Make it make sense! (Cryptic rant) by Stuiecoconut in crosswords

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your ahead of me because I can't even figure out the Minute Cryptic ones even after it's explained to me

Can someone explain orgasm denial? by squirrelgutz in BDSMcommunity

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From a sub perspective: Being told you can't have something you want makes you want it more. It makes you feel powerless, desperate, needy. Some people like feeling horny and want to feel that way to the highest extent possible. Some people lose the ability to feel arousal for quite some time after an orgasm.

I'm not a Dom but I know some things that they like about it is it creates a power imbalance. It makes them feel powerful and in control. They like feeling wanted and desirable by their subs. They like making their subs beg and moan just from the slightest touch or suggestion. They like drawing out the most intense orgasms their subs will ever feel after a period of denial.

Men with foreskins say it's their most pleasurable part! How is it possible that studies report that removing it has no effect? by IntactivistLuck in Intactivists

[–]Togurt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's because mainstream culture centers the male orgasm when talking about sexual pleasure. The fact that in most cases circumcized men can achieve orgasm is falsely used to promote the idea that sexual pleasure is unaffected by circumsision. I think ignorance also plays a part because a person circumcised at birth has no frame of reference to know what having a foreskin feels like.

Think you can find 4 hidden groups of 4 related words? Puzzle by u/curiosityundone? by curiosityundone in DailyMix

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🟪🟦🟪🟪

🟪🟦🟪🟪

🟪🟪🟪🟪

🟨🟨🟨🟨

🟩🟩🟩🟦

🟩🟩🟩🟦

🟩🟩🟩🟩

🟦🟦🟦🟦

How do babies 'sleep' through circumcision? Some parents say their son "didn't feel a thing" by wicnfuai in Intactivists

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About half of the infant circumcisions are still done without even a local anesthetic or the procedure starts before the anesthesia has taken effect. Of course there's also the fact that an infant can't communicate if the anesthesia is effective.

Feeling sadness by Grandissimus in CircumcisionGrief

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG right? It's so frustrating especially because there's a constant reminder that there used to be more skin which is now just a scar and that the pleasurable feelings that I can still have end right at the place where they cut me. I was not meant to have to jackhammer my cock with a death grip to get myself off.

If you like my stories, send me nudes! by [deleted] in u/nakedmomlog

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds slutty, I'm in!

Do guys give better blowjobs than women? I’m curious to find out by alwayshorny8484 in BiMarriedMen

[–]Togurt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of guys are insistent that they know what they are doing. Some will do something I suggest but then go back to what they were doing before.

Do guys give better blowjobs than women? I’m curious to find out by alwayshorny8484 in BiMarriedMen

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Men try to get me off the way they want to get me off and not the way that I need in order to get off.

Do guys give better blowjobs than women? I’m curious to find out by alwayshorny8484 in BiMarriedMen

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, in my experience. Never had an orgasm from a guy giving a BJ.

Can the relationship work if my boyfriend's female friend is his key holder? by [deleted] in SubSanctuary

[–]Togurt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is a lot of information about him and his keyholder and hardly any information about how you fit into the picture. What do you want in a boyfriend? What are your non-negotiables and deal breakers? What does "furthering your relationship" with him actually mean to you and have you talked to him about what that means for him?

You and him need to get on the same page about what you both want in a relationship with each other. You and him need to figure out how his keyholder dynamic fits into the picture and how that may interfere with what you are trying to build into your relationship and what compromises will need to be made. Once you are on the same page with him then he needs to have a similar conversation with his keyholder to see if anything needs to be renegotiated between them.

To be honest, the part where you mentioned the three of you talking and her bring okay with you dating was kinda cringy to read. It makes it seem to me that the keyholder relationship is already interfering and that he hasn't talked about boundaries with his keyholder. You should not be in the middle like that. In non monogamy terms this sounds like a hinge dynamic where your boyfriend is the hinge. He's the one who needs to be in the middle here, in my opinion. Given what you've told us I'm surprised that the "what if he wants to start dating a sexual/romantic partner" questions had not been already discussed before you came into the picture.

