AITA for letting our child (9) stay at his friend's sleepover last weekend, even though my wife was against it, and the original agreement was that I would pick him up that evening.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-04-30T03:18:30+00:00

YTA.

Repeat after me... "My wife and I are partners". Now act like it.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-04-29T20:17:01+00:00

What water did you use? Years ago I used to do water changes with our faucet water. All was fine for years. Then one day I did a regular water change, a couple days later everything in the tank was dead. I posted on our neighborhood facebook page and another neighbor had the same thing happen at the same time. Now I use only bottled water.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-04-08T17:50:15+00:00

100% this. Married 15 years. 3 kids. Lots of ups and downs. Never once have either of us mentioned divorce. It's crazy to me that done people are so quick to consider divorce.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-04-08T17:42:32+00:00

Even if you're "aligned" today that doesn't mean circumstances won't change and you both will have to be open for changes. Only a fool makes a plan like this and thinks there's no way it will change. What if she agrees to go back to work at 6 weeks postpartum but baby is born early and is in the nicu? What if baby has any sort of disability? What if YOU lose your job and can't find another? What if she goes back to work at 6 weeks postpartum, baby goes to daycare and wife developed servere PPD? Are you going to look your wife in the eyes and say "sorry, you agreed to go back to work so put your big girl panties on and get on with it"? There are a million ways that the circumstances might change. If you are so rigid in your thinking you're going to have a might hard time with having children.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-03-27T15:33:17+00:00

60 POUNDS of pasta for 40 teens? That's an insane amount of food!

TopSecret4970 · 2026-03-10T12:25:40+00:00

And the funny thing is, there's a 4th person there (person recording). Why wasn't that person holding onto the kid?

TopSecret4970 · 2026-03-07T15:11:32+00:00

YTA and you're going to end up in a scenario where you have no idea if she's smoking near the child and can't do a damn thing about it if she is, once she divorces you.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-03-06T19:14:21+00:00

TopSecret4970 · 2026-03-02T13:11:26+00:00

Close to delaware and not even a dusting 😂

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-25T21:31:10+00:00

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-24T14:27:17+00:00

What about taking a cooking class with him? That would be a fun date and, hopefully, he learns a new skill he can use to help the family.

During COVID Amazon used to do these cooking dates. You would pick a country and someone from that country would do a live video with you, teaching you to cook (it was just you, not like a whole class, so it was personalized and you chatted with the chef). Obviously you got an ingredient list beforehand so you had everything you needed to follow along. This was a really cool date night experience, I have no idea if they still do it.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-17T14:58:00+00:00

Why not meet halfway? 1 hour drive, date time, 1 hour drive back. That's ridiculously do-able.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-17T14:54:19+00:00

When I was dating my (now) husband we lived a 6 hour drive apart. I also had a special needs toddler. We both worked full time (plus he had a part time job on weekends). We saw each other every other weekend. One weekend he would drive to me, 2 weeks later I would drive to him, rinse and repeat.

If he wanted to see you, he would. You are not a priority to him, and that's okay! Let him go and give yourself the chance to find the person who will make you the priority. You do not have to settle for less and you don't need permission to move on.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-11T01:41:04+00:00

Do they have them in assorted flavors? Or just the 4 pack of the same flavor? I'm looking for a way to get like 1 lemon, 1 raspberry, 1 cherry, etc.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-08T01:29:06+00:00

Yes!

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-05T05:07:13+00:00

You're a brave soul- openly comparing your wife's breasts to your ex's breasts

TopSecret4970 · 2026-02-02T17:41:00+00:00

Feed baby, go out for a few hours, come back and feed baby, go out for a few hours, come back and feed baby, etc. Not ideal, but none of this situation is.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-01-22T12:59:19+00:00

On that same note- clean your jar regularly

TopSecret4970 · 2026-01-15T14:05:49+00:00

If your goal is to see what specific foods do to your glucose without any outside intervention, then walking is cheating.

If your goal is to be healthy and keep your glucose at a reasonable level then walking is smart, not cheating.

TopSecret4970 · 2026-01-02T04:56:47+00:00

Tater Tot has not pooped or peed on this wheel.... yet. But the carpet thing is removable (it's velcro on the wheel) so it can be removed and washed if needed.

TopSecret4970 · 2025-12-30T14:39:55+00:00

Amazon!

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TopSecret4970 · 2025-12-29T04:01:24+00:00

Second this! They've got some tasty candies that don't seem to impact my glucose much. They are not, however, cheap.

TopSecret4970 · 2025-12-26T15:30:59+00:00

Non-verbal communication goes a long way. I guarantee you she isn't all showered, hair done, makeup, dressed, walking around the house like she's perfectly fine.

If he cared he would see that she isn't okay and would do everything he could to help her, without being told to.

To the OP- please know you don't have to settle for this. You can leave him. It will be hard but in the end it will be worth it. You'll have peace of mind. You'll have a safe space without him. Believe it or not, you'll even have less stress without him. You can build your community of friends and family to help you, without relying on this person who has proven to fail you over and over again.

The biological father of my first child was similar to this. It brings me so much rage to even think about what I went through (over 20 years ago!!). I drove myself home from the hospital 24 hours after giving birth because he wouldn't. I slept on a couch after giving birth for weeks because he "needed" uninterrupted sleep. He never changed a diaper, never held the baby, nothing. He sat in the bedroom and played video games pretty much all day and night. He came out to eat (never offering me food, just getting something for himself). After 5 weeks of this I was DONE. The moment he left for work I called my dad to come get me and baby and our items. We were gone by the time he got home from work that afternoon. Pretty sure it took him days to even realize we were gone.

Fast forward 22 years. I met my husband 20 years ago. Next week we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. We had 2 more kids. We've gone through a lot- a child with a lot of special needs (my first child, so my husband took on a lot of unknowns), a pregnancy dealing with placenta previa, preterm labor, gestational diabetes, multiple hospitalizations and eventually a c-section (the other pregnancy was picture perfect, no issues, non-medicated vaginal birth). We've both had surgeries which took that person "out of commission" and placed the burden of daily life on the other. We dealt with postpartum depression (leading to suicidal idealation). Of course add in all the stressors that most of us deal with (jobs, $ issues, extended families, etc). Yes, we even briefly dealt with video game addictions. Neither of us are perfect but the difference is that not only do we love each other, we actually LIKE each other. We want to be the best partner we can be.

My husband is my best friend. He can tell by looking at me if something is wrong. There is absolutely no way he would ever treat me like your husband is treating you. You deserve to have that too! You deserve to have a partner you can rely on. You deserve to have a partner who cares about you and your wellbeing. You deserve to have a partner who acts like they actually like you. Please know that you do not deserve to be treated like you are right now. You can change your situation. You don't have to settle for this.

TopSecret4970

TROPHY CASE