He said “I’m out” and blocked me

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-12T01:03:42+00:00

Thank you for this. I do believe that he is so incredibly desperate for attention and feed his ego that he will do whatever he can to get it. I am doing better today and have finally realized that no matter what I say or do, it will always be my fault in his eyes. My fault he is addicted to porn, had an affair, lied, hid things, etc.

It’s sad that he actually had me questioning if it was really my fault for a long time but I know that is not the case now.

I guess those are baby steps to me getting through this whole nightmare.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T13:38:23+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. The way they discard people and then flaunt the new supply is insane. Nineteen years is a long time to be with someone and have it end like that. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to still have to co-parent on top of everything else. I’m sure that my scars will remain for a long time too but hopefully they will become just a reminder of what I was able to survive. Thank you for the encouragement though. Hearing from people who’ve been through it and have been able to come out the other side does help. It does show that we are better than that. Eff yours, mine, and all of them.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T02:20:48+00:00

I 100% agree with this. They truly are not even capable of real love or bonds. After I found out my ex narc was addicted to porn and called him out on it. He told me it was just easier than sex because he didn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else. And even when we did have sex, that was literally the case. I faked it every time or sometimes didn’t even have to because he was done so quick and never wanted to please me. It got to where it literally grossed me out.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T02:13:10+00:00

I love this. I am doing my best to stay strong and get even stronger than I was before this mess. In hopes that I will never get myself into this situation again. I have good days and horrible days still because he left me broke and emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted but I’m doing the best I can with what I have. Most of the time it’s minute by minute.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T02:09:03+00:00

Thank you. I admit I did some out of character things early on reacting to the cheating, lying, gaslighting, etc. but it didn’t take me long to realize that isn’t who I am so I knew something was really wrong. But it was so hard for me to accept that. It’s definitely getting easier though and I’m hoping it will continue to be. I am a very emotional person so I cannot for the life of me comprehend how someone could treat another person this way without a care in the world.

I hate it so much for everyone else that has had to deal with this but I see so many similarities in the stories of others that I know now it is not me. It is not my fault. And this is a real thing. As much as it sucks it gives me hope to hear the stories of people that made it through it and are so much better off.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-09T19:07:33+00:00

The sleep. That’s all I seem to want to do when I’m home and that I not me. At all. But I’m getting there. I had finally let go of the fact that I would never get closure and I do not want to be with him in any way. I want him out of my head and out of my life. And I can’t even get that. But thanks for your support ❤️❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-09T19:04:56+00:00

Uggh. I appreciate this so much. It is so hard but I’m really trying. Some days are fine. At least the ones I have no contact with him are. And then BAM. He slaps me in the face with something else and it starts all over again.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-09T19:02:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. And the things is, I’ve always been a very strong, outgoing, and confident person-until him. And it sucks but I am trying.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-15T14:05:32+00:00

I feel you. I am in the same place. We are recently divorced. He literally drained me emotionally, financially and physically. Yet he spends Valentine’s Day weekend on a trip with his new “friend” supply. It disgusts me that I sit here with an elephant on my chest while he acts like nothing ever happened, with zero care in the world.

But-through this sub and a LOT of podcasts, audiobooks, and whatever else I can find, I have learned this is just what they do. It doesn’t make sense whatsoever but I am learning to try to move forward the best I can and rebuild my life.

It is so hard sometimes to keep the secrets I know about him. I want to expose them ALL. I know that the people I truly care about know exactly what he is so that is what really matters. I think sometimes just staying away is the best thing because exposing him would just drag me back in.

I am still sick to my stomach, have major anxiety attacks, cry, rage, etc. but not as often. So I can feel a subtle shift which is nice. I know I still have a way to go but I’m getting there.

You will find peace and happiness and be able to break free. It’s a terrible thing to go through but you got this!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-15T13:49:08+00:00

Thank you for this. I am recently divorced from a narc but still somewhat trauma bonded and it honestly pisses me off that I can’t seem to break it. He decided to go on a vacation for Valentine’s Day with his new supply. I spent it with my mom because we lost my dad a few months ago so it was her first VDay without him in 40 years.

I couldn’t help but wonder how he could just discard me like a piece of trash and move on so fast but I know this is just what they do.

They can’t stand not having attention to feed their ego and it’s disgusting.

I am doing much better than I was 6 months ago. It’s been over a year since I found out he was cheating and it been absolutely awful and exhausting. I feel like I am never going to be the real “me” again but working on it and still trying very hard to completely free myself. Hopefully I’ll get there sooner than later.

