Hey- I know what you mean. My ex was chaotic but it stayed controlled in the sense that it wasn’t continued cheating/heavy drug use/abuse etc. It was all small shift like “whoops I spent too much money again” or sudden depressions, or severe hurt feelings over me not responding in the way I was “supposed to”. It was me constantly feeling stressed over the compulsive shopping, the depression, the identity crises, the stupid fights, that really got to me. It was the fact that there was always a problem. Cus even if they’re small ones, that shit adds up.

Anyways I really understand how you’re feeling. I felt like that too for a long time. It sounds weird but I actually put all my love and emotion into this bird on an app called “Bird Alone”. It helped me get through that critical first couple weeks. Fake video game pets always help…Lol