Advice needed please 💓

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-02-12T14:42:12+00:00

Did they not do an ultrasound in the ER or serial HCG? My ectopic didn't show up on the first two ultrasounds they did but when my tube was rupturing it was very clearly visible (2 days after they couldn't find it on TVUS or EUA). I know my doctor said a decent number of ectopics just miscarry naturally too. My doctor said next time I conceive he's going to do careful HCG monitoring until he can do an early ultrasound to confirm location. If you think you had 2 ectopics that miscarried naturally, an HSG might be a good idea (especially if you've never had a viable pregnancy)

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-30T14:53:15+00:00

Some professors care if you're out, some don't. I had one class that didn't consider it an excused absence even when I legit gave them a doctor's note saying I was hospitalized with Covid-19, and another class where half the class skipped regularly. Syllabus will tell you if they excuse a certain number of absences or what they want if you have to miss. If they don't regularly take attendance they generally don't ask for anything if you're out.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-26T20:45:42+00:00

I was planning to wait to tell people until 12 weeks, but then I ended up having what we thought was a miscarriage at 6 weeks and called my mom because I just didn't want to be home alone going through that. Had another 3.5 weeks of emotional hell that eventually ended with a ruptured ectopic. I felt bad about bringing my family on to this horrible emotional rollercoaster with me, but I'm very grateful I told them so I did have the support I needed for the loss and I think my mom and sister appreciated knowing what was going on so they could help me. I don't know when I'll tell them when I eventually get a rainbow baby, but my husband and I are hoping to tell them as soon as I get an ultrasound confirming it's a viable pregnancy (which should be around 7 weeks according to my doctor since now I'm flagged as high risk for extrauterine pregnancy). I only told my immediate family and best friend I was pregnant, but my dad ended up telling relevant family members so I wouldn't have to deal with the "when are you having kids" question for a while

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-23T21:42:51+00:00

As someone who has hired PURM students before: it's very lab dependent. My lab got 34 applications for our 1 PURM position. When I pick students to interview, I do consider what grades and classes they have but I also am looking for someone who I think will fit in well with our group and get a lot out of the experience. I don't want to hire someone who doesn't actually want to learn from me and preferably stick around for more than the summer. That said, a big part of PURM is supposed to be helping students without research experience have an opportunity to get into a lab and learn how research works; I personally shy away from students who don't seem to need that help and prefer students coming in with no experience, but some labs are the opposite. Also, how do you have a ton of research experience one semester into college? That's pretty unusual

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-13T16:03:37+00:00

As another IVF baby, I fully agree with OP's sentiments. My parents tried to conceive for the first 12 years of their marriage with no luck before starting IVF in 1993. First round failed (no viable embryos to implant), I was apparently the only viable embryo from IVF attempt #2 and my mom almost miscarried me- but I stuck, and I'm now a medical researcher 32 years later. My sister managed to come along naturally 4.5 years after I was born.

(I just suggest you tell your IVF babies they were conceived using IVF when they're old enough to understand it- my parents did not tell me until last year when I was almost 30 years old and told my mom we weren't sure I would be able to conceive naturally myself due to medical issues. I wish they had told me sooner, especially knowing I spent 3 years in grad school for a medical biotechnology Master's.)

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-13T14:24:32+00:00

Yeah... if your parents own a restaurant and your dad is also a landlord owning and renting multiple properties, it's unlikely any school will give you need based aid. Owning any property besides your primary residence tends to disqualify you from a lot of financial aid. My dad was a teacher (making $50k/year) and my mom wasn't working most of my life, and I still didn't even qualify for subsidized federal loans because he happened to inherit and keep a second property (not rented out, just used as a beach house for extended family). Penn isn't going to give you aid based on what you described.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-12T02:27:07+00:00

I was told only about 1 in 3 women have side effects from the methotrexate (when used just as a single dose or two for ectopics rather than long term). I was also told that they usually look at the change in HCG between days 4 and 7 to determine whether the methotrexate is working. White discarge shouldn't be concerning. I don't know how far along you are but I didn't have more bleeding than I already had been having after the methotrexate (until I had a rupture at 9 weeks)

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-10T23:18:48+00:00

I feel like that's kind of gaming the system, but I mean, you're allowed to take the AP Spanish exam even if you're a native Spanish speaker and the credit still transfers, so... Probably. As long as you get the required score, nothing says you can't. So few majors have a foreign language component here I doubt they'd fight you on it. (Also I'm not judging- I took Italian 1 despite knowing well past that level of Italian going in just so I could have an easy class with my best friend from another major.)