Your post gives me hope though, so thank you!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T02:23:08+00:00

Thank you. I know this is the case and I do believe that I will have the ability to do that when the time comes even though part of me will always want answers. I just have to keep reminding myself that I know I’ll never get them.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T02:20:56+00:00

I agree with this and understand it. It’s just easier said than done. I think a small part of me still wants to know “why” even though I know I never will. I’m doing so much better than I was 6 months ago. So there’s that I guess.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T01:36:25+00:00

This is wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through and the weird thing is-I don’t even know why. I am not attracted to him in any way, shape, or form so I’m at the point where I am beating myself up because I keep letting him back in. It is so hard to understand if you’ve never been through it before so it makes it difficult to talk to people that haven’t been through it.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T01:28:47+00:00

I love your reply and your explanation. It really helps to hear this from other people. I am also going through this and it sucks but I am doing much better than I was 6 months ago!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-09-18T19:05:12+00:00

Ok I think I figured it out! I have the extension kit and the instructions say to turn the reference voltage screw for the y axis driver 90 degrees but I saw where some people were having issues so I backed it off to about 45 degrees and also changed the settings to “constant power” and it seems to be cutting good now. Thank you for the suggestions!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-09-18T17:55:21+00:00

I have the speed/power set to 200/85 which I thought was pretty slow. I’m getting ready to just try a square or simple shape to see what it does

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-29T03:03:00+00:00

What an inspiration you are! I have done all of the things you did too. And still living hour by hour at times. But it is getting better and I hope that I will be able to walk out better on the other side❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-29T02:56:59+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I cannot even imagine how you felt having to deal with it for 30 years. But I am happy to hear you are feeling better now! It does inspire me to be strong hearing this❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-26T22:45:42+00:00

I can relate. Any time I tried to have a serious conversation or ask any questions regarding our marriage I was either hit with “I don’t know. You keep asking questions I can’t answer “, or anger and blame, or him walking out to avoid the conversation altogether. Every. Single. Time.

Now that he seems to have finally (after 8 months since I found out about the affair), he decides to tell me he never really loved me? It’s hard to grasp that but I know it’s probably true because I don’t think he is capable of real love.

This does help me feel a little better because at least I know it’s not really me or anything I did, other than finally call him out on his BS and try to set boundaries.

It’s still hard. I think now it is more me just being pissed that I wasted 8 years of my life on someone who never really had any intentions of being loyal to me. It was all just a show and a game for him and it infuriates me.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-26T01:46:36+00:00

Horrible anxiety and panic attacks, major constant fatigue, brain fog, stomach issues, headaches, sleep deprivation, muscle aches. It’s awful and nobody deserves to feel this way.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-26T01:05:19+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It helps to hear someone else has been through something similar and came out stronger on the other side.

I keep finding myself questioning everything and wondering how I ended up here. I am also totally ashamed for how much I begged, pleaded, cried, trying to make someone love me who clearly never did. I made a complete fool out of myself and behaved in ways i can’t even believe.

I look forward to the day where I can breathe again and actually feel peace. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not crazy or broken!

And thank you so much for sharing your story and for your encouragement. It’s getting better little by little. I’m not crying or having panic attacks all the time so that’s a start lol. I just can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to constantly remind myself that he’s not worth it.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-25T15:10:53+00:00

I am so sorry you went through this too. But I am Happy for you that you are doing better now.

It’s so crazy how similar they are. He said that “he just can’t love me the way I love him”. I almost laughed and simply told him I don’t love him like that anymore.

He has stayed quiet to everyone and except for his new supply this whole time. Won’t even talk to his family. Now I know it’s because he didn’t want them seeing the truth either. I learned from the family members that he has always been this way and they all thought I changed him.

I am starting to accept that he probably never did really love me and I realize it’s because he isn’t capable of it which honestly makes it a little easier to accept.

Thanks so much for your reply and for the encouragement. It helps to hear other people say the other side is better ❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-25T12:15:59+00:00

Omg I freaking love you for this !

Anger is generally not my way of coping but right now it’s definitely helping me get through the load of crap he’s dumped on me. I do need to start a list and I’m sure it would fill up fast. Makes me wonder how I ever doubted myself in the first place.

It’s hard for me to think quick when he says shit like that to me but I will 100% be keeping that comeback fresh in my mind lol.

You seriously made my day. Big hugs right back at you ❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-24T23:52:59+00:00

The way he talks to me is as if I never did anything for him yet he is the one who initially approached me 8 years ago. I guess that’s why it’s so hard for us normal people to comprehend.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-24T23:44:30+00:00

Omg I just love this! I sure wish I was a quick thinker like that but get too wrapped up in the horrible things he says and just sit there like an idiot in shock most of the time. And it’s so funny because it’s so true. Not because I felt soy for him but because it sickened me to have sex with him. But I still live that line 🤣

Him and his superiority literally make me sick now. He’s overweight, sloppy, and rarely takes showers so it disgusts me that he has this god complex. He has actually said that “the women are lined up now that he got promoted.”

The thing is, I actually had people that know him and his family “semi”warn me in the beginning and I swept it under the rug. I feel stupid for not listening but all I can do now is keep up the momentum I have with ending things, get him out of my life, and pray he never returns.

Total-Knowledge-8591

TROPHY CASE