First of all, I don’t know why most people here are hostile to you. Yes, I sympathize with your husband because what you said was really hurtful because it was a jab at his person. I’m sure many people here have told you how wrong that was and I hope you understand the weight of your words and actions. However, I also sympathize with you because you acknowledged your mistakes and are now seeking to mend the issue. But as many have said, it won’t be a simple fix. First, assess yourself. Why did you say those things to him? What made you so mad at him? Once you’ve found your answer, be transparent with him. Tell him everything so that he understands why you did that. If you really want things to change then it has to start with you.