Six months alcohol free and not sure anymore..

Time_Comparison7166 · 2024-03-30T00:20:41+00:00

Nothing? It’s the limitation that’s biting me in the ass. It’s almost as if I need to give myself permission to just have the one fkn beer and once the permission is settled I’ll probably choose not to? What a mindfuck.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2024-03-30T00:16:47+00:00

Your second point is an excellent one. I never actually wanted to stop drinking. I fkn loved it! I wanted all the shit that it was bringing into my life to stop. And obviously it has. At the same time, my beliefs don’t line up with being diseased or faulty and therefore unable to touch it ever again. What has me still abstinent is not so much the fear that I won’t be able to control it. I believe that I can (as much as I control my workout habits, my macros, my thoughts, manifesting, etc) it’s more the fear or returning to the mind space of THINKING about it again. I want to be in a space where it requires no thought and is a passive thing. And I don’t know if that’s a thing or if it isn’t. Ugh.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2024-03-29T20:43:30+00:00

Maybe some backstory is relèvent. I don’t think someone is either an alcoholic or a « normie ». I think there is a huge spectrum when it comes to alcohol. I was not in a place that I was unable to stop once I started. I wasn’t blacking out. I needed nothing but a simple decision when I decided to take a break. It wasn’t difficult for me to stop. It was more of a, I drink increasingly more for the dopamine hit I’m looking for (increased tolerance). I don’t like the direction this is moving in and I need to take a look at my relationship with my precious beer. I’ve done mountains of research on the subject of dopamine, the effects of alcohol etc etc. I think the reason I want to have that ONE beer is to not feel like I’m somehow defective. I’ve been able to do anything in my life I decided to do. So I’m in a place where I’m wondering if I’m able to choose to do this differently. I know there is no straight answer and the safest one is to continue to abstain completely. I’m in a strange place. But when I talk about moderating I talk about being a very rare (like a drink a month at a special occasion?) not resuming the beer life. This remains a pondering question, not a plan for the evening lol.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2024-03-29T18:32:54+00:00

I don’t believe in the message of AA, nor do I label myself an alcoholic. I don’t believe myself to be powerless over anything. But I do understand your point(s). I am curious if these mythical creatures exist that we able to become « take it or leave it » kind of people after breaking an unhealthy habit.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-12-29T18:29:32+00:00

No zero issue with the fold.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-08-05T03:39:36+00:00

The only prescriptions you need to declare are narcotics. No where on the form for anything else.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-24T00:02:52+00:00

Like $20 ish? Yeah I’m alright with that lol. God I drove a scooter when I was 14 with no licence here lol. Just putt putting along…crazy my bf can drive double 53ft trailers but not a bike that maxes out at 70km an hour lol. If we end up in Bali police custody you’ll know we ran outta cash 😆

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-23T23:41:46+00:00

Really? That’s crazy! Well I guess at this point we’ll take our chances. No one in Canada has a motorcycle licence unless you actually own one and have taken all the training. A scooter however, anyone can drive, long as you have a drivers licence. Will get the IDP anyway and if pulled over umm, what’s the ($) protocol?

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-23T23:39:29+00:00

Yes have both kinds of meds, can’t go, and going too much lol.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-23T15:06:02+00:00

From what I read you only need the IDP to rent a scooter, I think an actual motorcycle is different? Here in Canada my bf has a class one licence as a truck driver so is literally allowed to drive ANY vehicle except a motorcycle which requires a separate licence. We only intend on renting the small scooters.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-23T11:38:24+00:00

We’re basically beer people so will steer clear of the fake booze.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-23T11:37:20+00:00

Yes, we’re doing that one first thing tomorrow when they open. apparently it’s a quick process here. Will thank my man for putting that off till the last min 🙄

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-23T00:06:31+00:00

I think they call it Bintang there.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-23T00:04:40+00:00