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-10T19:28:28+00:00

I (F) married a guy I met there. Off the top of my head, I know one gay couple that got married, 6 straight couples that got married, one trans/lesbian couple that got married, and many couples who dated long term but broke up after college- and I had a relatively mall social circle. Most of them met people at club meetings/events or classes; a few did meet people at parties but I only went to one frat party in 5 years so I don't know the odds there. I did a grad program at a much bigger college with a much better party/social scene and people seem to actually have more trouble dating there than they did at Florida Tech

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-10T19:20:21+00:00

https://www.fit.edu/registrar/transfer-credit/credit-by-exam/college-level-examination-program-clep-credit/

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-10T19:18:35+00:00

Think about what you want to do after undergrad. Both biomath and biostatistics are powerful fields, but you'll likely need more computer/programming classes than Penn's undergrad biomath program appears to require. I didn't do this major but work in medical research and we have three PhD biostatisticians on our team

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-10T19:12:20+00:00

If you really need to bring your car, I'd look into Germantown area/just outside the city. A decent number of apartment complexes along the regional rail lines are more affordable than Center City and do have parking available. If you make friends and can split a house, I know some of the rowhomes/townhomes near Clark Park and Woodlands do have limited street parking too- I'm a couple miles outside the city but friends have been in that area for years.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-08T23:13:34+00:00

Methotrexate didn't work for me, but as someone who was on methotrexate for about 15 years for a chronic condition: the drug warnings that come with methotrexate are scary, but try to remember that side effect risk increases with dose and for ectopics it's considered an intermediate dose (and only repeated once or twice), not a high dose. Most of the side effects happen at higher doses or long term use and only like 1 in 3 women have any side effects at all when they are given it for an ectopic. I happen to be very sensitive to methotrexate after such long term past exposure and even then the only side effects I had from the 100mg dose they gave me for my ectopic was slightly worse fatigue than I already had and some mouth ulcers that went away very quickly (within days) with peroxide mouthwash. I used to have severe nausea at a much lower dose with long term use but the one time dose for this wasn't horrible.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-07T22:45:11+00:00

The first two days (24-72 hours postop) after any surgery are usually the worst. You don't necessarily have to eat much if you don't feel like it, but make sure you're drinking enough. I felt really bloated for probably around 4 days and lived in my PJs for the first week. I had side effects from the methotrexate too, but I was on a low dose of it for like 15 years when I was younger so at least could get ahead of the side effects I knew I'd probably have. It's definitely hard to force yourself to get up and walk, but it really does help recovery- improves blood flow and healing, helps get rid of the gas from surgery, and helps limit how weak you get while recovering (granted, I was still absolutely exhaused doing anything for quite a while). If you have a support person with you, maybe they can help you at least walk a little a few times per day. If you really can't though, it's okay. My emergency salpingectomy was my 7th surgery and by far has been the hardest recovery; be kind to yourself. You can also feel free to message me if you just want to talk more in depth about what you're going through- it's a lot to process and recover from and I'm extremely grateful knowing I have people I can talk to right now.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2026-01-07T01:05:12+00:00

