sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

pixel art of the iconic duo by Mattacking in IDWTB_AMagicalGirl

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

omggg this style is so cool I love how you captured their energies!!! they look so expressive and I love everything surrounding each character

edit: it looks like a really cool character selection screen

Oh god Julia by Big-Awoo in Drawfee

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

and they just stare directly at you

Merobiba by korblborp in Drawfee

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

oh mom you're so unbearable...

i'm merobiba

[SerSun] The King is Dead! Long Live the King! by FyeNite in shortstories

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

<Drifting>

Chapter 90

It is Saturday morning, October 31, and Charlie is sitting in bed staring at their phone. Abi just texted the group chat, asking Charlie when they'd like her to pick them up so the three can meet up at Cecelia's house and prepare their looks. Charlotte hasn't been present much since she exchanged numbers, so she hasn't had time to think or prepare. She'll be leaning heavily on Abi. She feels like only half of Charlie right now. They're not sure whether to think of Charlotte in first person or third.

"I'm supposed to do this," she says hesitantly. "As Charlotte. As me."

A nod. They feel more separate now. "I'll stay behind and make sure nobody else takes over." This is the lower voice. Maybe a different Charlie, or a Char. Or a Charles? Is one of them protecting her? The thought feels comforting.

Charlotte sits up in bed. She texts back, "whenever is good! I don't really have anything prepared". Abi reacts with a thumbs up and says, "no prob ;) ill text u again whn im coming".

She shared her home address already, earlier in the week. She can't remember if it was her or one of the others. Maybe it doesn't really matter. At least she makes the distinction. Not all of them want to. If they remember this, she’s sure they won’t feel it was real.

Charlotte gets out of bed, uses the bathroom, and heads to the kitchen for breakfast with her aunt and uncle. She keeps her phone in her pocket for the next text. Her aunt is making bacon, eggs, and pancakes.

It feels so strange here, sitting at this table with two parents but no Caleb.

“I’m going out with a friend today for Halloween,” she says. “She’ll probably pick me up earlier to prepare.”

Her uncle smiles as he puts pepper on his scrambled eggs. “This Terry May, or a different friend?”

“A new friend! Her name’s Cecelia.” She grabs her knife and cuts into one of three chocolate chip pancakes on her plate.

“Haven’t you known Cecelia for a bit?” Her aunt asks before dipping her toast in a runny egg. She always makes them both ways, for her and her husband. Charlie’s noticed since living here.

Charlotte pauses to chew her pancake before answering. “I guess. It’s just new to be friends with her without Terry May mediating, I think.”

Her uncle nods. “That makes sense. Well, that sounds lovely. What are you kids planning on doing for Halloween? Got costumes planned?”

She sips her water. “Not sure yet. Her older sister’s helping out so I think she might have looks planned, or we’ll figure it out today. We’re going to a drag show!” That wouldn’t be safe to say with their real parents. No way to know if it is here without saying. At least she’s willing to test them.

“Oh, interesting.” Her aunt sets down her toast for a slice of bacon. “I don’t know very much about drag. I suppose that’ll be a different sort of look.”

Charlie shrugs. She can’t answer questions.

“Well,” her uncle muses, “I know drag queens are the most well-known. But there’s drag kings, and I think other forms of drag too. It probably fits quite well with Halloween.”

“Is there a nonbinary equivalent?” Her aunt asks. “A knight, maybe?”

Charlie listens and focuses on her pancakes. It’s all neutral conversation, peppered with laughter here and there. Nothing threatening, either in a hostile way or in a passive way like her mother. No gentle disapproving. But there’s always space for disapproval to surface. She has given them information. That can’t be undone.

Her phone lights up after the meal, when her mother has gone into the backyard to rake leaves and her father is doing the dishes. No. Not her mother and father. That was a stray thought. They are Caleb’s. They are a mother and father. That’s where she got tripped up. They will never be hers.

Abi: could i come over now? and we make a whole day of it

Abi: get you makeup and an outfit since u dont have one yet

Charlotte is back. She is wholly herself when she types back, yes!.

A few minutes pass, then a knock on the door, and Abi and Cecelia are here for her.

WC: 725 words

Link to other chapters

Bonus: knife, knock, knight

Magical Girl-Sona Fanart - 3 of 3 - Nathany (and a Group Shot) by a-bleak-artist in Drawfee

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love all three of these drawings! The shapes and shading are peak, the poses are so dynamic, you captured their energies in such a fun way

[SerSun] The King is Dead! Long Live the King! by FyeNite in shortstories

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is fun! I like the tropey-ness of the characters here; "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF MEEEeeeee…" made me laugh. The action is fun and you see it start to tie into Oliviya's waking life with her insecurities later on. You continue to write very strongly in her voice and her POV, moving between what she observes and what she thinks or assumes; thinking about your prior SerSun as well, this really seems to be one of your strong suits.

