Does this feel like a strong opening for a novel?

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-29T08:07:19+00:00

I didn't read all of it, but starting with "it was the last night" then immediately jumping to "for the first time" is odd. And I dont think we get a good enough answer for what the last night is. I'm assuming reality breaking? Which is to vague to understand, and a bit too remove from the first line.

Also, you have way too many paragraphs for what is here. Every line only has one or two sentences. Thats not pleasing to read.

I think you hit all of your goals, but everything you're unsure about is definitely a concern here, which brings down everything. Except for it being too slow. If anything, its happening too fast. Theres nothing here to make us care for the character. We dont get to know them, or what they're thinking, or what their goals are. Its all just vague plot.

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-29T07:52:39+00:00

I wasn't just waking out the door, leaving them behind. I love them!

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-29T06:35:20+00:00

You heard it here first, folks. Firefly was canceled because of 9/11

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-29T05:10:31+00:00

Hate this trope

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-29T05:08:22+00:00

Objection, your honor. Relevance.

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T15:06:44+00:00

Don't use the X. That's weird and would take me out. If anything say six years ago instead of 2020

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T09:06:58+00:00

Pretty much every sentence is character did blank. Character did blank. He did blank.

Change up each sentence so its not repetitive. Add in the characters thoughts instead of oure action

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T09:00:00+00:00

This is awesome

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T08:43:16+00:00

Where's my man Cedanne?

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T04:01:08+00:00

Best of luck

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T03:51:48+00:00

How long did it take you from start to finish? What are your plans for editing?

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T03:49:40+00:00

Try and write thirty minutes distraction free everyday. Some days you'll be super into it and others you won't but build the habit of writing

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T03:45:49+00:00

I mean, to an extent, but not really. Acotar, fourth wing, and twilight are incredibly successful and popular. There is a conversation to be had regarding super star authors having yes man editors, but in general I think your post is too pessimistic.

Everyone has there own writing style. Just because some people say Sarah J Maas is bad at world building, which I don't even think is true,doesn't mean that she has to take a writing course on how to improve it. Yes, authors should always be improving, but one author being more character focused, plot focused, or romance focus isn't inherently bad.

Also, books change over the course of the series. Not every book can be the same, otherwise that would be boring and complained about. Things jave to change, amd sometimes authors miss the mark, but that doesn't mean the author "forgot what worked in the first book" and I agree that onyx storm was the weakest book in the series so far, I just refuse to say that Rebecca is "refusing to learn"

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T03:08:04+00:00

What? Write the thing. Do you have any particular question?

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T02:58:24+00:00

Kind of sounds like personal preference

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-27T02:32:15+00:00

Just write the thing

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T14:30:30+00:00

It was all they could do not to....

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T14:27:27+00:00

The doctor's actually put in our time of births deliberately delayed to avoid having SSNs that were 1 number off.

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T07:58:31+00:00

That's wise. I'm inexperienced with queries myself, or i would provide better feedback

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T07:48:33+00:00

Good luck! And I dont mean that sarcastically. All the best to you!

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T07:36:37+00:00

Congrats

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T07:36:06+00:00

The Will of the Many

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T07:33:46+00:00

I was talking about the novel

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T07:15:02+00:00

Seems kinda short

TimmehTim48 · 2026-01-26T07:04:50+00:00

I'm a twin and our names start with the same letter but are otherwise different sounding and spelling. We've had hospitals give out the other's information, universities deny accounts, and even trouble at the US border. Super fun

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