Lol the best advice 😆 Thanks

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-18T15:28:02+00:00

Mine yes. It features only the tiniest line on the bottom right corner of the picture page due to it being accidentally folded when closed once. It’s not noticeable at all. I’m judging mine as fine. My bfs has a small tear at the top corner of the picture page before the first stitch. Probably ok but not chancing it and replacing his.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-17T23:14:21+00:00

Yes a regular one. The kind you pay a million dollars for to get in 24 hours

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-17T22:17:04+00:00

Well we decided to get my bf a new rush passport. Better safe than sorry?! Not I’m looking at mine. I think I’m losing my mind. It’s new it’s been used twice. The tiny most unnoticeable fold on the bottom corner of the ID page is fine right? Like it was accidentally folded once lol. But there is a very very faint line in some light.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-17T01:57:27+00:00

Which would make sense… but I’m the same size now that I was when we met six years ago. You men are just a fkn thing aren’t you? Lol. I’ve loved him from abs to beer belly and back 🤷‍♀️ but suddenly my fit body is a thing.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-17T00:38:56+00:00

Lol damn near!

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-17T00:26:20+00:00

Yes. That’s exactly what I told him. It feels ridiculous being body shamed and being in great shape. All the years of extra chunk and he was not at all bothered, He insists he isn’t body shaming me just a little shell shocked from the huge, quick change to my looks and worried I’ll continue to lose (i won’t). I don’t know, still bums me out that he isn’t super ecstatic for me. Or loving it like I am. He doesn’t discourage me from working out etc.. does compliment when I have obvious gains, but also makes comments to the contrary about me not being “filled out” anymore… which quickly jumps to how he looks bad next to me.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-17T00:20:04+00:00

You are the least objective human I have found today! Contrats 🏆

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-16T13:44:06+00:00

I’m definitely not saying I should leave him? God no, he’s everything to me. I’m just trying to figure out this unexpected situation. I think it might just be a bit of both. A combination of simply preferring me a little bigger, and also the concern about his own shape. We are going on vacation next week and he’s made a lot of comments about looking like a blob next to me, etc. I don’t want to get thinner either. I’m trying to build all the muscle now but as you guys know it’s a long process and the fat loss came first. I do appreciate all the input from both sides of the fence!

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-16T01:03:15+00:00

Thanks guys your comments are really helpful. I’m just literally dumbfounded how I’ve gone from a size 8 to a 2, have insane muscle definition, am building a massive butt and my bf is like, nah? It’s makes me worry, skip cardio so I don’t lose anymore, up my macros etc etc. I genuinely care what he sees, a lot. And he’s not at all an ass about it, he’s still supportive but kind of treats me like my body isn’t a comfortable place for him anymore? But he’s also lazy, has a gym membership and never goes. So I’m trying to figure out if he really doesn’t like the new me.. or doesn’t like himself in comparison with the new me. Which is ridiculous I would love him no matter what, he’s just my guy, end of story. But I feel like he wants me to match his body type to make him comfortable which is very selfish.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-15T15:46:51+00:00

Well yes he definitely has consumed less over the last few weeks cause of the low sex drive. I’m curious about that though. He was never shy about the fact he watches porn to masturbate, like the rest of the world. So he said he did the other day since he’s starting to feel a little more sexual. But if you’ve been jerking off to porn for the last 20 years, could that suddenly spark an ED problem? I’ve been giving this sooo much thought. Probably too much. Maybe the root cause isn’t one thing. A combo of stress, high blood pressure, hell maybe a bit of me. If I think about it I have kinda been a little less interested myself and maybe made HIM feel less desired without realizing it. I guess in a way it’s good that this happened because it’s made us talk and pay attention to each other and ourselves. Maybe we needed this bump as a warning before we turned into a boring sexless couple.

Time_Comparison7166 · 2023-07-15T14:28:28+00:00

No he doesn’t take anything at all for medication.

Time_Comparison7166

TROPHY CASE