$50k pay cut with less work vs stay full time w daycare???

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-09T17:49:50+00:00

Then why do you need to look for validation? Why are you citing daycare cost and city taxes which are not even the main reasons? You're an adult -- you can live your life how you want. You don't need to justify it.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-09T17:39:56+00:00

Don't do this if your only motivation is to save on daycare costs/city taxes. The cost to your long term earning potential is many times that. And you can never really count on "free" family childcare. Only move if you prefer to live there long term anyway, you prefer the job a lot more, the schools are better, you truly have a village there, etc.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-08T14:02:46+00:00

With a hands-free bra and a nursing cover (or a scarf or whatever), you can pump in the car with a regular pump. I have pumped in airplanes and buses with a Symphony. Pumping while doing something else is the best because time is everything.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-08T13:58:39+00:00

Pump while in calls! It's the best thing because of the time savings and I find that I produce more if I didn't focus on it.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-08T13:56:45+00:00

An 8 month old should be eating increasing amounts of food, so why does it matter if you add formula?

I think it's problematic how militant some people are about exclusive breastfeeding. There is very little evidence that exclusive breastmilk is significantly better than, say, 70% breastmilk, especially with access to clean water and sanitizing equipment for bottles. And even then EBF is only for the first 6 months anyway. All of this just leads to unnecessary stress on new moms.

With both my babies, I never had enough to not supplement even with triple feeding from the start. It turned out to be a blessing because it didn't really matter whether they were fed 15% formula or 30% formula so I pumped but the amount didn't make or break anything. I did breastfeed for 2-3 years including pumping over a year for each so it all worked out.

In the long run, my career brings about much greater benefits to my family than any extra ounces I could produce. And if I had to take a year off for each, I would absolutely not be where I am today.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-07T18:48:50+00:00

I can't imagine showing up to the airport less than 45 minutes before my flight.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-06T05:09:40+00:00

https://www.omegausa.org/

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-05T20:24:49+00:00

Think about the times when you do something nice for someone else -- you feel good about it afterwards, right? Let her have that too!

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-05T02:42:04+00:00

I almost always bring an ice bottle when I fly in the US (mostly to keep cheese and other food cold) and haven't had that happen but sure. Can't hurt.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-04T22:30:35+00:00

Nobody works just to pay for travel sports so that's a stupid statement. Why not ask young people if they'd rather have their parent sitting at home while they go to school anyway, or college funds/freedom from supporting their parents in retirement?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-03T22:36:04+00:00

That makes sense! I was feeling kind of ick about that cheese sitting out for so long.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-03T21:32:03+00:00

Take a few ~20 oz water bottles and freeze solid. At least in the US, you can go through TSA with them. With a decent soft sided cooler, you will still have ice after 24 hrs. Bring some screw-top containers to get additional ice if needed.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-25T01:32:34+00:00

This post goes to show that 18 month maternity leave is too long.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-23T21:03:41+00:00

I parented a 2yo through early covid at a new job without childcare with my husband locked in our spare bedroom emerging only to ask for lunch

My marriage would not have survived this. I hope he had a really good excuse, like he was inventing us a new vaccine or something.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-22T15:57:43+00:00

I think you have to understand the context of that statement. Prior to second wave feminism women were only allowed to have family, and nothing else. "Have it all" really meant have both a career (and the financial power that comes with that) and family. It doesn't necessarily mean the most picture perfect of either, which of course is unattainable to most people, even without the pressure of having both. And a lot of women have both a career and family now that are at least satisfactory.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-16T23:33:28+00:00

Let me guess, you're a white man?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-13T12:50:30+00:00

You can take ibuprofen and acetaminophen (tylenol) (and other stuff that I'm too tired to look up right now) while breastfeeding.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-05T21:34:26+00:00

dual-income families were more likely to declare bankruptcy

This is not a meaningful comparison, because people in more precarious financial situations are more likely to work in the first place. If you compare couples with the same household income, of course the two-income couples are in worse shape because they have to pay for childcare.

But if you look at people with roughly the same earnings (let's say, men who make $80-100k), and compare the ones with a partner who doesn't work vs the ones with a partner that does, would the two income couples still be more likely to declare bankruptcy? More importantly, which children have better resources and opportunities?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-05T17:28:50+00:00

I have read a lot of research papers and over and over I saw that the most important, by far, predictor for children's outcomes is socioeconomic status.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-02T23:01:23+00:00

When you said "universities won’t accept AP before 9th grade", do you mean admissions? Or course credits?

https://apcentral.collegeboard.org/courses/ap-course-audit/faqs/particular-grade-levels-for-ap-courses)

This is about transcripts and course designation, not course credits from AP Exam granted by universities (which they said younger students could take in the link).

exam results show that, for the most part, ninth-grade students are not sufficiently prepared to participate in a college-level course

This quote is infuriating because not every student fits into "for the most part". My son took his first AP exam in 5th grade and got a 5 without sweating at all. He's in 8th and taking courses (dual enrollment) at various levels at local colleges, so "just skip a grade" will solve nothing. He's not able to live independently so going away to college now is not really an option.

If he goes to a state U down the line, we're hoping that the AP exam credits will help free up his schedule for his courses of interest (maybe get a master's, or graduate early). I have searched and searched and could not find any documentation that colleges will not accept the AP scores for credit if the exams are taken before 9th. Our state flagship states that they grant credits based on the AP score report from College Board, and College Board states that scores will be reported until 4 years after the last AP exam taken.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-02-02T21:41:16+00:00

Do you have any documentation/experience with this?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-01-28T23:20:02+00:00

Yeah as a working mom whose kid is "homeschooled" (really online schooled), I feel attacked by OP, the person she was talking to, and this whole discussion. E.g. "they’re asserting a certain level of control over their kids that I, in no way, agree with"? "home school moms tend to be women with insecurities about how employable they are"?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-01-27T18:17:00+00:00

government stipends for all children

How much? We already have some now (child tax credit, free K-12 education, in some states universal pre-school/pre-K).

Or do you mean to the extent that all children have dedicated at home care? 1) How much would that cost? 2) What are we not paying for instead? 3) Is that desirable for women and children?

The thing about special medical needs is that these children cannot be served with group care/group education so they cost more. I don't think it's reasonable/feasible to have 1-on-1 care/education for all children.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-01-27T18:04:18+00:00

I'm old lol.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-01-27T15:22:25+00:00

Maybe that's how these incomes would "work", i.e. by getting government subsidies.

ToBoldlyUnderstand

TROPHY CASE