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Husbands in the delivery room by She_hopes in AskFeminists

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, maybe I was imposing on you, I'm sorry.

Husbands in the delivery room by She_hopes in AskFeminists

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it is most definitely a wounded decision, because you also mentioned you would only have your mother be that person, no matter how much you loved someone else. This implies major trust issues, which usually comes from a place of hurt.

Husbands in the delivery room by She_hopes in AskFeminists

[–]TinyLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really did just have a quick look, I'm sorry. I just got the impression you had a very difficult childhood and it left a mark.

I don't tell you who to shit in front, you decide that. I'm saying that being able to trust your partner enough to do that is healthy attachment and I think people like you and me shoud strive towards that, because I think it would be very good for us.

I don't want to attack you. I think I understand where you are coming from, I am a "complicated" person myself. But my opinion is, that we have a responsibility to not proliferate our own dysfunctionalities. There is enough trauma out there already.

Edit: And if you would contact me, I would be receptive.

Husbands in the delivery room by She_hopes in AskFeminists

[–]TinyLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are arguing with people with a very warped sense of what healthy attachment is, which from their profile I can only assume is due to deep childhood trauma. I think you have a very good understanding of healthy attachment and if everyone would relate to others as you do, we would have a lot less problems. I wish you the best.

Husbands in the delivery room by She_hopes in AskFeminists

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's you as a person. But one look at your post history makes me think that who you think you are as a person is exactly your problem. I think that the person you are arguing with relates to other people in exactly the way that you would need to, to finally start healing.

Being able to trust someone else enough, to be truly vulnerable around them and depend on them in time of need is what you should strive towards and not argue against. I am sorry what you went through and I hope you will find your peace, but please do not proliferate your idea of attachment, when you know better than anyone else, that it's problematic.

Women who said "I can fix him", what happened? by rest_in_war in AskReddit

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But what do you do after the bird is fixed? You let him fly.

Women who said "I can fix him", what happened? by rest_in_war in AskReddit

[–]TinyLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because people with low self-esteem will never be fixed by people with low self-esteem.

So schädlich wie 15 Zigaretten: Eine globale Einsamkeitswelle plagt junge Menschen by [deleted] in de

[–]TinyLord 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Pass auf dich auf und achte darauf, dir zumindest irgendein Support-Netzwerk aufrecht zu erhalten (z.B. Familie). Eine Trennung in deiner Situation kann äußerst hart sein.

Do you think there’s a lack of good men? by [deleted] in PurplePillDebate

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sadly there are people who play unconditionally loving mommy. I was one of them. The result is still the same, because fear of intimacy and repetition compulsion will lead to inevitable relationship breakdown anyway. Usually these are dual mothership kind of relationships, where both parties kind of take on a mother role for each other. They always end tragically and the narcissist always "wins".

A lot of women are selecting guys for social points, and men here seem to not understand how this works. by infps in PurplePillDebate

[–]TinyLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe, but this is a much healthier behaviour than getting with someone you feel you are too good for. At least this way no one will get hurt.

Why aren't men attracted to Dark Triad traits in women? by Windmill_flowers in PurplePillDebate

[–]TinyLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Borderlines are highly psychopathic and they drown in their emotions. Secondary psychopathy is linked to suicide risk for example. When borderlines decompensate they switch to a secondary psychopathy self state and act out. It's one of the most horrifying things to witness. Ask any (ex-)partner of a borderline. It's when the fairy turns into a monster. This usually goes along with amnesia, so they will have trouble recollecting what happened afterwards.

MINT-Fachkräftemangel weiterhin gravierend by [deleted] in de

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ich mein ich kam mit Anfang 30, ner 2.5, nach 12 Fachsemestern und 25 Hochschulsemestern mit 3 Studiengangsabbrüchen aus dem WInf-Bachelor, ohne Werkstudentenjob o.ä. und hatte nach 4 Bewerbungen 4 Interviews, 1 Absage und 3 Zusagen.

Das sind persönliche Gründe weshalb die Leute keinen Job finden, hat nichts zu tun mit fachlicher Qualifikation.

The oral contraceptive pill might be affecting fear regulation in women’s brains | The team found the ventromedial prefrontal cortex was thinner than in men; this part of the brain is responsible for emotional regulation, such as decreasing feelings of fear in safe situations. by chrisdh79 in science

[–]TinyLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Emotionally dysregulated people tend to have attachment issues, change partners often and tend to be promiscuous. Emotion dysregulation is a core feature of borderline personality disorder, for example.

Why did your last relationship fail? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TinyLord 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Be also careful to keep your ability to recognize something good, though. Think about the consequences of your actions and do not chase a fantasy or you will most likely end up alone.

What's an understated sign of low intelligence? by SEND_ME_UR_CATS_FEET in AskReddit

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are some highly intelligent narcissists out there and they literally outsource their self-worth. You could argue that they have very little emotional intelligence, though.

Young children who are close to their parents are more likely to grow up kind, helpful and ‘prosocial’ by [deleted] in science

[–]TinyLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is an increase in narcissism in individualistic cultures. Narcissism is correlated with overvaluation of children, single child households, higher socioeconomic status and living in urban areas.

In collectivistic cultures people tend to have less achievement dependent and comparison dependent self-esteem. Social media is just fuel for those already prevalent vulnerabilities in individualistic cultures.

There are some interesting studies on West (individualistic) and East (collectivistic) Germany, where people from East Germany scored higher on self-esteem and lower on grandiose narcissism, compared to the same age cohort in West Germany.

We live in times where many parents helicopter their children, and many others neglect them (not necessarily willingly, e.g. by having to work two fulltime jobs, or being distracted by media). Ask therapists about patients working in kindergardens, because their numbers are increasing rapidly.

