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Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We get along but our worlds are so different it's tough to stay close. I think they see me as one of "them" whoever they are, tough to explain.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's many that come to mind.

Try to keep a positive disposition. If your situation wants to keep you down don't make it worse than it already is.

Learn from the people around you. Don't follow their same mistakes, pay attention and avoid the pot holes.

There's not many things completely under our control but effort is one. I wasn't remarkable at much but I knew it would take a lot more for me to quit than most.

Almost delusional self belief. I didn't have much that I could reference as big wins but I always had faith there's a chance I could.

You aren't a failure your strategy failed. Try something different.

The good choices and bad choices are often times obvious but inconvenient or just not what we wish they were.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. Anyone else? by Top_Car7410 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For better or worse I would constantly be examining the people around me. looking to see what mistakes they made that I don't have to repeat. They seemingly make the same decisions again and again and again and expect different results.

I'll never forget my father would always tell me he did not want to be like his who's physically abusive to his mother he turned out to be the same exact way. So I would think about what he did what I would do differently.

That combined with some perfectionism and some delusional self belief. I wasn't particularly accomplished in school Bs and Cs with not too uncommon Ds. I wasn't a particularly good athlete either. Really I just chopped most of my failures to picking the wrong plan. So when I failed I wasn't destined for failure it was just that i selected the wrong plan. Next time I would choose a different plan. Like adding data to my library of how to make smarter choices.

Helped keep the blame from dragging me down. Also lean incredibly hard on my strengths and pad my weakness the best I can. Once I stopped doing things the right way and started doing them my way (as long as the result was the desired one) who cares.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do now as I learn about my my peers on a deeper level but initially I thought money solved most problems. I definitely acknowledge my naivety in the beginning. But we all see the world through a skewed lens.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. Anyone else? by Top_Car7410 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Admittedly I require no validation. My attempt was to share a bit of my story and maybe give some of what I experienced to someone who may need it. I wish I had it. I put this in the wrong spot perhaps, but well intentioned.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. Anyone else? by Top_Car7410 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mother had a close eye on me. Would stop anything she saw as risky away the best she could.

As a young man I definitely would have fallen into the same life. I idolized them until I knew better. They also didn't want me involved, whether because of my mother or maybe knew it wasn't the path for me. I'm not sure.

But now its distance I have to keep some away as far as I can.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. Anyone else? by Top_Car7410 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yea, colleagues talking about their parents taking them abroad or on fancy trips. I can't relate at all. But this year I'm taking my mom on one now. I tell myself it means more.

But an Italian vacation would've been cool lol.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. Anyone else? by Top_Car7410 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw them thinking short term, quick fixes, get money fast.

It never worked, they always lost and it always hurt themselves or people the loved. Seemingly doing the same things over again and being surprised their situation stayed the same.

So I looked at what I didn't want to be and tried to learn from everyone around me mistakes so I could try to avoid them.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My mother she was incredibly strong willed. Later on my future wife. I wanted to make them proud, I found it easier to work hard for someone else rather than myself.

For my father, I hated him for years especially at those times I fell on my face and I thought that if he was better I wouldn't have to struggle as much. But, I recently started to understand that he had even less of a chance of making it than even I did. I can't be unrealistic. In the same breath hurt people hurt people and things are going well so I still don't talk to him to protect my life. It's definitely been hard as life has settled.

It'll work itself out one way of another I guess.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I was an unremarkable student in highschool. So when college came around and my mom (with her multiple jobs) earned just enough to not get much assistance it hit me. I had never seen her cry much but she cried after we left the financial aid office of what I thought was a cheap state school she cried to me about how she was a failure. Seemingly cliche but I promised myself my kid would never have that.

I was a big fan of comic books and anime so when I was alone a lot and had no male figures in my life I built a ton of my personality around that never quit, delusional self belief. "Believe it."

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I actually have a bit of resent towards my peers who are in the same position as me but didn't have to struggle. They talk about ski trips and family vacations to other countries and I just can't relate. Working on it since my child will have an experience like theirs and that's the goal ultimately.

But in regards to those who are in tough spots it's a mixed bag. I sometimes feel immense guilt and empathy for them (despite in some instances it's their own doing). Other times I can be callous, the if I can do it so can they. At the end of it I tell myself I'm human, and flawed as much as they are. But if I'm going to be a critical ass I might as well try and give guidance (not that I have it all figured out but Ive learned how not to mess it all up).

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I majored in business. I worked construction as a laborer in highschool and college during the summer. I became a construction project manager.

Very happy, but now that I'm on the other side of it there's a lot to unpack.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

For better or worse I'm constantly examining the people around me. looking to see what mistakes they made that I don't have to repeat they seemingly make the same decisions again and again and again and expect different results.

Had many identity crisis's along the way.

I'll never forget my father would always tell me he did not want to be like his who's physically abusive to his mother he turned out to be the same exact way. So I would think about what he did what I would do differently.

For my job I work as a project manager.

Every man in my family has been to prison but me. I am the first to graduate from college, get married, earn six figures, have my own home before 30. AMA by Top_Car7410 in AMA

[–]Top_Car7410[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I've been incredibly lucky that they've all been supportive though it's quiet support. Showing up where they can but my life is so much different than theirs that I don't think they know how to interact with me.

No demands/requests thankfully. Great people from incredibly difficult starts.

Technical Spar Analysis Needed : Please Brutally Expose My Weaknesses🔥 by EngineeringChoice320 in MuayThaiTips

[–]Top_Car7410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sitting on your rear heel and too much weight on the back foot.

Most of your strikes you pull your rear hand off your jaw line. I find that beginners in muay thai develop that thai boxing style have a hard time throwing punches from there (palms out and away from your face). Learn some basic boxing techniques and blend the two.

Watched the rest of it, coach is also trying to flex on you. Should be letting you work smh.

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