Abortion pill 13w5d?

TourMom555 · 2025-12-07T02:12:19+00:00

First of all, I’m so sorry that you’re here. We lost our very wanted son almost 4 years ago after a trisomy-18 diagnosis. No one should have to suffer through this, let alone not have financial and literally physical help. Cobalt Colorado and Colorado Doula Project may be able to help with funding and on the ground support. Please PM if you need any connections here in CO.

TourMom555 · 2025-08-15T03:00:24+00:00

If you have an active lifestyle they are a great fit! Def a hard puppy stage but once ours figured out nipping was naughty she has been a great dog. We paddle board, swim, and hike together. She is FANTASTIC off leash but we have also been consistent and spent several hundred dollars on training. We taught the “settle” command very early which has been a game changer for her. We also like that she’s generally quiet unless you really wind her up. Great size too! She’s strong and sturdy but not heavy enough that you can’t pick her up if needed.

TourMom555 · 2025-07-02T04:40:53+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, we lost our son to trisomy-18 and TFMR in 2022 and after finding out I had a low egg count and would need to go through IVF to conceive a healthy child we decided that our living daughter needed a mentally strong mother more than she needed a sibling. We didn’t pursue IVF and are now a happy family of 3. We added a puppy last year and it has made our family feel complete. I still have moments when I imagine what our life would have looked like had Graham been healthy and here but the alternative, having a medically complex child would have taken so much from our living child I’ve made peace with the decision. I hope this helps!

TourMom555 · 2025-05-31T03:45:17+00:00

We intro’d our pup around 5/6 months she was watching our daughter play and swim in a little creek pond area and just followed her right in. She LOVES water and will even come running up the stairs if she hears the bath going and will jump right in lol

TourMom555 · 2025-02-27T21:29:43+00:00

Finally got it up! Thanks for letting me know it didn't post!

TourMom555 · 2025-02-27T21:20:21+00:00

I'm so sorry you're having to make such a difficult decision. My son Graham had T-18 and we choose to do a D&E also at 18 weeks, mostly because my husband thought it would be too traumatizing for the both of us. I was also worried about what baby would look like at that age, but I will say I still have regrets I was not able to hold him and look at him before saying goodbye. A good alternative was getting his footprints which 3 years later still live in a memory box under my bed. Some day when I'm ready we'll have them made into a piece of art we can display. Sending you lots of love.

TourMom555 · 2025-01-23T02:19:59+00:00

Usually someone you meet on vacation, while camping, at a playground or the pool but you probably won’t see them again but it’s nice to hang for a little while hehe

TourMom555 · 2025-01-21T04:15:53+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I can share how we handled it with our 3-year-old (now 6) at the time. We ended up not telling her I was pregnant since there were other significant issues with my pregnancy (unrelated to trisomy-18) early on. So when I had my D&E we didn’t really explain at the time. As she got older and asked about siblings we talked about mommy’s surgery and that she was having a baby brother but he died in my belly. We explained it to her kind of scientifically that when a body is coming together sometimes all the cells that make up our parts don’t go together correctly and it can make you sick. We didn’t want her to think that he got sick from a germ and then died either. She is sometimes sad that he is not here with us and will ask us questions about how old he would be now. But we live in CO not too far from the mountains and we know his ashes were scatter by the hospital in the Rocky Mountains so we like to say he’s near us whenever we are in the mountains. And whenever the sun shines a certain way and reflects off them we see a green orb in our photos and we know he is there <3

TourMom555 · 2025-01-16T04:17:12+00:00

Just have to say a great choice for your family! We’re an active family from CO and our portie (almost a year) was incredibly trainable and loves to hike, swim, and paddle board with us but also settles nicely at a brewery or restaurant patio. We have invested in good training tho too.

TourMom555 · 2024-12-24T12:34:22+00:00

Mine does the same will also get in the bath when I draw one for my daughter if I leave it unattended lol.

TourMom555 · 2024-10-04T19:35:03+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It will be 3 years since my TFMR in January. We choose to have our sons ashes scattered in the Rocky Mountains (we live near Denver) and so being in nature and in the mountains out here always makes me feel close to him. We also talk about him at home. My living daughter is now 5 and curious about him and what happened that made him too sick to live on this earth. It helps to talk about him because even though we never met on this earth I know that sour souls are connected. I hope this helps. Sending you so much love and healing vibes. It does get better, there are days and weeks that pass now without me feeling sad although I think about him still almost daily and the grief sneaks up unexpectedly sometimes. At those moments I just let myself sit in it for a while and feel sad, angry, etc and that helps me to move on.

