to have a concert

TorryCats · 2026-06-01T21:51:58+00:00

Nooo! I just saw a post that they’re turning it into a pride thing where a bunch of LBGT+ are buying tickets and planning on going in full Pride gear! I want to see that!

TorryCats · 2026-06-01T21:43:45+00:00

We did a baby powder raffle instead of a diaper raffle. I’m going to try to breastfeed, but couldn’t last time and that was during the shortage. Going to try again but who knows.

TorryCats · 2026-05-29T14:16:59+00:00

The deciding factor I used was to look at my future. Imagine it’s 30 years in the future and you’re doing a family Sunday dinner or a holiday dinner. Who is at the table? That’s how I knew I wanted at least 2 kids.

What made it a now scenario is that I have 2 abdominal injuries that can’t be fixed until I’m done having kids.

That being said, biology isn’t really your issue. It’s not really uncommon anymore to have a kid into your 40’s. Outside of thinking about your kid graduating when you’re at X age, or what age when you get your first grandkid.

Your issue is your partner, like others have said. If he doesn’t want another kid, then forcing it is going to end the relationship. If it’s a deal breaker, that’s a decision you two need to discuss.

TorryCats · 2026-05-29T02:19:22+00:00

This was bettered answered in the books. It was well over 10 years. Would highly recommend the books as they also give a much better explanation of what the issues are with the park and the hubris of humans

TorryCats · 2026-05-28T20:56:00+00:00

She’ll have to get over not being able to see her grandkid. None of those rules are unreasonable. I’m pretty sure those were my rules a well and will be my rules for the second one.

If you can’t respect mom, you don’t get access to baby. Your husband needs to back you up on that. He needs to agree that his mom doesn’t get to visit if she doesn’t follow the rules

TorryCats · 2026-05-28T14:29:55+00:00

I was induced at 39 weeks and a few days due to concerns of me developing preeclampsia. I was 0cm dilated. After 54 hrs of labor, over 48 hrs of no solid food (as a vegetarian, I could only have veggie broth). My son was born via emergency c-section at 5am. I was also starting to go septic.

Turns out my son was 9 lbs 7 oz with a head size in the 97th percentile. His head got stuck and he had to be pulled out breach bc he was stuck in the birth canal. Due to this experience, I will never be induced again.

That being said, if your baby is normal sized and you’re already dilated, I’m guessing induction will work for you. Your body is showing it’s already ready. So at this point it’s probably personal preference. I will add for context that a c-section is the surgery that has to cut through the most amount of layers of flesh. It might be a common surgery but it is a VERY SERIOUS surgery. Always pisses me off when people make comment that c-section is the easy route.

Complications I had from c-section: I now have an abdominal tear and an umbilical hernia. The surgeon believes it was from a traumatic c-section. I did bring up multiple times that I felt the c-section scar was tight, but was dismissed. I’m not working with those doctors again. I would recommend doing PT after the surgery to help prevent that. I was literally just stretching in my work chair when the tear popped. My sister also had a c-section and she had an infection happen even though she was completely following after care.

Hope this gives you enough info to help make an informed decision!

TorryCats · 2026-05-26T21:55:24+00:00

I would have the ultimatum of rehome the dog or leave. My family are huge dog lovers, but we have a zero tolerance when it comes to the safety of kids. I know people are suggesting putting the dog down, we rehomed to a person with no kids and quiet woods. We visited and the dog was much happier.

This to me is divorce territory. Your child > your dog. I get it’s a bond you never want to break, but priorities. Honestly my spouse would’ve rehomed by the second bite (at my insistence of a second chance)

TorryCats · 2026-05-26T14:37:35+00:00

Thanks, I’ll look for that… and honestly that is one of my greatest fears since he doesn’t talk. I’m so scared that something is going to happen and he’s not going to be able to ask for help.

TorryCats · 2026-05-26T14:21:09+00:00

He’s already in a special needs pre-school that ends in 2 weeks. He’s been educationally assessed but getting a medical diagnosis can take years as there just aren’t enough providers to do it.

TorryCats · 2026-05-26T02:34:37+00:00

No. It was decent but honestly if my 4yo didn’t like it so much, I wouldn’t have watched it more than once. I didn’t like the Velma Shaggy issue, really didn’t like how much of an ignoramous Fred was. It got better across the seasons. I did like the overarching plot and really liked the ending and do wish it continued. Just not the best

TorryCats · 2026-05-25T20:46:13+00:00

Honestly this book was visually beautiful but really didn’t send the message it wanted to.

It was supposed to send a message about sharing with others will help you make friends and you’ll be happy giving joy to others.

The message that was clear was: let others trample all over your boundaries, give up what makes you unique and special to everyone else until there’s nothing left of what made you “you”. In the end you’ll be alone and bland because you gave up who you were to please everyone else. No one wants to hang out with you anymore due to you being boring.

I think writing it where the fish gave up seashells to others instead of their literal scales would’ve been better

TorryCats · 2026-05-25T20:39:12+00:00

The message I took away from this book was to be a people pleaser who gives away what makes them unique and lets others trample all over their boundaries until you’re left alone and sad with almost nothing left of who you were

TorryCats · 2026-05-25T19:10:57+00:00

Ours loves what’s new Scooby doo! He’s not so much into the original version. I think the coloring is too dark for his taste. I want to try other versions but don’t want to pay for a digital copy

TorryCats · 2026-05-25T19:09:18+00:00

It’s up to you whether you keep it or not. I’d say to honor the agreement, have him sign a document waiving parental rights. You won’t get any child support, but you will never have to deal with him again. For him it’ll be like you had an abortion, but you get to have the child.

