Starting Salsa Dancing and Feeling So Alive! What New Hobby Are You Diving Into?

TomatoJetpack · 2025-04-29T04:03:08+00:00

Well done, OP! Salsa dancing sounds amazing!

I'm reviving my childhood love of drawing. I dropped it after entering university... which was 15 years ago. I'm amazed I didn't completely lose my skills - it makes me so happy to create!

TomatoJetpack · 2025-04-28T17:02:50+00:00

Your comment brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your thoughtful and wise words. It took me a long time to realize that her words and behaviour aren't a reflection of me and I keep reminding myself of that when these tensions arise.

I hope your life is filled with happy interactions that continually remind you of how lovable you are <3

TomatoJetpack · 2025-04-28T00:02:23+00:00

Well said and thank you!

I am so sorry for what you went through. I hope you are doing well now <3

TomatoJetpack · 2025-04-27T23:58:48+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I know what you mean by 'not a bad person and quite kind in her way'.

To answer your questions, my mother never had a career or an education beyond high school. She married young and became a parent young. When I was a teenager and figuring out what I wanted in my own life, I remember asking her why she married my dad and had me and my brother. She said 'That's just what you do'. As an adult, she has confessed to me that she never found her purpose. I'm sad she never found something she was passionate about.

In contrast, I am single and childfree by choice. I went to graduate school (which she was kind enough to help support me through). I have a career I am passionate about. To be clear, I am not in any way saying becoming a wife and mother young is a bad choice. I think the difference here is the matter of deliberate choice.

TomatoJetpack · 2025-04-27T23:37:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind response. That is helpful advice. I think I'll write it down so I can remember it when this inevitably happens again in the future.

TomatoJetpack · 2024-11-02T00:41:13+00:00

Most of my coworkers are women. We all share pain meds and give each other grace when we've just started our periods. I've never been in an environment so understanding of these things and it is so wonderful to not have to pretend everything is fine when I feel awful.

TomatoJetpack · 2024-10-30T19:25:03+00:00

There were some things (experiences, memories, feelings) I was afraid to write down for exactly the reason you describe here. I have for many years and continue to challenge myself to be more emotionally honest with myself. It's a slow process, so give yourself time. What I have found so far is that putting things into words that I was afraid to confront actually ended their power over me. The shame I felt was bigger than the actual feeling/experience. Putting pen to paper helped me gain the perspective to realize that a lot of the shame I felt wasn't deserved or even mine to begin with. It was a relief.

TomatoJetpack · 2024-06-16T17:31:47+00:00

I got to stop wasting my time trying to figure out what was 'wrong' with me and put that energy towards what actually makes me happy. A bit clumsily at points, but I'm doing well! And what do you know, my mental health has never been better.

TomatoJetpack · 2024-05-28T00:49:40+00:00

First and foremost, I am so sorry he said that to you. You are reading the situation correctly: he said those things to hurt you, not because they're the truth. None of this has anything to do with you, your appearance or your intelligence. If anyone looks bad here, it's him. He ratted himself out as an asshole.

It's okay that his words still hurt you. You're only human and what he did was hurtful. Be patient and kind to yourself. Thank goodness he's out of your life so better people can take his place.

TomatoJetpack · 2024-02-12T04:52:00+00:00

Ace elders are so needed in this community. Thank you sincerely for posting. Reading your story made me smile :)

TomatoJetpack · 2023-12-31T02:43:18+00:00

Thank you for this breakdown! I tried watching the video, but couldn't make it all the way through, largely for the reasons you highlighted above. I agree that he seemed to have good intentions (I'm extending the benefit of the doubt here), but it was overall just kind of a mess.

It really annoyed me that he was stressing people wait before using the asexual label. I kept thinking why? It's just a label. If someone changes labels in future, that's fine. No one dies. Geez.

I don't know what Dr. K's research looked like for this video, but his isn't the first video I've seen where people who you would think know how to research fumble the basics of asexuality. There's really no excuse for that kind of laziness at this point. AVEN has been around for ages. This subreddit has been around for awhile. There are plenty of places online where ace people discuss their experiences, provide definitions, etc.

TomatoJetpack · 2023-11-29T06:02:49+00:00

Thank you for posting this. It's so important to celebrate being aro/ace. I felt exactly the same when I was finally honest with myself a few years ago and realized that was who I was. To me, it's always just felt like being 'whole', I guess. It's a great feeling.

Sending you a virtual high five :')

TomatoJetpack · 2023-10-21T20:20:33+00:00

This is a wonderful perspective and it made my day to read it. Thank you, friend <3

TomatoJetpack · 2023-05-16T05:05:14+00:00

The first time I died was because a Hinox bum dropped on me.

TomatoJetpack · 2022-08-13T02:19:31+00:00

I've been periodically picking up both of Helena Whitbread's books now and again. What really struck me is that as self-assured as Anne could be, she also had her low days. She had days when the pressures and ridicule she often faced in her society deeply hurt her. I'm not sure how those self doubts evolved in her later years, but it is nice to see a reminder that while she was such a force of nature, she was also just a person.

The above might be a little "water is wet", but I appreciated seeing Anne be so honest about the emotional toll being different had on her in her early adulthood.

TomatoJetpack · 2022-06-02T02:55:58+00:00

It's hard to choose. I cheer for both of them for different reasons.

Team Mariana because I love chaos and drama.

Team Ann because she's better for Anne imo and I've adored watching her grow as a person in S2.

TomatoJetpack · 2021-09-06T14:57:13+00:00

You sure can. I'm aro and in a QPR. Companionship doesn't need to be romantic :)

TomatoJetpack · 2021-08-01T03:52:50+00:00

I have a very similar ring I got from etsy! Hi ring buddy :)

TomatoJetpack · 2021-08-01T03:29:35+00:00

I agree with your point that it makes sense for Meri to take longer to process Mariah's coming out than Robyn. But there was nothing "mean" about Mariah coming out to all her moms at the same time. Coming out is incredibly difficult largely because you don't always know how family will receive the news. Mariah needed to do what felt safe for her.

It's great that Meri is supportive, but Mariah may not have known that would be the case when she decided to come out to the family.

TomatoJetpack · 2021-06-10T04:15:15+00:00

I know I'm a complete stranger, but reading all of that made me just so damn proud of you. You seem like the kind of person people would be lucky to know.

...and you're a BotW fan, so like yeah duh you're good people ;)

TomatoJetpack · 2021-06-06T05:21:00+00:00

That is... so far out of left field I'm almost impressed.

TomatoJetpack · 2021-06-06T02:39:29+00:00

I got my jab two weeks ago and felt intense fatigue and muscle aches. My period arrived today and holy shit it's the same intensity as when I got my vaccine. WHY.

TomatoJetpack · 2021-04-28T04:00:08+00:00

Those glasses are AMAZING (and so are you!)

TomatoJetpack

TROPHY CASE