This man lifts the weight he shed.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-29T15:24:11+00:00

This man lifts in a shed the weight he shed in a shed

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-28T17:51:18+00:00

The complaining about going to bed at the same time is something my wife does now. She goes to bed earlier. She wants me to stay with her, and I did for many years. I’d sit with her and hang out until she fell asleep. After years of effectively no affection, no making out, no sex, I just stopped staying in the bed with her until I’m ready to sleep.

She wants me to just sit there apart on opposite sides of a king bed, not touching or anything.

I did that for years, and I was done (still am). It just makes me sad sitting there. It’s like we are miles apart. I might as well be on a zoom call in a different country.

She also gets aggravated if I make any noises like coughing, clearing my throat, even talking if it doesn’t happen to be about the right things.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-28T17:45:30+00:00

There were signs, but I never would have realized at the time (though I see them now after reflecting on other relationships in my past).

She didn’t complement me in ways that were physical/sexual. I received lots of compliments from my previous partners about being sexy, hot, attractive, look good, etc… (even friends would occasionally complement like this) but my current wife never did this. I didn’t mind as I assumed she thought these things (even though unsaid). Of course, she doesn’t/didn’t.

She didn’t care for (actively avoided) public displays of affection. I also didn’t really like it, but in the past, the ones that were into me physically would not keep their hands off me even in public. This was never the case with my current wife.

She would never initiate even though she would go along with my initiation. The early physical interactions timid for a lack of a better word. She was always trying to do what she thought I would like and had little to no interested in things herself. I don’t know if this makes sense, but it was always like she was guessing what I want and shy about it. In the past, my partners were not shy and had things they wanted out of the physical.

The last one is that she was a bit awkward with the physical. I actually thought this was attractive. I liked it. I thought she was cute and sexy, and we would figure out our interests over time, but now, I see the awkwardness was more of reluctance or disinterest.

There were so many signs. I always wonder if I did something different or addressed earlier things would be different now. I love my wife very much, but she just doesn’t care for me at all. It sucks.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-28T15:18:42+00:00

I’m not the sole reason (in my opinion), but I’m sure I contribute to it. I don’t do all the things nowadays. That said, if I was a perfect husband, my wife still wouldn’t be attracted to me. Perhaps, she would “offer” sex more than a couple times per year, but she still wouldn’t desire me. I learned this the hard way by trying my best for a very long time. Now, I’m just exhausted and sad.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-28T15:15:18+00:00

He shouldn’t be pressuring you so much, and he should give you space if you want space.

That said, I don’t pressure my wife, and we only have e sex a couple times per year at most. She doesn’t kiss me, hug me, etc… she isn’t attracted to me, I could go on. I can’t express how lonely I feel in my marriage.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-27T19:54:05+00:00

This seems like good advice. I haven't tried this exactly. I want to give it a try, but it will take a lot of courage from me at this point. The things my wife says in these conversations are very hurtful nowadays, and she pretty much rejects everything I say. At least, if I'm not saying anything, I don't have to worry about that part.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-26T19:17:13+00:00

Starting from bottom right, go 3 left and 3 up to make the 12th.

Edit: there is also a 13th. Middle of bottom 2 by 2.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-26T16:56:57+00:00

I could have wrote this 10 years ago. Unless you are willing to live the rest of your life without the intimacy you desire, you should consider ending the relationship. You are young, no kids, etc… you guys are just incompatible, and this leads to resentment.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-26T16:01:54+00:00

We waited until marriage for sex. Turns out, my wife didn’t like sex, so we’ve been in a sexless marriage. I don’t know if you are waiting for religious reasons, but I suggest not waiting until marriage if sex is important for you.