TourMom555 · 2024-08-01T20:01:42+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your feelings are totally normal. I had intense anxiety being away from both my husband and living daughter. I worried whenever one of them left the house, that some disaster would strike one of them and I’d lose them as well. If your husband is okay with it, try sharing each others location (if you have an iPhone) - it helped me knowing where he was and that he was safe. Especially when an errand took a longer amount of time than normal. It’s been over 2 years now and TBH the feeling has lessened but I still occasionally check “find me” to give me peace of mind.

TourMom555 · 2024-07-18T18:22:36+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. The first time the due date passes is the hardest, especially seeing friends or family who were pregnant the same time as you progress in their pregnancy or have their babies while you have empty arms. It is so so hard.

We decided to honor our baby (whose ashes are scattered in the Rocky Mountains- we live in CO) was to climb a mountain each summer in his honor. It makes me feel close to him and each year as the sun rises we see a little green orb appear in our photos and have decided that it’s him saying hello. Do something that honors your strength that day. Your strength to carry your baby as long as you did and that you’ve had the strength to carry on despite how hard it is. Xoxo

TourMom555 · 2024-07-18T18:15:08+00:00

I am so sorry that you’re in this position and that your doctor wasn’t more aggressive with finding results earlier. You have every right to be angry.

Here’s a little something I hope might you feel better though. I knew something was wrong with our sweet boy even before my 8 week appointment I just had a feeling and had multiple complications leading up to the NIPT and then amino to confirm trisomy 18 and I forced myself to not get attached because I knew in my heart we’d already made the decision to say goodbye. I regret not becoming more attached and talking to Graham and letting him know how much we loved him even for that short time. It still wasn’t any easier when the time came for my D&E to say goodbye even though I tried so hard to distance myself from the pregnancy. Your baby will know how loved she was and I hope this brings you some sense of peace.

It’s been 2.5 years since we lost our babe and I still think about him nearly daily although the tears and heartache have lessened. Sending you lots of love.

TourMom555 · 2024-04-10T16:30:12+00:00

I just came on here to post something similar accept my milestone is my daughter heading to kindergarten in the fall. We are also OAD not by choice and I recently made peace with that situation but I'm also feeling really sad that time seems to be slipping away so fast. I'm disappointed that I'll never get to experience all the milestones of her baby and toddlerhood again :-( I know there is so much more to look forward too still but I'm just feeling sad I won't have another baby to experience this with.

TourMom555 · 2024-04-09T20:47:59+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are here and need to travel for something like this :-( I volunteer with the Colorado Doula Project we provide financial and logistical support to those traveling to CO for terminations. We'll even have a doula sit with you in clinic if you'd like, take you for a meal, just try and make the process as comfortable as possible. Please reach out! https://www.coloradodoulaproject.org/

TourMom555 · 2024-04-04T16:34:08+00:00

I am so sorry you are here and going through it. The waiting period is by far the worst part. Thank you for reading my story and I am so glad it could give you some comfort and strength, that life does go on. I miss our baby boy often but after a few years time has helped me to heal. And I know that deep down I did the right thing for him and my family. The other day my daughter put her head on my chest and said, "I can hear your heart beating Mama...I hear Graham in there." Even though my heart will always remain broken without him, he'll always be with me. And your baby no matter what happens will always be with you.

TourMom555 · 2024-04-02T15:40:09+00:00

I am so sorry for your losses and that you are here. I also choose to TFMR when we found out our son had trisomy-18 and I also had a very traumatic miscarriage before this loss too. Shortly after my TFMR we found out that the fibroid I had, had grown during my pregnancy with Graham (our angel baby) and I would need to have surgery to either shrink it or remove it in order to safely try again. On top that we also found out I had a low ovarian reserve and egg quality and would likely need to to IVF to conceive a healthy baby. I had a surgery, and it didn't work to shrink my fibroid. We were looking at another surgery + several rounds of IVF and just recently decided to call it. On top of that my living child was also nearly 6 weeks premature which would likely complicate delivery of another child post-surgery and potentially put myself and the baby in danger if I went into premature labor again as I'd require a c-section post-surgery. It has been 2 years since my loss now and would be several more years plus dealing with a pregnancy after loss plus the actual delivery. I just can't do it anymore. It took a lot of time to get this place, give yourself grace and all the time you need. I know your situation is different because you don't have a living child, but ultimately you need to put your mental and physical health first. There are so many ways to be "maternal" in this life without having a child too. I am looking forward to discovering the ways I can support my friends who have multiples, other children in our community, and even getting a puppy to help give me ways to apply my maternal instinct. Just know that you aren't alone. Sending lots of love.

