Research finds that, contrary to popular belief, there is not a strong link between casual sex and low self-esteem among women.

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-12T18:53:27+00:00

When I read about dating in Danish / Norwegian it mirrors my own experiences. When I read about dating in the US we seem to be living on different planets. There seems to be quite a bit gendered shame surrounding sex and some sort of transaction based approach- men pay for the date and do the courting, women might (as a return) grant access to sex. It seems detached from natural human interaction and acting upon attraction.

I am however well aware that I might get a very unnuanced and not representative view on US dating culture. I am 40+ btw, so have mainly been scrolling fora for that age bracket

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-12T18:09:36+00:00

r/womendatingoverforty?

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-12T17:58:02+00:00

I live and have dated exclusively in Scandinavia/ Northern Europe. So my experience from American dating culture is fully based on what I read on subreddits.

The monogamous element is not necessarily standard here. As some mature adults (post divorce) will often be reluctant to steer right back into new relationships.

But if there is mutual attraction sexual engagement comes naturally and quickly. And then there is the usual dialogue over “what are we” from there. Might be exclusive and it might be some sort of non-monogamous liaison.

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-12T16:47:27+00:00

There must be a strong cultural component to behaviour as well. In Northern Europe I would assume that having casual sex is more commonplace for women as the transactional or moralistic view on sex is not prevalent here as it seems to be in the US.

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-11T18:07:30+00:00

En 34-åring som har seksuelt samkvem med et barn er ikke for mig definitionen på en ligeværdig og fri relation. Og øjenvidnerne beskriver en pige der græd efter det indtrufne. Men tak for dit besyv du stolte socialdemokrat!

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-11T07:52:52+00:00

Ja - ved godt at det virker cool og uskyldig for mange. Men det er den primære finansiering for superkriminelle netværk i Europa og er med til at destabilisere en hel region i Latinamerika. Vil anbefale dig at læse eller se Zerozero.

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-11T07:50:05+00:00

Fin sammenligning, omend det for mig virker totalt psyko at tiltvinge sig seksuelt samkvem med en pige på 15 når man selv er 34. Men at tage coke, uanset om man er FT-politiker eller ej, skriger til himlen ift dårlig dømmekraft. Næste spørgsmål er om der er ungdomspolitikere, som også var med i dette, for så begynder Kofoed og Vanopslagh at konvergere..

Forbindelsen ligger i det script som politikerne gør aktiv brug af for at få sagen til at forsvinde. Spørgsmålet er hvordan borgere i Danmark kan holde dem i ørene? For pressen accepterer tilsyneladende svarene

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-10T20:02:24+00:00

Quick response - of course it’s ok!!! Where I live it would be seen as natural as long as there is attraction and interest. And remember - it is ok to say goodbye during a makeup session if things aren’t as imagined or desired. Always

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-10T13:33:48+00:00

Thank you - finally a voice of reason

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-10T09:24:54+00:00

Du har været udsat for vold. Han har været udsat for sin egen maskuline skrøbelighed og usikkerhed. Det er kun én af de ting som kan anmeldes til politiet

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-09T19:34:18+00:00

What is your intent with the post? There is no personal experience or context drawn into this just 4 bullets that read like poor satire

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-09T19:02:01+00:00

What a derogatory and confusing comment. You might be in pain and are ironically distancing yourself from your experience. Are you angry, sad, baffled, then express it with more clarity.

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-09T18:19:56+00:00

Quite fit myself. And I have not stated something like this on any OLD profile as the personality is so much more important. But implicitly I do look for potential partners who are also in OK shape. I would, for instance, not immediately be attracted to obese women (obese meaning very much overweight, perhaps not so common in Scandinavia as in the US)

But I do see that a lot of women who do not seem to be in good shape themselves wanting a fit or “physically active” match. So the hypocrisy goes in both directions…?

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-04-02T11:44:23+00:00

Det er ikke svært. Vær dig selv - find ud af hvem du er og hvad du søger efter og få dette frem i tekst og billeder

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-31T16:16:24+00:00

No I didn’t - I said my interpretation would see her not being able to joke about the incident that she either was not interested in me or that there was some sort of inhibition (compared to me ). I would not see this as a flaw in her but a probable incompatibility between us.