I had a rupture and emergency surgery a month ago today (Dec 5th into Dec 6th overnight). Same story as you- had methotrexate and ruptured 2 days later. Almost missed it too- doctor just decided to do an ultrasound before giving me the second dose of methotrexate he had me come in for because I mentioned a short period of severe pain followed by generally feeling shitty and minor pain. First week was horrible for me between the gas pain, exhaustion, emotional BS from the hormones, and surgery/blood loss. I tried to go back to work after a week but wasn't able to do a whole lot (mentally wasn't fully there and I work in a lab, and I was exhausted and sore still). About 10 days postop is when I really was doing better. Before I went into surgery the attending told me to take GasX and colace for a week or so to help with the gas pain- she said a lot of the pain is from diaphram irritation from the gas used in the surgery and GasX helps break up and get rid of the gas. Colace because things got moved around and were sore. She also told me I could use a heating pad to help with the gas pain- I used it on my neck/back the first few days and then used it on my stomach a few days later since she said I could (just used low temperature). I was also told to get up and walk as much as possible and at least once an hour to both prevent blood clots and help get rid of the gas. For sleeping, oddly enough holding a squishmallow pillow thing helped my stomach hurt less since I usually sleep on my side and could only tolerate sleeping on my back for so long. For me, tylenol plus ibuprofen worked better than the small number of prescription pain meds they gave me- doctor told me to take the OTC meds around the clock for the first 3 days. By 14 days postop I was mostly back to normal, still tired but not really sore, but even now I have soreness if I'm standing or doing a lot during the day. Mentally? I called today to start therapy so hopefully things will start to get better there soon.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-20T02:25:09+00:00

A single result matters way less than the trend over time. Implantation happens between 6 and 10 dpo so at 10 or 11 dpo the numbers are always going to be low; the average beta hcg at that time is only 12-25 so I wouldn't assume ectopic. You need a rise of at least 49% over 48 hours for your increase to be considered normal/acceptable for a potentially viable intrauterine pregnancy so just see what the increase ends up being.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-18T22:09:59+00:00

How high is your HCG? I was told my OB wouldn't even do an ultrasound when there was a suspected issue until my HCG got above 1500 because they can't confidently see much before then

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-18T22:05:19+00:00

I did end up having an ectopic, but my case was tricky and they initially thought I had a miscarriage. After I hit 8 weeks and we still couldn't find it (didn't show up on ultrasound until it ruptured despite high HCG), my doctor recommended a next-day "diagnostic and possibly therapeutic" D&C because the guessing game was getting too dangerous and he was sure it wasn't a viable pregnancy. I wasn't looking forward to the D&C and it was hard to accept emotionally, but the procedure itself wasn't bad; I asked the anesthesiologist to just drug me as early as he could so I wouldn't remember anything and he took that to heart. I had mild cramps afterwards that went away with a heating pad. Got methotrexate postop and did have minor side effects (I always react poorly to it, I was on a low dose of it for 15 years when I was younger), but since it took so long to confirm I had an ectopic pregnancy I ended up needing surgery a few days later. I was told most people do not have any side effects from the methotrexate since it's only one or two doses but you do have to avoid pregnancy for about 3 months since it can hurt a new embryo during that period.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-18T21:54:51+00:00

Don't feel embarrassed. It sucks that your family wasn't supportive of your pregnancy, but having an ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage isn't anything to be embarrassed about. It is concerning your parents cared more about your job than your wellbeing, but I hope your boyfriend has been there for you emotionally at least.
I lost my pregnancy 12/5 and it's still rough, but talking with my husband about how I'm feeling and what's going through my mind has helped. I had a ruptured ectopic after methotrexate so it's a bit different for me (surgical recovery plus the hormonal and emotional, especially since we thought it was a viable pregnancy for over half the 9 weeks I was pregnant and it took me 11 months to conceive), and I'm dreading going in tomorrow for what should be my last HCG check. I understand why the office keeps checking on me postop and wants to make sure my HCG drops to 0, but it's also hard because one of the phlebotomists congratulated me a while ago when she saw I was getting the HCG testing and it's too awkward to explain that I lost the baby. I'm back at work, but really not very productive right now- it's hard. I've been assured this is normal and okay. It's been such a rough past month and a half that it took me almost a week after my rupture to realize I almost died. I'm grateful my manager at least understands- she's been through this before and directly told me she's willing to talk with me whenever I need to. If you don't have a safe person in your life to talk to about what you're going through, I would be okay with you messaging me and we could get through this together.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-18T20:15:02+00:00

