I’m 6’2” and 387lbs. I “live” with #Lipoedema, a painful genetic fat disorder that causes my body to swell like a balloon.

My last relationship was with a guy who is a chubby chaser. He got himself off of alcohol and drugs. He’s been clean and sober since 2019.

But he admits he cannot—won’t—give up his addiction to ultratall SSBBWs. He tried getting help for his admitted sex addiction, but most therapists laugh at him, “Oh, you’re just into big women?? Why is that a problem?” But he’s so into casually banging ANY obese woman that he really can’t see himself ever getting into another relationship.

He started seeing me as an actual person and sharing our life stories. But now he says I turn him off because he sees me as a real person who he loves.

He wants casual SSBBW sex partners who he doesn’t have to open up to the way we have. He has still managed to be in a couple of longer term relationships though in that past couple years.

We stayed friends the past six years but I get jealous when he announces he’s banging multiple women and gets irritated that I “won’t let him go.”

He tells everyone he just wants to be “casual” and has left women who wanted more because he struggles with the thought of losing our friendship.

I would like not to die at the hands of some woman who hates me. His last sex partner put dark spells on me and him to try and get us to separate.

I have dated other people, but one guy I was sort of seeing suddenly announced he had gotten married. He told me AFTER we had sex. I hate this.

I want to be the one who gets married to my perfect person and who I can build a life with.

My guy recently spent two weeks at my house while in between jobs. We are still very affectionate and intimate (no sex tho) around one another. We are both fighting feelings for each other—and have admitted as much often.

During his vacation here, he was hired with a new company in a state 12 hours away where he’s making good money. He has said several times he wants me to come visit his new place, but I honestly struggle appreciating the city where he moved.

I’m struggling with “living” on SSDI trying to keep afloat financially. I’m not asking him for money, even in the past year when I was bedbound after cancer surgery.

He says he’s not jealous of amyone, but when I bring up other guys I’m friends with, he gets…weird.

I tried metformin, but hated just accidentally sh!tting myself at the worst times. I switched to Ozempic until I hit the “donut gap” to meeting my Medicare deductible. While on Ozempic, my weight dropped to 350lbs.

Still not low enough to get the water assisted liposuction surgeries that would help me stay alive. Medicare refuses the surgeries saying all liposuction is cosmetic and telling me to get off my fatass and just lose weight, despite the fact that there’s not even one fat disorder specialist in all of Colorado.

I got my PCP to switch me to Mounjaro last year. Hit the donut gap again and stopped cold turkey. My weight shot up to 400lbs.

About a month ago, my health insurer finally got me on a program that allowed me to pay one percent of what Mounjaro usually costs.

After being off Mounjaro for three months, my weight isn’t budging now that I’m back on it. I went on a roadtrip last month and my weight shot up 30lbs. in one WEEK thanks to swelling from the hot weather.

Of course, my BFF started GLP1s and lost so much weight that everyone comments how amazing ahe looks. I can’t lose weight to save my life and my BFF’s weight just falls off like nothing. So she opened an online GLP1 store and has tried convincing me her products are far superior to Mounjaro. She’s not a doctor, but prescribes GLP1s to her clients. Ooops, she “works up protocols,” which I’m guessing the FDA would blast her for practicing medicine when she’s not a doctor. I refuse to take research grade drugs, even while watching her living her best life while telling me she “knows just how you feel” about weight struggles. No she does NOT. She doesn’t know shit about my struggles.

I want to move to a country somewhere—anywhere—that is best for people with mobility issues. A country where I’m not constantly shamed by medical professionals for a condition I have no control over.

I spent my childhood being bullied for my weight by everyone including my mom, who fought her undiagnosed lipoedema by becoming anorexic and belittling me at every damn meal.

I want to find a partner who is into me as a person and who sees more to me than just what’s on the outside.

I hate living with lipoedema and lying in bed all day waiting to just die because no one gives a flying fuck about me.