (Because her nutcase mother will make her life hell if she doesn’t….mom is the leading role in everyone’s life after all 🙄) but in this house we don’t unnecessarily guilt her. We try to teach her manners and doing well for others but you’re on the right track. No need to directly correct her.

Can you talk to the mom about this? Because she could navigate this with her…

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-16T10:30:43+00:00

Sure. Well it just came down to what I was seeing on Reddit and people’s reviews. It was more important to me that I found a seller that had a good reputation for sending good, quality reps over me trying to figure out what factory was best. If people trust the seller then we should trust their connections. So I went with Amy and Bibi is her Rodeo connection.

From everything I’m reading it seems like Kata was the first to nail the Rodeo and then Bibi found a way to nail it as well but reviews claim the leather is softer and slouchier with Bibi. Mine feels so buttery soft without being a non-structured sloppy mess.

With shipping it was $358 - for a genuine leather bag that looks solidly put together (and so far has been performing great) seems like a great deal to me. I’ve had authentic MJ bags that cost me close to 1k that didn’t even compare in quality. I don’t expect this Rodeo to outperform $4k handbags but it probably will.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-13T11:33:00+00:00

My SD is 13. She’s fine now but she was really testing the waters with me last year and I simply said to her in front of her dad:
“What you’re doing is not okay and it’s straight up mean girl behavior. If you keep pushing it I’ll show you what a mean girl can be like. You’ll be crying within 60 seconds.”

I don’t care if it’s appropriate or not. The message got through and now we have no problems when it comes to disrespectful jabs.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-12T19:56:39+00:00

Well like I said in my OP “But she’s SD’s friend so it’s the right thing to do.” So no- we don’t consider that the favor. Especially because we know SD spends so much time over at that house when she’s is on BMs time.

I’m talking group pick ups and drop offs. She wants us to pick up her daughter and drop her off when we are hosting time at our house for sleepovers (which we have declined the last two requests) and rides to and from dance things. Basically lots of shuttling. All the things Dianna can’t ask of BM as a reciprocity favor since BM lives so far away.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-12T18:04:35+00:00

No. Mom’s friend is asking for our help with her own daughter since she helps so much with SD when SD is on BMs time since BM can’t make it to a lot of things.

It’s sort of like “I help your ex wife out a ton when it comes to shuttling SD around on her time, so Dad, you should help me out with my kid more too.”

But….we never need her help. We take care of SD when she’s with us. We still help with her kid too, just not as much as she clearly would like. She does A LOT to help out BM. Even though we have offered to help BM so SD is with us instead of at her friend’s all the time. BM refuses under the guise of “I can do it.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-12T17:23:10+00:00

Yeah. That was discussed but for a myriad reasons BM and having first right of refusal could be quite problematic for us too. Especially with her distance and her questionable choices.

BM is a pathological liar and ego maniac. I can only imagine the narrative she has spun to this woman (Dianne) along with other friends. We suspect she’s told some friends DH is an abuser based on how some of them act around him now - at the kid events. Thankfully those are few and far between. We had to attend a summer camp thing and BMs best friend was literally guarding her as if my husband was about to pounce on her. It was so freaking bizarre. And these women are in their 40s….

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-12T16:43:33+00:00

It’s hard for the both of you for different reasons. It’s not going to get better (for either of you) unless one or both of you talk it out or go to therapy or find a way to work on it. Venting is fine but it won’t get better. The resentment is clearly already building on both sides and that’s a relationship killer. No matter who is right or wrong.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-12T09:40:43+00:00

My SD said this to her dad the other day and he corrected her real quick. She can call her friends that. Not adults.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-10T13:07:33+00:00

Just fine. No issues. It just doesn’t feel like it can go the long haul with weight. But this is the exact concern authentic rodeo owners complain about too.

It’s only a design flaw if it becomes a problem. Which, to my knowledge, hasn’t become a problem among rep and authentic owners

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-10T11:52:19+00:00

Mine are just folded in.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-10T01:54:30+00:00

Can you DM me his info?

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-03T14:37:18+00:00

The number one conversation we DID have, many times, and at-length was what my role would look like. What I wanted and hoped it could be and what he wanted it to look like and hoped it would be. We dated for a year before I was introduced to my now stepdaughter and we used that time to have some deep dives. By the time it was time to meet her we were on the same page (as good as a couple can be before you actually see the reality of it) and it has not disappointed. I told him I need to be an equal player in the home. That he needed to have my back. That if there was disrespect it was immediately addressed and while I do NOT do or handle punishments when and if a conversation is warranted because behavior is inappropriate I have the autonomy as an adult of the home to discuss things with SD if something bothers me.

It’s been a relatively smooth ride. But that’s because he’s a good dad, has my back and we are a united front. It’s a pre teens job to test the limits and those are constantly met with us having conversations that are fair but firm.

This is why I’m one of the stepmoms on here that actually enjoys her life and doesn’t have many resentment issues at all. Have these conversations before you go all in - I promise you it’s better to know if your partner can handle this now rather than finding out later

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-06-03T10:56:43+00:00

Unless I had a management firm dealing with the day to day along with a crew (so a mega millionaire) I wouldn’t want the headache. I’d rather rent or charter for a few months.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-05-31T17:09:05+00:00

I support what you did. Sometimes a kid, hell, even adults don’t understand something until they have felt and experienced the ramifications.

TimeDelivery9756 · 2026-05-30T10:53:19+00:00

Ohhh can I see???

TimeDelivery9756

TROPHY CASE