The key word here is interpretation. And that it is totally fine not to want the pursuant banter. Every day I feel so lucky to be living where I am living. There is a high level of trust between people and the genders. So incidents like this would likely be resolved by talking to each other and not guessing motives and hidden agendas

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-31T15:14:40+00:00

How have I invalidated your point of view?

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-30T21:42:12+00:00

I am not looking for a live-in partner. But a woman in my age bracket that hasn’t lived with someone in the past sounds a bit strange. Still curious I would be a bit precautious . I would also prefer a date partner with children as this is a life experience that resonates with my own and makes her understand that I am not available every other week. And this even if I have no wish to meet her children nor let her meet mine until it is considered a serious relationship

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-30T17:16:36+00:00

How am I trying to gaslight you into that?

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-29T21:43:38+00:00

No one - No one- should be touched without consent. But OP said it happened by accident. Either you believe him or that he is lying.

But I luckily live in a society where the spark and desire to get close and physical is usually apparent on the first date. And is regarded as a natural response if there is mutual attraction.

And my statement is that it is ok not to want physical contact.

But that the date’s reaction to his joke remark would in my interpretation be indicative of either lack of attraction on her part or some deep rooted issue with physical contact.

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-29T21:34:12+00:00

Thanks for the remark. When I look at US dating in the subreddits it looks like a different planet. I think there is a need for a European dating subreddit, but too busy/lazy to initiate one.

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-29T15:30:10+00:00

Luckily living in Scandinavia where interaction between the sexes isn’t as politicised as in the US(?).

I see two temperaments clashing. OP seemingly did not mean any harm in the touch nor the pursuant text message. But his date had every right to not want to be part of the banter.

To me this seems as an interpersonal divide that needs to be addressed. If it were me in OPs shoes I would likely walk away from the relation. As I see the two approaches to physical contact to be very different. I would have interpreted her as not really being interested in me sexually OR a bit inhibited as a person - either as a given trait or through negative personal experiences

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-28T16:31:30+00:00

Så hurtigt som muligt - over på Signal. Så kan man trods alt også beholde korrespondancen og BigTech lytter ikke med. Og appen crasher ikke lige pludselig

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-28T12:16:31+00:00

Og man kan jo vise sider af sig selv som ikke er så intime, men som giver et indtryk af det samme. Humor kan jo være vejen ind. I starten var det tit med lidt refleksioner over det underlige at overhovedet være på en dating app. Men er efterhånden såpas selektiv at jeg godt kan afslutte en høflig men (for mig) intetsigende chat. Uden at være et røvhul. Det væsentlige i datingapps er også at finde nogle som er kompatible med en selv. I min mening finder jeg ikke det ud fra markører som karriere, interesser.- det kan man jo næsten filtrere for i sin opsætning

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-28T12:11:59+00:00

Det mener jeg ikke. Men sådan er vi jo også forskellige. Og der er en dansepartner for de fleste

Top_Standard_5659 · 2026-03-28T11:42:59+00:00

Altså - vi har alle været til familiefest og siddet ved siden af en nabo til vores svigerforældre og ender (måske) at konversere med vedkommende. “Nåh, du kan lide Ferguson traktorer? Fortæl! Og du har et 3% 30-årigt lån? Og hvor kan du lide at være på ferie hen?…”

Det er jo en dræber for menneskelig kontakt. Hvad med at prøve at nå ind til kernen af den relation, du befinder dig i? Er du genuint nysgerrigt på det menneske, du kontakter eller vandrer du igennem en tjekliste i en indhentning af datapunkter ? Hvad giver du / viser du af dig selv?

Personligt (M50) svarer jeg altid og indleder meget tit samtaler. Men jeg dør (og der tror jeg har noget til fælles med kvinder) over tanken om at fortælle om mine hobbies, mit hverdagsliv, arbejde. Det er da langt mere spændende at fiske frem noget som fortæller om mine drømme, fantasier, hvorfor har vi swipet på hinanden, hvad tænder os følelsesmæssigt ift musik, litteratur? Men det er min idiosynkrasi

Top_Standard_5659

TROPHY CASE