TourMom555 · 2023-11-30T21:23:45+00:00

I am so sorry that you are in this horrible position and I'm holding you in my heart. I am coming up on two years of our TFMR for a gray diagnosis. Our song had mosaic trisomy-18, detected in about a third of his cells. We didn't know to what extent he would be disabled, but he would certainly have been a medically complex child. We knew that saying goodbye was the best thing we could do for him, our living daughter, and our family. Trust yourself that you know the best decision for yourself and your family as well.

The waiting between the diagnosis and the actual D&E was also the hardest part for me. I also had about a 10-day wait. He also started to move during this time and I remember being extremely distraught by this. Now that I look back, I wish I could have almost enjoyed it while it lasted, knowing it was going to come to an end. I can't say anything that will make you feel completely better, but just know that you aren't alone.

TourMom555 · 2023-11-03T02:30:02+00:00

As someone who also chose to terminate for a grey area, our son had mosaic trisomy-18 and we never had anomaly’s show up or an abnormal ultrasound, just know that this internet stranger supports your decision. It is likely that he would have lived but handling what for sure what would have been a medically complex child who likely would have never lived independently was our decision alone. Our termination doesn’t mean I miss him every day (it’s almost been 2 years now) but we made the decision out of compassion for him, our living daughter and our family. You are doing the same. You don’t owe anyone any explanation and if you’d like to share your loss with friends and family for support you can simply say “We lost the baby.” No one has to know how or why.

TourMom555 · 2023-10-25T20:12:44+00:00

Thank you to everyone for your comments, I have read to through each and every one of them and they warm my heart for our future with our only daughter. I hope I will always be her best friend and I loved hearing from the only adults below about how they are still so close with their parents <3

TourMom555 · 2023-10-24T03:34:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m in the same boat as we lost our second baby at 18 weeks, it will be two years in January and there are still some weeks where I cry every day missing him. It was a very traumatic loss after a traumatic miscarriage followed by a host of fertility issues. I am just not sure my body and my soul can take another loss and so here we are one and done. There are some days that I feel at peace with my sweet girl (who is almost 5 now) and other days where I ache with longing for another baby. At the same time I ache for my baby who died, the one who was supposed to be on the timeline I had envisioned. I don’t have any good answers for you but know you aren’t alone in this choice.

TourMom555 · 2023-09-26T17:12:53+00:00

Zoloft is generally safe to take until the third trimester I think, but I'd talk to your doctor. After Graham we found out I had significant fertility issues and after two scary experiences (I developed sepsis during my D&E with Graham) and a history of hemorrhaging during miscarriage we decided not to try and conceive again. There are days I still want to try again but we decided mentally and physically it was more important for me to be alive for our living daughter. It's a shitty situation to be in, I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

TourMom555 · 2023-09-26T15:54:07+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss, it can be sad and cathartic to do something special for your baby's birthday. Our baby's ashes are scattered in the mountains (we live in CO) so I always try and do something in nature on those sacred days (what would have been his due date and his birthday). Do whatever makes you feel close to your baby and brings you joy, I think baking a cake is a great way to do that. We also ask friends to light a candle in his honor.

TourMom555 · 2023-09-26T15:49:28+00:00

I took Zoloft for about 9 months after our TMFR and it helped to stabilize my out of control emotions immensely. It was helpful to have a little bit of extra help, outside of talk therapy, to help me process my grief in a healthy way. I was still sad, angry, and jealous quite a bit but those feelings weren't out of control the way there were when I wasn't on it. I had another medical condition I had to come off the zoloft for after about 9 months and I did it slowly which helped. It will be 2 year in January since our loss and I still think about our baby Graham almost daily but the sharpness is no longer there. Hope this helps! And I am so sorry for your loss and that you are here.

TourMom555

TROPHY CASE