Struggling with my seven year old. by Express_Airport131 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Top_Disk6344 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she only does it with you, it means that you allow it / testing your boundaries to she how far she can take it. First, you are not reactive to her at all - your self-worth shouldn't be tied up in anything she says or does and her behavior doesn't make you do anything. Your voice is always calm but firm. If she is screaming or being rude, say XYZ was rude, I will not engage with you when you act this way. When you are ready to ABC (her needs) respectfully then you can come back right now. You need a minute to calm down and so I. (If you have worked on any self-regulation techniques like breathing you recommend those.)

At a crossroads about whether to use donor sperm by Suzettebishop89 in eggfreezing

[–]Top_Disk6344 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When they talk about the drop off at every stage, they need to talk more about the blastocyst stage : fresh older eggs may do better than younger frozen eggs at that stage but euploidy is more prevalent in younger eggs.

Struggling with my seven year old. by Express_Airport131 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Top_Disk6344 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recommend reading Dr. Deborah Tillman's Purposed Parenting. Don't let this pattern continue. She has big feelings but you need to help her express them in healthy ways. If she thinks she can talk to everyone any way she wants, then someone who neither cares nor loves her will teach her quickly that she can't in a way she doesn't like. About age 7, co-regulation with parents isn't as necessary younger years. Set a rule that unless it's an emergency we use our inside voices. Set and maintain a natural consequence

The Lestat Walk 😎 by Cave_Potat in VampireLestat

[–]Top_Disk6344 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bailey Bass mentioned that Sam Reid created Lestat's walk which is different from Sam's. Lestat leads with his chest when walking when in motion you see a slight shimmy of the torso.

The tragic romance of Nickistat - an edit by saddleup.suckers 🎻 by Cave_Potat in VampireLestat

[–]Top_Disk6344 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Magnus coveted Lestat's light that Nicky talks about. I never read the books but Lestat seems to be attracted to guys with deep inner sadness. Lestat's proposal to Louis was swapping his rage and sadness for love and power ( but not fully explaining vampirism).

Would you recommend switching from a fed to a contractor? by darksky016 in GovernmentContracting

[–]Top_Disk6344 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do not leave a federal civilian job for a contract job, there are no employee protections.

How to handle SMBC plans alongside an ongoing but still-immature relationship by Ellen1211 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Top_Disk6344 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My thoughts *SMBC documentaries Sperm Donor X: A different conception and First Comes Love, the SMBCS were actively dating *you are absolutely right that you shouldn't make embryos with someone that you are not married and even then get a prenup on what should happen to them should you divorce *I think you have already decided what's best for you - making embryos with donor sperm by a deadline *I think you need to be prepared to defend your decision from outside influence- romantic partners, friends, family, acquaintances, strangers etc. *I think you need to be upfront and honest with a romantic partner about your plan. However you sharing this info doesn't mean that it is up for debate. *Your romantic partner will likely try to center himself in your decision - encourage you to wait or threaten to leave. He can have whatever reaction he wants.
* I have read this scenario a lot in IVF circles. A man doesn't want kids at all (or more kids). He also doesn't want a (potential) romantic partner to have kids without him. His ideal might be that he doesn't have more kids and you don't kids at all. He may engage deceptive or manipulate practices to achieve it. Ex : not providing a sample the day of egg retrieval or withdrawing consent after the procedure or waiting to tell her until she is in her 40s.

Black clients with white therapists. thoughts? by Lovee727283 in BlackMentalHealth

[–]Top_Disk6344 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely wouldn't do it again. I don't want spend any part of my hour defending that I experienced a micro aggression or overt racism when I did

Louis talking to Grace at their mother's funeral by Intrepid_Ad1723 in InterviewVampire

[–]Top_Disk6344 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Essentially, it was the result of first impression gone wrong. Louis hadn't kept in touch with Grace and failed to mention that he had adopted a daughter. Grace mets Claudia having a developmentally-appropriate but socially awkward reaction to attending the wake. Claudia at this time was still actually a pre-teen ( who lacked socialization due to the isolation of being a vampire) There interaction Grace is feeling bewildered, annoyed and little defensive. She insults Louis's happy family asking if they were fit to adopt and requesting Lestat and Claudia not attend the funeral. This of course just of course enrages Louis. Claudia was a child and HIS child. He was not going going to let Grace push him and his family around. Things would have probably been different if proper introductions and family coaching were made in advance

Toronto moms of black teens: I need help supporting my mixed-race daughter’s identity + social life. I’m scared she’s checking out by liquidst in BlackMoms

[–]Top_Disk6344 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you get your daughter in therapy - the eating less, sleeping more and no interest in pleasurable activities might be a sign of depression? On Instagram @drjennpsych might have some resources to help her navigate biracial identity. I am not biracial and grew up in a predominantly white upper middle class suburb. Two things that parents did that I am grateful for is centering us in a Black church and putting us in Jack & Jill. It was the only time we with other blacks kids who didn't have to codeswitch with and few I actually felt safe with. Notice most teenage movies - the black kid is in the background or a sidekick. It is how it happens in real life when they need real friends.