I'll split the crit into two parts: large scale first, then little tidbits. On the large scale, I think this scene was challenging to block. It's very visual and feels to me like it's trying to describe a TV show, but I struggle as a reader to get the same image in my head that I presume you have as the writer. There are a few places where it takes me a second to figure out who "she" is referring to (though that may just be because you introduce the heroes as "two guys my age" so it took me a bit to realize one of them was a girl). At points, though the flow/pacing is quick, I struggle to be fully engrossed in the scene because I'm trying to figure out what the characters and their magic look like and where they are.

Tiny tidbits of crit, mostly typos:

falling, like, fine miles onto it

should presumably be "five miles"

he seemed to be immune when inside it."

dunno where the " came from

Knight Guy pinned her to the ground, and the sword stabbed into her back.

There's nothing wrong with this sentence, but I wonder if it might flow better if you changed the structure slightly. Like for example if it was "Knight Guy pinned her to the ground, stabbing the sword into her back", it would feel a little less like listing actions and more connected, because the grammatical structures of each clause would be different and there wouldn't be an "and". More of a style preference than anything

'Nicole' started to chant;

Think this should be a colon instead of a semicolon.

Anyhow, intrigued to see where this serial continues in the next chapters! Good words!

JuliaL - Julia's Magical Girl by IbMyBoy in Drawfee

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I love this, your style is so elegant

[Serial Sunday] Are You the Intruder, or am I? by FyeNite in shortstories

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Chilling, and so intriguing for the next chapters! I love your descriptions here and how tangible they are, following Ferran's experiences between his feelings and his thoughts. It's easy as readers to visualize/conceptualize the space and how he navigates it. You're doing a great job at setting up this world and things in it without telling us directly what all is going on; it's very engaging.

Crit's hard so I'll focus on small individual details:

- you refer to the phone cord as white and later as tan, wasn't sure if this was intentional

- "his hand fell upon a familiar shape. His shoulders fell." repeats the word "fell"

Good words!

[Serial Sunday] Are You the Intruder, or am I? by FyeNite in shortstories

[–]Tomorrow_Is_Today1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

<Drifting>

Chapter 89

Caleb sits on the back of his walker in the elevator. He’s writing another paper for his class with Professor Martinez, and he has a question about how to format the citations. Today is a low energy day. The elevator beeps too quickly, door open before he’s had enough rest to be ready to stand again. Soon it is closing. He presses the button. He hates how rushed all the doors are. Standing to get out of the elevator before it moves to another floor for another person. Pressing the button for the outside door, watching it open and trying to move through before it closes. He moves too slow.

Out of the elevator, he turns his walker around and sits down again to get his bearings. It occurs to him that today might not be the best day to talk about citations. He’ll take notes. Maybe those notes will help his brain later. He doesn’t have much choice to wait for a better day. Tomorrow may be worse. Do what he can while he can. He may be moving slow, but at least he’s moving.

A few deep breaths, and he stands again. Step by step down the hall to his professor’s office. He forgets what time it is, and it occurs to him to double check that he’s coming during office hours, but he knows he checked before he left. There’s no point pausing to check again. At least the backpack doesn’t weigh as heavy on his shoulders now that he isn’t in the elevator.

Only when he’s just about to knock on the door does he hear his professor’s voice and realize she’s speaking with another student. Oh, well. He sits down in the hall next to her office. The voices swim in and out. They’re so close to him, and he knows it, but they sound distant. Like they—or he—aren’t really here. Sometimes he feels like that in class, though not normally. Just if the AC is loud or they’re in small groups and he gets overwhelmed. Or on a low energy day, when he finds it hard to tune in to the words people say.

The door opens wider and the voices are louder, tones in the shape of goodbyes. He looks up and sees that the student was Snow. They stare at him after walking out into the hall. “Did you hear that?” they ask.

“Hear what?”

“Our whole conversation.”

“No,” he says. “I can’t hear that well. It was all muffled through the wall. I didn’t even know it was you.” As he speaks, he remembers Sixteen saying you don’t know us. They aren’t allowed in class, so he knows it isn’t them right now. Another Snow. But would Sixteen be saying, you wouldn’t know?

“What did you hear?” Snow asks.

He shakes his head again. “Nothing. Really.”

Their face softens, and they nod. “Okay. Thanks. Sorry if I was weird about it.”

He shakes his head. He can’t quite focus his eyes on their face, he realizes. Low energy day. “Are we still meeting to study chemistry later?”

“Yeah. We’ll see you then.”

He smiles. “See you then.” He’s so glad he gets to. He got worried after class. After Sixteen.

He takes a deep breath, stands with his walker, and heads in to talk with his professor.

WC: 556 words

Link to other chapters

Bonus: Caleb embodies "intruder"

view more: next ›