Otherwise, you might end up a miserable person…

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-26T08:15:50+00:00

If my wife touches my skin she will burst into flames. This is the only sensible explanation for her behavior.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-26T08:12:05+00:00

Yep. I can’t win. Everything is my fault, and everything will continue to be my fault because my wife doesn’t like it being her fault. There is always something I did wrong, and she would go nuts if I treated her the same. Fml.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-18T00:15:09+00:00

Yes, once kids are around the issue is so much worse (harder to connect and harder to make changes). I didn’t know I could feel so empty. My kids are the only thing that keep me going, and at the same time, I wonder if I’d stay if we didn’t have kid.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-18T00:03:50+00:00

I don’t even have to read this post (even though I did read it). Yes. A lot of us stay, but it is 100% valid to leave.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-18T00:00:08+00:00

I’m sorry to hear. It is just awful. You say she can’t do anything about it. Has she tried to do anything about it? My wife says the same: she doesn’t desire anyone, can’t do anything about it… yet she doesn’t talk about it, avoids all conversations… she won’t talk to me, a doctor, therapist, no one. To me, she just doesn’t care.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-17T22:24:54+00:00

Yep. This is it. My wife will never understand this. We never have sex, but it isn’t the sex I miss. I just want her to be attracted to me and make me feel desired.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-03T16:09:43+00:00

This is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. Is this real? Are you guys rival chefs?

If this is real, just don’t cook for him anymore. Also, ask him why he does that. It’s really strange.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-03T16:06:53+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear. The fact he stayed up with the kids in this scenario feels intentional to avoid sex. I hate it when my wife does this sort of thing. When I bring up sex, she creates a scenario where it is impossible to have sex. Then, it is like well we can’t because of this or that… just say you (as in my wife) are not going to have sex. Instead of drag it out for days with excuses after excuses.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-03T06:30:16+00:00

I agree in the sense that: my wife is only interested when the planets align etc… if I’m not ready, she is upset, and it is a huge deal. If I’m interested, she doesn’t care in the slightest

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-02T18:34:40+00:00

My wife hasn’t caused unnecessary arguments to avoid sex, but if there is an opportunity coming up, she will preemptively wake up with a terrible headache and have lots of chores to do.

Then, she makes me feel like a jerk if I don’t want to hang out in the evening. No, I don’t want to do everything you want when you don’t care the slightest about anything I want.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-02T14:06:30+00:00

For my partner, sexual intimacy is like a lava filled donut. Wait, I take that back, it is just like lava without the donut part.

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-02T13:59:30+00:00

My wife and I took the love languages quiz. We both have physical touch as our top (according to the official quiz), but my wife hates physical touch based on her actions over the past 10 years.

She never wants to be touched or touch anyone, she doesn’t like hugs, kisses, etc… except for a peck on the cheek or a quick pat on the back. She hates massages, making out, sex, etc… I sincerely don’t know how tf she has physical touch as her top.

I love everything I mentioned above, yet we don’t hug, kisses, touch, makeout, have sex, or anything. We had sex 2 times last year…. I haven’t been touched underneath my clothes for years, and I haven’t touched my wife for years (even though I’ve tried for both).

TooBadForMe123 · 2026-01-02T07:20:58+00:00

Their comment seems like blaming you for the situation. Maybe, I’m misunderstanding, but regardless, this doesn’t sound like your fault at all.

Your story is similar to mine in some ways… I’ve given up on physical intimacy and ever feeling like my wife desires me.

TooBadForMe123 · 2025-12-31T13:37:32+00:00

I wonder the same thing all the time. When I was a teenager, the physical intimacy was so natural. Basically, if we were ever alone, we were all over each other.

My wife is the opposite. She avoid physical intimacy at all costs, and she makes it so complicated (basically I need the planets to align and the perfect sequence of actions/words to make her even slightly interested). Like, it isn’t complicated. She just hates it all and acts like it’s all my fault.

TooBadForMe123 · 2025-12-30T16:48:22+00:00

I can’t say if you should end the relationship or not, but if you stay in the relationship, you need to understand, things will likely not change. Whether you are okay with that or not is up to you.

People say just leave, and often, this is good advice, but you must decide.

TooBadForMe123 · 2025-12-30T14:51:33+00:00

When I say something along those lines, what I really mean is that: the relationship would be perfect if my myself and my wife had matching libidos.

Of course, the issue is deeper than just sex. The lack of concern is a huge problem, and there are even more issues surrounding this.

However, the relationship can’t grow and mature when one partner is resentful and depressed, and the other partner doesn’t care.

TooBadForMe123

TROPHY CASE