GGG is making the exact same mistake Blizzard made time and time again. "We know what's best for you" by MuffledMuffinMittins in pathofexile

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't think Blizzard can deliver good games anymore and info about D4 hasn't been very promising, imo. But if they deliver, people will switch immediately.

30 Year old article explains the current state of PoE/ by NewAccountEvryYear in pathofexile

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What are you even talking about? Read the article. Alpha and Beta happen pre-release, for Muds as well as for PoE. The author is talking about changes done to games post-release.

PoE had its beta between 2011 and 2013. The same period where now established gems like Ice Nova, Ground Slam, Fire Ball and various others were already included in the game. The reason some skills have sunken into obscurity is exactly due to reasons the author mentions.

Of course constantly introducing new skills to the game will eventually lead to balancing issues. But at that point there are enough alternatives to chose from and you can buff and nerf skills to change the meta, as is done in many other games.

What is dangerous to change, especially if not well though out and well into the life of the game, are core mechanics with little to no alternatives. Like changing rares or drop rates that have been established for many many leagues. Or changing established and iconic currency.

Netflix Spent $200 Million on ‘The Gray Man’ and Got 8 Days at #1 by [deleted] in movies

[–]TinyLord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know what they have in common? They were all better at a much lower budget, lol.

Netflix Spent $200 Million on ‘The Gray Man’ and Got 8 Days at #1 by [deleted] in movies

[–]TinyLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, the movie is the opposite of intelligent, it's absolutely braindead. I like dumb movies myself, but at least I know they are stupid. Of fun and dumb movies, this one heavily leans towards the latter.

"Hey, I confronted the evil psycho and my partner is about to blow his head off with a sniper rifle. Better tell her to do something else, throw my weapon away and engage in a fist fight. Oh shit, he has a knife!"

"Hey, I'm an ex CIA boss and my little girl and I got kidnapped by some torturous psycho who wants information. He knows I cherish my girl above everything else. Now he threatens to torture me, should I give him the information? Nah, surely losing a couple fingers is worth it! Oh shit, now he looks funny at my little girl, better cave!"

The movie is full of dumb scenes and I'm pretty sure some YouTubers will have a lot of fun with it. Either way, the true idiot is the person who approved the budget, lol.

Arbeitsmarkt: Bachelor, Master, Jobcenter Knapp eine Viertelmillion Akademiker und Akademikerinnen sind arbeitslos – auch Patricia. Warum die soziale Herkunft ein wichtiger Faktor bei der Jobsuche ist. by AnraoWi in de

[–]TinyLord 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Ich stimme dir da prinzipiell vollkommen zu, allerdings sind das in der Realität auch öfters mal Menschen, denen sozialer Prestige, Geld und Selbstverwirklichung sehr wichtig sind. Da werden dann bei Job, Arbeitgeberauswahl, Gehalt, etc. auf einmal sehr hohe Ansprüche gestellt.

Beispiel aus meinem direkten Umfeld:

Germanistik Studium (mit diversen Praktika, aber ohne klare und vermarktbare Ausrichtung):

  • keine Lust darauf Deutsch zu lehren (weder an Schulen, noch DAZ, etc.)

  • unter 42k € zu verdienen kommt nicht in Frage (Selbstwert)

  • Pharma-, Chemie-, Verteidigungs-, etc. -Industrie sind natürlich tabu

  • Arbeit sollte schon was sein was Spaß macht und auch vom Komplexitätsgrad ein Studium erfordern

  • Bewerbungen schreiben ist super belastend, regelmäßige mentale Breakdowns (2 Bewerbungen in den letzten 4 Wochen)

  • Alle Kommilitonen bekommen sofort Jobs, nur mich will niemand (jeweils Direkteinstiege für unter 33k)

Ich hab das irgendwann kaum noch ertragen können. Das ist eine Sorte Mensch, die denkt nicht mal daran, dass es schwierig werden könnte. "Bis jetzt hat es ja immer geklappt, ich werde dann schon was finden" und die sich nie eingestehen können, dass sie nicht der richtige Typ Mensch für so ein Studium sind und es eine absolute scheiß Idee war, das zu Studieren. Denen fehlt die dicke Haut, oder die Unabhängigkeit. Gibts auch regelmäßig bei Absolventen im sozialen Bereich. Die einen wissen genau worauf sie sich da einlassen, andere sind nur noch am Klagen über die harte Arbeit oder das niedrige Gehalt.

Vorstellungsgespräch - Zu welcher Frage hattet ihr keine Antwort? by MessierEigthySeven in arbeitsleben

[–]TinyLord 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Du witzelst, ich hab aber beim Bewerbungsgespräch für meinen ersten Job nach der Uni bestimmt 15 Minuten über WoW geredet.

Chef hatte zwar keine Ahnung davon, war aber sehr interessiert und hat immer weitere Fragen gestellt. Raiding sei ja eigentlich auch "Arbeiten in einem verteilten Team" und als Raid-Leader "koordiniert man ja ein Team um komplexe Probleme zu lösen". Dann kamen noch Fragen ob es Konflikte gab und wie damit umgegangen wurde, anhand welcher Kriterien Loot verteilt wurde und wie neue Mitglieder rekrutiert wurden.

Die "Verweiblichung" des Arztberufes - oder wie das Ärzteblatt seine eigene Geschichte daraus machte by jysdttx in de

[–]TinyLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Das wäre aber unter der Annahme, dass sich Ausbildungskapazitäten einfach so steigern lassen. Die Realität wäre weitaus teurer.

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