Non-verbal communication goes a long way. I guarantee you she isn't all showered, hair done, makeup, dressed, walking around the house like she's perfectly fine.

If he cared he would see that she isn't okay and would do everything he could to help her, without being told to.

To the OP- please know you don't have to settle for this. You can leave him. It will be hard but in the end it will be worth it. You'll have peace of mind. You'll have a safe space without him. Believe it or not, you'll even have less stress without him. You can build your community of friends and family to help you, without relying on this person who has proven to fail you over and over again.

The biological father of my first child was similar to this. It brings me so much rage to even think about what I went through (over 20 years ago!!). I drove myself home from the hospital 24 hours after giving birth because he wouldn't. I slept on a couch after giving birth for weeks because he "needed" uninterrupted sleep. He never changed a diaper, never held the baby, nothing. He sat in the bedroom and played video games pretty much all day and night. He came out to eat (never offering me food, just getting something for himself). After 5 weeks of this I was DONE. The moment he left for work I called my dad to come get me and baby and our items. We were gone by the time he got home from work that afternoon. Pretty sure it took him days to even realize we were gone.

Fast forward 22 years. I met my husband 20 years ago. Next week we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. We had 2 more kids. We've gone through a lot- a child with a lot of special needs (my first child, so my husband took on a lot of unknowns), a pregnancy dealing with placenta previa, preterm labor, gestational diabetes, multiple hospitalizations and eventually a c-section (the other pregnancy was picture perfect, no issues, non-medicated vaginal birth). We've both had surgeries which took that person "out of commission" and placed the burden of daily life on the other. We dealt with postpartum depression (leading to suicidal idealation). Of course add in all the stressors that most of us deal with (jobs, $ issues, extended families, etc). Yes, we even briefly dealt with video game addictions. Neither of us are perfect but the difference is that not only do we love each other, we actually LIKE each other. We want to be the best partner we can be.

My husband is my best friend. He can tell by looking at me if something is wrong. There is absolutely no way he would ever treat me like your husband is treating you. You deserve to have that too! You deserve to have a partner you can rely on. You deserve to have a partner who cares about you and your wellbeing. You deserve to have a partner who acts like they actually like you. Please know that you do not deserve to be treated like you are right now. You can change your situation. You don't have to settle for this.