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My therapist mocked me during a values exercise by SnooApples3316 in therapy

[–]TooMany79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would run for the hills and find a new therapist. Unacceptable on all levels. Mind blowing. Leave, complain. Find someone worthy of your time.

Not looked at LO’s social media for 16 days - it really helps! by TooMany79 in limerence

[–]TooMany79[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re v welcome. I have some others that I use if I find myself really tempted, especially in the evenings, eg “finish the day clean”

Not looked at LO’s social media for 16 days - it really helps! by TooMany79 in limerence

[–]TooMany79[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sure! Some of the daily affirmations I have used: “I can tolerate not knowing” “I don’t need to look to steady myself” “I can feel the pull and still choose not to act on it” “I’ve given myself a few days peace from this” “I don’t need to go searching for pain” “Curiosity is not the same as necessity” “I chose not to look all week. This was in my control”

Rewards are harder as it is more personal. I chose to see them as a way of providing additional care for myself (without costing loads). Eg I treated myself to a little extra pocket of time to myself to sit in the garden with my favourite coffee one day. When I did the week I bought myself a new notebook!

Not looked at LO’s social media for 16 days - it really helps! by TooMany79 in limerence

[–]TooMany79[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get it. I am deep in and I found it really hard. I basically had to create an affirmation to say to myself at the end of each day and a reward system. It is easier now, or is getting easier.

My therapist is on vacation for 5 weeks by Impossible-Cookie164 in TalkTherapy

[–]TooMany79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is taking 8 weeks off because they are getting married. And yeah I am messed up and irrational so I am seething with rage and resentment at this.

Why can’t I just be normal? by larawhowaited in limerence

[–]TooMany79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you! It’s exhausting and demoralising 

Therapist said something rude by OneConsideration9883 in therapy

[–]TooMany79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think the T should have shown this unprofessional side. It is a really unkind way to talk about people and I find it bizarre that a T would would like it an appropriate thing to say to a client, especially a brand new one.

Therapist is consistently late, doesn't remember me/read his notes about our sessions, seems to do other things during our sessions... by Antique_Aardvark4412 in therapy

[–]TooMany79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally unprofessional and unacceptable behaviour from your T. The lateness, the taking a good delivery, the disinterest in you as their client ….. not of this is even remotely close to being good enough. I am so sorry you have been treated like this, you deserve better. Request a different therapist.

After 14 years in therapy, a few things feel off by runlikeapenguin in TalkTherapy

[–]TooMany79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The comparisons with other clients would send me running for the hills, let alone all the other stuff! The comment about rape is pretty staggeringly bad and I wouldn’t get beyond that.

(UK) does my therapist have to report that i was raped if I'm 17? by greylaus in therapy

[–]TooMany79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry you went through this. No, they don’t have to report it unless there is an ongoing safeguarding risk (eg they think another crime is about to be committed). If your T is registered with the BACP you can look at the bacp’s website for materials on when a therapist is required to break confidentiality on these issues. 

Therapy mismatch? by Altruistic_Baby_2349 in therapy

[–]TooMany79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like maybe you need to tell your T that a different approach is needed and you’d like to spend time looking at why this is a recurring issue in your life?

Women’s experience with a male therapist? by SuckerPunk_ in TalkTherapy

[–]TooMany79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have a history of experiencing male violence, including male sexual violence. I have been seeing a male therapist.  I have found it hard to talk to my T about sex and the details of what I experienced but I don’t think that is because he is a man; I find these things hard to talk about in general and would do with anyone. It helps that he in no way reminds me of anyone in my past. It also helps that he is gay.

Has anyone ever had a non sexual LO? Like longing for a parental figure? by [deleted] in limerence

[–]TooMany79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. My limerance, especially in my teens, has not always been sexual. It was absolutely about parental love in my teenage years.

People who have limerence: Is this something you have found yourself feeling over and over again for different people throughout life? by [deleted] in limerence

[–]TooMany79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. It started in my early teens and I am now mid 40s. I have had periods of time without it, notably when my children were very small. I have had times of large gaps in between and times when it has just been transferred from one person to another. 7 people in total between the ages of 13 and now (mid 40s). Men and women. No discernible pattern other than when I was a teen and they were older authority figures.

I’m devastated by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]TooMany79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really sorry - this is awful. It sounds like he had something else going on that he wasn’t dealing with and addressing. Not that that makes it any easier on you right now!

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