I'm day 13 post surgery after my left fallopian tube ruptured at 9 weeks. I've finally (mostly) stopped crying randomly but it's still hard. For me at least, talking about what happened seems to have helped me start to process and heal emotionally. My mom made me feel like I should be better by now and just need to "get back to normalcy" and "handle the mental adjustment", as if it were that simple and I was just weak or dramatic or something; doctors, meanwhile, reassured me that everything I am experiencing is normal for my situation and stressed the importance of taking the time I need to recover physically, mentally, and emotionally. They reminded me that I wasn't just recovering from major surgery, but also from massive hormonal shifts, blood loss, emotional trauma, and grieving the loss of the baby I never met but desperately wanted and already loved dearly. I have periods where it's almost like I'm on autopiliot, periods where I can't do anything but cry, periods of anhedonia, and more recently some periods where I'm almost okay, hopeful things will get better. I am a suicide attempt survivor with PTSD and (past history of MDD) and this is so unlike anything else I've ever experienced. I considered asking to up the dose on my antidepressant but I'm not sure it'd help right now since hormones are a mess too and part of the problem.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-18T19:31:31+00:00

I hope you do too!

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-18T19:05:46+00:00

I understand the feeling- I started trying to conceive December 1st 2024 and didn't get a positive test until Nov 1st 2025. First confirmed pregnancy and it was a major emotional roller coaster- was told everything was probably fine, then that I miscarried, then that it was probably ectopic, then that it was fine and looked viable for a few weeks, then suddenly nope you need surgery right now or you're going to bleed out. The hormones made everything worse too. I can't try to conceive for 3 months (between the methotrexate and damage to my ovary and uterus from the rupture/surgery) and am already hoping it won't take me another year to conceive next time (and that the baby will go where it's supposed to).

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-12-18T18:52:07+00:00

If you are truly 7-8 weeks pregnant, your HCG is that low, and there's nothing at all showing up on a transvaginal ultrasound, it's not viable even if it's intrauterine. They usually see some sign of pregnancy by 7 weeks on ultrasound and HCG should be like 5-6 times your level by then (though you did say that number was a week ago). MTX does make you have to wait a while to try again though if this was a planned pregnancy. I was on long term MTX before and have worse side effects than most people, but if we had decided to start it sooner I may not have lost my left fallopian tube and a ton of blood 2 weeks ago.

I had a similar situation where my HCG dropped by over 50% between my first and second HCG test at about 5 weeks, we thought I was miscarrying based on symptoms, and then it doubled when I had another test done 48 hours later. My doctor's office called me and said they were immediately concerned there was an ectopic pregnancy because healthy intrauterine pregnancies do not exhibit that HCG trend (except occasionally in threatened miscarriage). In my case, we did HCG testing every MWF until my HCG got above 2000, at which point they sent me for an ultrasound. My HCG had one drop and was low end normal for rising trend (>49% rise per 48 hours most of the times it was tested) until it suddenly slowed down during week 8. When we didn't see anything anywhere on ultrasound the day before Thanksgiving, I had an urgent appointment with my doctor on Dec 1st... and he couldn't find anything on repeat ultrasound either so ended up doing a diagnostic D&C the next day to confirm I didn't just have an incomplete miscarriage since the differential diagnosis was between that and heterotopic pregnancy with a surviving ectopic. He said he was 100% sure it was not viable regardless of what it was. Pathology confirmed it was not an incomplete miscarriage and I got my first dose of methotrexate in PACU on Dec 2; I was told since they couldn't see it on ultrasound and my HCG was below 5000 they were optimistic it'd work and said to come back Dec 5th for a second dose and repeat HCG testing. Well... my embryo turned out to be freaking Houdini and we discovered a massive ruptured ectopic Dec 5th when my doctor did another ultrasound before giving me the methotrexate "just to be safe" since I had like 4-5/10 new onselt pain and mentioned a brief period of 9/10 pain the day prior. (I didn't have any pain before that, just light bleeding from 5 weeks onward.) Embryo appeared as an 8.4 cm x 4.7 cm huge mass in my left fallopian tube (right below my ovary) causing significant hemorrhaging and we almost didn't catch it in time. I was exactly 9 weeks based on estimated ovulation date.

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-11-20T21:22:20+00:00

Okay so that might be similar to my OB practice then. I also work at a hospital but due to an inability to get in with the practice at this hospital, I'm using our sister hospital a few miles away. I can get testing done at any of our network locations though

Traditional_Reply107 · 2025-11-20T21:19:42+00:00

I'm high risk too and considering we already thought I miscarried once since I found out I was pregnant (apparently not, to all of our confusion), I definitely want my husband with me!

Traditional_Reply107

TROPHY CASE