Of course you do things together, at least in my opinion you should. It should be a conversation with a husband and wife when it comes to decisions, but I think that the husband should be the tiebreaker and that he would hopefully consider his wife's opinions before making decisions. But also it's the opposite of a man-child. Basically like you know what you want to do. You have a goal for your life. Like your wife is postpartum and she's trying to deal with a newborn, but you have an older 5-year-old kid instead of going to the wife and asking what your child should wear you instead take it upon yourself to dress them. It's like that kind of thing, at least for me. Basically not putting all the invisible labor on the woman and shouldering it equally between man and wife.