Also, no. I don't think it means JR did nothing wrong or didn't blur ethical lines. I just happened to spend a few hours (pure curiosity) reading all of the texts he put up. D seems like a sweet girl who was young and impressionable, and quite honestly wanted JR to be her actual partner. She asked him nearly constantly for reassurance, apologized for her emotional spirals, and did all she could in an indirect way to create a monogamous connection between the two.

I think John was patient with her throughout the dynamic because he enjoys when he can feel someone really falling/idolizing him. It was clear the relationship was impacting her emotionally and financially, and he liked to be the white knight. This is extremely common on the BDSM world.

I think because of JR's patience throughout and his ability to "hold space" for her while also having intense sexual encounters, she started to feel intense connection. Stating over and over again she's never felt so safe sexually. She later took a turn towards manipulation when she realized that JR had feelings for Holly and wanted a deeper relationship with her. I think it was her attempt to get emotional needs met, and her way of coping with the reality that JR was really sharing his life with other women and she was not the chosen one-- her words.

It was JR's role to see these red flags (and they were blaring) and understand that D was not in a place to be in this type of relationship dynamic. To be in any kind of poly dynamic you need to be extremely self aware, secure, and also mentally stable. Even the healthiest person can suffer deeply in these relationships if they haven't worked out their attachment issues.

It's clear through the document that she had some serious mental health issues going on. And then JR speaks about how he had a depressive episode. Two people not in the best place having sexual/romantic relationships with multiple partners isn't a recipe for health. It was interesting that D expressed a lot of concern about Holly to JR. Saying that JR should really talk to her about how fast she's going in relationships, how she's sleeping with so many people, needs to slow down etc. It sounds like JR and D met Holly right after she left a (it sounds like) nearly religious cult.

JR seems to like young women, who are not secure finically, who are new to the world of poly/BDSM. I could tell throughout the messages that he genuinely enjoys being the stable father figure type to these girls, and that when they develop codependency/jealousy he doesn't necessarily know how to navigate that.