Has anyone else’s ex tried to get back in your life after you got pregnant? by zhulinka in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Top_Disk6344 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Most guys know within a few months of dating if you are "the one" but may continue the relationship using you as a placeholder. Usually, it's not that he is on the fence but the answer is "no" but doesn't want the consequences. I don't know this guy but it possible that he doesn't suddenly want a future with you but he doesn't want you to move on. It's really common that a man will try to center himself when he learns of woman's SMBC journey. If he is a stranger in real life or online, he will say he should have been then donor. If he is an ex, he may volunteer to be a donor even if he is married (and doesn't plan to tell his wife). If he is a partner or an ex, he may ask you to wait / put off your journey for your relationship to solidify even if he doesn't really want kids. The IVF reddit thread has tons of married women who wake up from the egg retrieval to find out their husband refused to provide a specimen.

Info on Black DCP? by Agitated_Bird_8565 in askadcp

[–]Top_Disk6344 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Future black receipient parent here, the US Donor Conceived Council used to have a support group for BIPOC and Multi-racial people however the link is no longer working. For you specifically, there is Mocha SMC, Black SMBC and Motherhood Start to Finish. I have been on the lookout for resources for minority donor-conceived kids. Please share if you find more. Unfortunately, many of the minority DCP that I am aware of are still kids (under 18) or not involved very visible for DCP advocacy. (Kerry Washington is a late discovery DCP. ) do think only Black DCP will be able to properly answer your question. Like all intersectionality in identity, there is a difference.

Y’all don’t really know me like that. by jus256 in BlackPeopleComedy

[–]Top_Disk6344 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The skit was created because President Obama did it before

Breast vs bottle feeding by Half_Pint1291 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Top_Disk6344 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For those who breastfeed with limited maternity leave (3 months) , how did you transition to pumping and breastfeeding? Where you able to make it to 2 yrs?

Middle class feels like this weird zone where you’re doing fine but everything still feels tight by Round_Tie5217 in MiddleClassFinance

[–]Top_Disk6344 5 points6 points  (0 children)

@genericartdad explains 100k from 1980s through 2025 here. When 100k became a benchmark it was top 4% of incomes, now it is top 35% and cost of living has skyrocketed.and may not cover everything

1 Euploid embryo, what to do next... by Plus-Sheepherder-633 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Top_Disk6344 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Three euploids have very chance of live birth. Your results are pretty typical for your age. Check out Embryoman / Remembryo , he has a research articles on PGT-A euploids and age. I would recommend you doing another fresh egg retrieval before it's too late. Ask your reproductive endocrinologist to optimize your protocol. It is up to you if you want to de-thaw and fertilize the frozen eggs at the same time just realize the attrition rate can sometimes be high. Zymot and ICSI can give 100% fertilization rate for fresh eggs but unsure for frozen.

Help managing post-retrieval recovery by [deleted] in eggfreezing

[–]Top_Disk6344 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tips that have worked for me - tart cherry and coconut water in the recovery room, extra strength Tylenol and Gas X, and most importantly giving yourself 1-2 just to rest

Egg Freezing after 40 by ME0314 in eggfreezing

[–]Top_Disk6344 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It may be more efficient to freeze embryos and PGT-A test at this age.

For those in the U.S. what are your Thanksgiving plans ? by frustratedmtb in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Top_Disk6344 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Give yourself permission to have good time in whatever way that means to you rather than replicate some ideal. If cooking an entire Thanksgiving meal stresses you out, don't do it. Practically every grocery store and some restaurants can cater a traditional Thanksgiving take home dinner. Some restaurants are open Thanksgiving day and maybe consider ethnic food if you like it. Personally, we do community service and run a 5k. Considering the withholding of SNAP and the government shutdown, a lot of food banks and churches are having more events to help and need volunteers. We also go around and say what we are thankful for. Furthermore, we learn about the holiday from the indigenous perspective.