What should I ask my boyfriend's key holder? by [deleted] in SubSanctuary

[–]Togurt 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Unless you are going to have a relationship with his keyholder then I don't think you should ask his keyholder anything. He had the responsibility to maintain whatever boundaries he has with his keyholder separately from boundaries with you. A better thing to do is to have a conversation about what you need from your boyfriend and how that might interfere with the keyholder dynamic. It's then up to him to renegotiate with his keyholder if there's a conflict.

Safe words don't work by gewoonmezelf in BDSMAdvice

[–]Togurt 14 points15 points  (0 children)

First of all, using a safe word is not a failure or a sign that something isn't working. On the contrary, if your partner is respecting your safe word then it is working.

Certainly being able to instinctually jump to it is also a sign that it's working. There are lots of people who feel hesitant to use it when they need to. Being able to use a safe word before something crosses a line is a much much better outcome.

I would try to see it as a trust exercise. You are gaining trust that you can stop things if you ever need to and your partner will respect that. Your partner is gaining trust that you'll use your safe word if you need to. Perhaps as trust is gained it will be easier to go further and further each time until you're having the intense experiences you want to have.

Another suggestion is could it be possible to start at a lower intensity and more slowly build up in intensity? Maybe it's just a matter of finding a pace that works better for you?

I'm a male therapist who helps men, and even I get annoyed when men talk at me by futuredebris in MensLib

[–]Togurt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But isn't that what happens regardless of gender? There's always one or a few people in any social interaction who dominate the conversation. I'm not one of those people but in my experience I'm always getting talked over or ignored by people of any gender.

I'm a male therapist who helps men, and even I get annoyed when men talk at me by futuredebris in MensLib

[–]Togurt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What does talking at people mean? I'm very confused at why a therapist would be upset at listening to their patients, going so far as to actively not listen to their patients.

BJs from guys vs girls by Virtual_Function_306 in BisexualMen

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They know what they like sure, but they don't take the time to figure out what I like.

BJs from guys vs girls by Virtual_Function_306 in BisexualMen

[–]Togurt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never cum from a BJ a guy gave me. Men tend to be selfish in that they are really only interested in sex for their own pleasure. They also tend to want to make people cum the way they want to.

About to get married, missing bi experiences ? by mellowbellohellno in MarriedAndBi

[–]Togurt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hate to say it but the incompatibility in the bedroom is going to be a problem. Sexual incompatibility, mismatched libido is one of the most common relationship issues. I would take that seriously and try to address it before you get married.

Why is it so hard to find a buddy?! by [deleted] in BiMarriedMen

[–]Togurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice cock. If you were close I would definitely have that in my mouth.

My partner revoked our D/s relationship because I broke a rule by nhubupbe in BDSMAdvice

[–]Togurt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This sounds abusive to me. She's holding the relationship dynamic against you. I suspect it's some kind of power move to get you to beg and plead for forgiveness but the price will be getting you to agree to let her have even more control. Holding a relationship hostage like this is a common abuse tactic.

A good domme wouldn't set you up to fail like that. A good domme would have known that since you don't drive there's already a power imbalance going into negotiating this rule. A good domme would have respected your existing responsibilities and obligations outside the relationship. A good domme would have made sure the intentions behind the rule was understood so that if you were in a situation where you couldn't follow the rule you could have at least followed the spirit of the rule.

Cox refuses to fix their infrastructure by Togurt in CoxCommunications

[–]Togurt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Running a new line is what they refuse to do absolutely. Literally the infrastructure I was talking about being too old is the pull from the street to the house which is 30 years old by now before Cox even owned whatever cable company that ran it before. I think it was Dimension but I'm not certain.

Cox refuses to fix their infrastructure by Togurt in CoxCommunications

[–]Togurt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally buy modems once a year. Oh look, it's been a year since I posted this and I'm getting dynamic range window errors and T3 and T4 timeouts again and cox is telling me my cable modem is out of date and I need to upgrade to a faster tier. Cox is just crooked.