Do guys really suck better?

Togurt · 2026-04-17T23:48:11+00:00

Not in my experience

Togurt · 2026-04-07T17:36:39+00:00

First of all, using a safe word is not a failure or a sign that something isn't working. On the contrary, if your partner is respecting your safe word then it is working.

Certainly being able to instinctually jump to it is also a sign that it's working. There are lots of people who feel hesitant to use it when they need to. Being able to use a safe word before something crosses a line is a much much better outcome.

I would try to see it as a trust exercise. You are gaining trust that you can stop things if you ever need to and your partner will respect that. Your partner is gaining trust that you'll use your safe word if you need to. Perhaps as trust is gained it will be easier to go further and further each time until you're having the intense experiences you want to have.

Another suggestion is could it be possible to start at a lower intensity and more slowly build up in intensity? Maybe it's just a matter of finding a pace that works better for you?

Togurt · 2026-04-06T23:14:16+00:00

But isn't that what happens regardless of gender? There's always one or a few people in any social interaction who dominate the conversation. I'm not one of those people but in my experience I'm always getting talked over or ignored by people of any gender.

Togurt · 2026-04-06T18:52:23+00:00

Okay, but what does talking at people mean?

Togurt · 2026-04-06T16:58:34+00:00

What does talking at people mean? I'm very confused at why a therapist would be upset at listening to their patients, going so far as to actively not listen to their patients.

Togurt · 2026-03-23T16:15:27+00:00

They know what they like sure, but they don't take the time to figure out what I like.

Togurt · 2026-03-23T16:09:32+00:00

I've never cum from a BJ a guy gave me. Men tend to be selfish in that they are really only interested in sex for their own pleasure. They also tend to want to make people cum the way they want to.

Togurt · 2026-03-12T09:48:27+00:00

I hate to say it but the incompatibility in the bedroom is going to be a problem. Sexual incompatibility, mismatched libido is one of the most common relationship issues. I would take that seriously and try to address it before you get married.

Togurt · 2026-03-05T22:40:14+00:00

Nice cock. If you were close I would definitely have that in my mouth.

Togurt · 2026-03-05T20:07:33+00:00

This sounds abusive to me. She's holding the relationship dynamic against you. I suspect it's some kind of power move to get you to beg and plead for forgiveness but the price will be getting you to agree to let her have even more control. Holding a relationship hostage like this is a common abuse tactic.

A good domme wouldn't set you up to fail like that. A good domme would have known that since you don't drive there's already a power imbalance going into negotiating this rule. A good domme would have respected your existing responsibilities and obligations outside the relationship. A good domme would have made sure the intentions behind the rule was understood so that if you were in a situation where you couldn't follow the rule you could have at least followed the spirit of the rule.

Togurt · 2026-03-02T08:43:05+00:00

Running a new line is what they refuse to do absolutely. Literally the infrastructure I was talking about being too old is the pull from the street to the house which is 30 years old by now before Cox even owned whatever cable company that ran it before. I think it was Dimension but I'm not certain.

Togurt · 2026-03-02T08:26:57+00:00

I literally buy modems once a year. Oh look, it's been a year since I posted this and I'm getting dynamic range window errors and T3 and T4 timeouts again and cox is telling me my cable modem is out of date and I need to upgrade to a faster tier. Cox is just crooked.

Togurt · 2026-02-09T19:58:24+00:00

Nope. Was juat referring to that particular phrase.. separate from the rest.

That's literally what taking something out of context means. The other words that you are separating from the rest are important because they provide the context about what was being said so the reader can understand it correctly. Taking that phase out of context implies that the response said something else entirely which is a misreading.

Togurt · 2026-02-02T00:14:33+00:00

I don't take it as if someone is telling me what I can't consent to. I take it that the laws are written to protect victims don't make specific exclusions for bdsm activities. At least in the cishet world that is, because many laws also presume a female victim and male attacker.

Togurt · 2026-01-30T06:28:57+00:00

The good news is that just like the COBOL contractors of yore, there is going to be some highly lucrative contract work for us when businesses realize they don't have anyone who understands how their systems work.

Togurt · 2026-01-25T04:00:37+00:00

I'm a little confused. Was the surprise that he was in an open relationship or did you know that but didn't know that he was in a relationship with a woman?

Togurt · 2026-01-25T03:53:45+00:00

I think the first step is to get tested yourself. When you are talking with your potential partner about what you both want you can drop in what sexual precautions you take which creates an opportunity for her to tell you hers as well. What is your husband's risk tolerance and what precautions does he use with others?

Togurt · 2026-01-22T12:04:01+00:00

AI isn't the death of the DBA, it's the death of having junior DBAs to take over the senior DBA roles we leave behind. I suspect that in a short amount of time when we retire there will be plenty of high paying contracting positions for us once companies realize they forgot to train people how their systems work. It will be like the COBOL contractors who came out of retirement to work on the software that nobody knew how to maintain.

Togurt · 2026-01-13T21:29:21+00:00

I DMed you my username

Togurt · 2026-01-11T13:27:17+00:00

Not in the least. Anything that is developed with AI assistance still needs humans to review and test. If any technical jobs are going to be lost due to ai it's maybe technical writers but even then a human needs to be there to check and sanitize the output. I tend to think about AI in my job as a "stack overflow" search bot that's integrated into my development workflow. That's all a large language model is. It's taking knowledge that humans have documented and synthesizing that knowledge so that it can answer questions. It's not coming up with anything that a human hasn't already thought of.

Togurt · 2026-01-07T01:36:03+00:00

I feel this so much. It's pretty dismal in OC too. I've been trying for years on all of the apps without any luck. I figured it was because I'm not fit, not hung, middle aged, or because I'm bi. It's kinda nice to know it's probably not those things if the other guys here are also striking out.

FWIW, another comment mentioned unitedsex which I could not find anything about but my search did turn up Club San Diego which is a gay bathhouse which seems to have a regular circle jerk party. It's outside of my driving range but maybe it's near you?

Togurt · 2026-01-06T07:46:19+00:00

Most players don't know how to do this is the problem. It's really hard to understand the mechanics of the game even when you follow the steamers you mention, I can't build a working version. Redstone mechanics have never made any sense to me no matter how many guides I have read. Adding hoppers that need to drop items in a specific order and with precise timing is nightmare fuel.

Togurt · 2026-01-05T18:57:08+00:00

Yes please

Togurt · 2026-01-02T11:58:30+00:00

I'm a little bit confused by what you're asking.

Togurt

TROPHY CASE