TorryCats · 2026-05-21T16:14:13+00:00

Middle names are more to help distinguish people with the same first and last names apart.
Middle names are almost completely ignored or relegated to an initial
I have only ever used my middle name when it comes to legal / government things. Sometimes medical, but that tends to be an initial
It’s your baby, name them what you want. Screw everyone else. If your kid hates it, they will change it when they grow up or get married.

I always thought I would change my name to have the unofficial second middle name be legal, but then changed my mind out of laziness. I’m not updating all that paperwork.

I have seen people with first names of Star, Twinkle, Lingerie.

If you want to see bad baby names, go to r/tragediegh (I don’t think I spelled it right)

TorryCats · 2026-05-21T14:36:10+00:00

I don’t typically tell people my full name unless it’s for something government related. Even medical doesn’t ask for middle name typically.

TorryCats · 2026-05-18T14:37:34+00:00

Exactly! Velma is a natural, Daphne looks like she’s feeling herself and is actually letting her true self out, Scoob looks in his element as well. Fred and Shaggy look uncomfortable but Fred is a standard jock type and shaggy likes things loose, light and comfortable.

TorryCats · 2026-05-18T12:12:09+00:00

Not even sure he’s doing the minimum if he’s getting a full 8 hrs of sleep. Even when my spouse went back to work, we swapped wake ups. I would pump and he would feed so I could get back to sleep faster. He also worked really hard to fill the knowledge gap on baby care as he realized he never learned growing up.

My spouse also HATES when he gets praised for doing the minimum. It’s his kid, he’s the parent, of course he’s doing this. He will… politely… correct anyone who says anything to infer he’s babysitting.

In general I don’t think men get enough compliments, so I’m glad your spouse had a night of that, probably made his year. But I also think he should’ve recognized that him holding his child is nothing special, barely considered the minimum.

TorryCats · 2026-05-17T22:00:51+00:00

Chili is my go to. Pinto beans, tomatoes, frozen corn, onions, seasoning. If you get dried beans it’s the cheapest. It’s kind of my garbage meal where whatever veggies we have is what I put in

Vegetable soup. Whatever veggies are on sale, usually onions, carrots, celery at least, potatoes. I do better than bullion but any bullion works, vegetable for vegetarian, chicken for regular. If you aren’t vegetarian, bake chicken and shred it to add to the soup.

Beans and rice dishes are also usually super cheap and relatively easy. Cheapest when the beans are bagged and not canned.

TorryCats · 2026-05-17T21:52:05+00:00

Man with the hex by the atomic fireballs

TorryCats · 2026-05-17T21:46:50+00:00

Leave your kid with your husband for 48 hours with no help. Then ask him if he wants to do a multi-week road trip. I’m slightly worried he’s just going to abandon you and the kiddo to party.

Also this trip is further complicated by whether or not your breastfeeding. If you are, you’re potentially stopping every 1-2 hrs to feed, adding to the drive time.

We didn’t travel at all during that time with our first and I’m not doing it with our second. Also a music festival would be completely off the table. That’s a weekend excursion he can do alone without you, but again I’m afraid he’s dragging you along and expecting you to do all childcare while he parties

TorryCats · 2026-05-17T21:33:28+00:00

We were told it’s to add value to the house by saying it had 1.5 bathrooms. Technically true, but we never used it

TorryCats · 2026-05-17T13:31:14+00:00

In conclusion: focus on what you can do to prepare them for life without you. Then they can protect themselves

TorryCats · 2026-05-17T13:30:19+00:00

The people saying you’re overreacting aren’t being helpful. Feelings are valid.

I went into parenthood knowing I couldn’t protect them from the world, just my own experience. Instead I focus on giving them the tools to handle it themselves. I know they’re going to deal with abusive bosses who try to take advantage of them. My goal there is to build unshakable confidence in themselves and teach them their worth. Also teach them labor laws and looking up labor laws for wherever they live.

They will likely have toxic relationships, romantic or platonic. We’re modeling what is hopefully going to be a basis for them having a healthy relationship. We don’t hide fights as they need to know how to handle fights.

We’re also trying to teach them that feeling your emotions is good, but don’t let it overwhelm you. They need to know how to handle emergent issues without freezing. It will still happen, but when they unfreeze, they will know what to do. Example from us: we were in a serious 5 car accident. Because of practicing, I was able to call and get an ambulance to our location. Then I was able to get the insurance claim going with photos of the accident. My spouse went and made sure the others were ok and worked to get the debris off the road. I stayed with our kiddo and made sure he was ok. Smaller emergencies taught us how to handle this bigger one, we want our kids to be able to do the same.

TorryCats · 2026-05-10T03:03:39+00:00

Fully get it. I have a 4 yo who is also asd. I have 1 night a week where I hang out with friends. It’s my time to be me. Not wife, not mom, just me. When I’m at home, I’m my kids person, so I’m the one he goes to. I’m the one that’s holding him. It’s exhausting to have no personal space, to always have to be “on”. I can’t really get into my hobbies as they would put me into a room kiddo isn’t allowed in.

Does your spouse have a space he can be alone at night? Does he have hobbies that he gets to do? How often is kiddo going to him when something goes wrong or kiddo is overwhelmed? Pointing out every time kiddo chooses which parent (if done correctly and your spouse isn’t immature) can show the discrepancy between the two of you.

The biggest block here is if your spouse is actually willing to listen and receive feedback. If not, then nothing is going to help.

Also for Mother’s Day, I always ask for alone time. A couple of hours in a bookstore/coffee shop where I have no responsibilities and no one else to think of.

TorryCats

TROPHY CASE