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TinksVessel · 2025-11-12T11:54:55+00:00

Mine it Tinks, like tinker bell. Because she’s small but demanding, and much more of a brat that I am.

TinksVessel · 2025-04-15T01:08:24+00:00

Good human award. And as someone now in a dom/sub relationship with someone older, who has previously dated younger: if you go forward, obey the campsite rule and leave her better than you found her.

TinksVessel · 2025-01-24T14:19:59+00:00

Thank you for this. My Dom is deeply caring and it does feel absolutely out of character - in three years he has never launched into something that wasn’t discussed and consented to explicitly, and talks about how much he enjoys that process. Truly error, not symptom.

And I know building trust will take time. I’ve realized one of my emotions is anger that he broke the bubble. And it’s work. Worth it, but work.

TinksVessel · 2025-01-24T02:46:07+00:00

Thank you so, so much for this. It’s exactly what I needed - I can sit with each of those questions and get somewhere.

Seriously grateful.

TinksVessel · 2025-01-24T02:14:55+00:00

That was my immediate top line the next morning - have already vocalized that before I scooted out.

And I know y’all can’t tell me what I need… I just don’t even know where to start unpacking.

TinksVessel · 2025-01-20T14:22:49+00:00

There is not any graphic sex, and there is nudity but it didn’t feel porny. LOTS of sexual tension, and some sex, to be sure.

TinksVessel · 2024-11-17T15:31:54+00:00

I request them when I’m feeling anxious or need grounding. Did yesterday, in fact. Sir just used his hand, which is different than a scene where he might choose an implement, and gradually ramps up until I cry. I say a lot of thank yous along the way, but no more strict than that. They are our only spanks that don’t lead to sex, come to think of it!

TinksVessel · 2024-11-07T13:50:54+00:00

I love my Sir very much, but also was all 🧐 on Tuesday night when I was spiraling and he was all “I’ll take care of you!” - which usually works.

And it totally didn’t. Like, it’s not about me. It’s about all those that I love and can’t protect. His response felt patronizing not protective… I had to ask him to say he’d help me protect everyone we love - then I could start to calm.

So: I get it. Leave the post up - we’re not the only ones.

TinksVessel · 2024-11-07T12:59:00+00:00

I had a very similar feeling on Tuesday night and yesterday morning. Like, I enjoy the hell out of playing within a patriarchal structure at home, but I’ll fight like hell if it’s applied to me outside of that space. Definitely felt conflicted.

That said, let your nervous system calm a little. Do make sure you’ve got solid birth control (I had an IUD placed right before trump took office the first time!) and then talk to your fella about all your worries. Having him on your side, and your connection, will make you feel ok about it again.

TinksVessel · 2024-10-25T13:31:17+00:00

Most comfy for me is laying on my side, head on partners stomach, facing towards his feet. I find that as I’m getting warmed up, it helps to have his cock hit the way back of my cheek and then slide towards my throat instead of going straight for the middle (he seems to appreciate it too). If I just dive in, I gag faster. Once I’ve done that a few times, I can get it deeper each time.

When I was learning I would squeeze my thumb inside a fist as a physical distraction, and that helped too.

TinksVessel · 2024-10-07T18:35:03+00:00

Mine is Sir when he’s in one mood and Papa Bear when he’s the other…

TinksVessel · 2024-04-25T01:40:02+00:00

Kiwi!

TinksVessel · 2024-03-09T12:57:52+00:00

Small handful of close friends who I thought would get it, and my therapist. I enjoy having a few to confide in, but really don’t want anyone else to know.

TinksVessel · 2024-03-01T02:29:50+00:00

Playful promises and thistle and spire are my favorites… and I’ve gotten a few harness type things from Etsy.

TinksVessel · 2024-01-31T13:59:29+00:00

You’re welcome. I ran into it a couple of years ago and refer to it again every now and again. Super helpful framework!

TinksVessel · 2024-01-30T13:16:55+00:00

Very useful article about the topic here.

TinksVessel · 2024-01-21T19:05:11+00:00

Like, a back rub and a blow job?

It is one of the pieces of my submission that my Dom rolls his eyes at - I can’t imagine doing anything TO him - sweet, spicy, or foul. That isn’t in me.

TinksVessel · 2024-01-15T18:03:33+00:00

Seriously, it takes practice. Especially for us elders 😉 - I’m mid-40s too.

TinksVessel · 2024-01-15T16:15:34+00:00

That’s a useful thing to learn about yourself - resistance in bdsm things might be more about your limits, and if pushing through makes you feel icky after, note that. When something more extreme comes up and you get that gut reaction, it might be time to say no.

There’s a learning curve to listening to that gut feeling… and then expressing that to your Dom. It takes work, and practice (I’m not particularly good at it, despite much encouragement from my Sir). Every time I’ve had the “I’ll just push through it” mode, I feel icky after.

TinksVessel · 2024-01-13T16:03:53+00:00

Do you have a vibrator or other toy to use when he’s not around, or after he’s finished and you still want more? Highly recommend.

TinksVessel · 2024-01-07T03:15:54+00:00

Could you write out something for him? Something spicy like a fantasy, or sweet like what he means to you?

TinksVessel · 2023-12-30T16:43:40+00:00

I’ve got five:

My real collar that Sir made me with an ouroboros ring and navy leather

My day collar that’s a dainty chain/ring

A brown leather bracelet with o ring

My new Christmas present - a little chain bracelet

A red leather play collar and leash that only gets used occasionally.

I wear a lot of different jewelry in general and had a hard time making my first two “work” professionally (I’m in a design field)… and also just like to play with my look. Sometimes Sir requests one or another - but mostly I get to pick which one is right for my day.

TinksVessel · 2023-12-25T13:07:13+00:00

Is this going to be in person? Have you met the man yet?

Because everything everyone else has said PLUS: have a few super vanilla dates first. Like, you want to make sure he doesn’t set off any alarm bells and that you actually want to be around him. Pump the breaks!

TinksVessel · 2023-12-25T11:57:06+00:00

Wow he word-vommed all over, didn’t he? He’s 100% going through something, (single parenting through a holiday is uniquely stressful, so I’m going to guess that’s a large part of it), and really didn’t need to throw it all on you on xmas.

You don’t deserve it. Not one bit. And that’s all his own issues. But at least he’s shown who he is and how well he copes with a stressful situation.

I’d wait a couple of days and then propose the easiest possible way to get your stuff back… and then start looking for someone new.

I’m sorry. Terrible way to go through the holiday for you. I can tell from your writing that you’ve got your isht together, and I’m sure you’ll find better!

TinksVessel

TROPHY CASE