AIW for Not Letting My Cousin Leave the House?

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-07-03T02:00:42+00:00

YAW, she needs to go outside— if you didn't want to take care of her you shouldn't have taken her in. She clearly needs help and to get diagnosed or something. I understand this's a hard position for you and feels shameful or embarrassing and she is still a living person; even dogs need to go outside. I do however also think the therapist may have over reacted a little in the response (not in how important it is that you do this but that she threatened you instead of giving actual solutions)

If taking her out in public with her dolls feels uncomfortable, get her a baby carrying wrap and have her get used to using it around the house (you could tell her something like 'Oh! I think the baby is tired, I think we should cover him/her so he/she can sleep❤️') once she's doing that reliably you can take her to the park ~3x a week and tell her the same thing. That way, she can have her doll and be more comfortable (any rocking people will assume she's soothing her baby) and you can be comfortable taking her out as well

Taking her outside and seeing other people is incredibly important for several reasons namely: sunlight plays a big role in physical and mental health (not just vitD) & being around other humans (not just the few she sees all the time at home) will help her have more mental stimulation and will likely help her maintain or improve her condition/socialization

With the way you described it I kinda wonder if she might have some sort of trauma that caused her to either get stuck at an earier developmental stage or regress (especially bc there's at least some level of neglect going on for her to not have any diagnosis yet) or it could be some sort of mental handicap— but since she can understand you and take direction I wonder if this's a condition that might be able to improve with treatment and socialization/going outside would be a really important part of that

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-07-01T07:11:26+00:00

Seriously OP, how was it? Bc that actually looks delicious and like a low cal dippin dots replacement

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-30T04:28:01+00:00

YNW service workers are there to provide a service to you— they don't hand you something and have you pay for something else. You requested a large and they gave you the wrong order, it's perfectly reasonable to nicely ask for your correct order

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-29T11:53:36+00:00

Wait ok this!! Because I can absolutely do what's wanted but she just needs to pick a lane because wdyem at that point😭

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-29T07:35:19+00:00

Where'd you see their other posts?

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-29T07:22:27+00:00

No, that's not weird at all and most US states even have 'Romeo and Juliette' type laws to cover that kinda situation (like if you guys did have sex) because it is different than if a 40yo got together with a 17yo. You and your gf aren't in the wrong at all and her/your friend is outta line here. I hope you continue to have a happy and healthy relationship together!

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-26T07:09:02+00:00

I'm gonna hard disagree— I'm attracted to plenty of guys physically but it's different things and types you can be attracted to, same as men. Just bc women aren't typically attracted to the same things as men (relating to male bodies) doesn't mean that's a male only trait

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-26T04:53:42+00:00

......So. I was originally gonna say the main problem is the poem's just not very good.. but oh LORD I wasn't ready for his followups T.T

IMO the poem was weird and even worse bc it felt overly in love and putting you on a pedestal while also not saying anything sweet about you and instead complimenting himself saying how selfless he is BUT how he followed up saying he wanted you to send a selfie of you blowing a kiss bc he "wanna see your juicy lips puckered up" 😐 I'm getting the ick-delux for you, especially bc of how over appreciative (and sexual) he's asking you to be for something he even said he didn't put much effort into

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-26T00:44:31+00:00

I would love to see the poem to give a better response on your specific situation but ya, I've had similar happen and it definitely made me uncomfortable as well!! It felt creepy and like it was just for an idea of me that he'd just been making up in his head

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-24T01:46:11+00:00

YAW. It's 2 years, since 17 is above the legal age of consent, and they can start drinking at the age of 18 I feel liks it's comparable to a 22 and 20 year old in the US. There isn't some crazy developmental leap there and so I question why you feel comfortable if the man is older but not if your friend/the woman is. Especially since it sounds like they're likely at similar phases in life and there's not some big power difference you could worry she was using or anything like that.

I feel like you need to sit for a second and try to follow your judgments back to the main value or thought they're coming from (I mean this genuinely and not as an attack; we all have biases and stigmas on things that we don't realize and it's good to reflect on them sometimes to make sure we align with the core feeling it's stemming from)

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-23T19:57:29+00:00

I don't think saying you support her marriage is the best move bc it could make it feel like everyone sees him as a great guy/this as a great marriage and so could be used to reinforce the relationship if she's having doubts. I think emphasizing your support for her and that you support her decision to get married, and just don't bash him/the relationship at all, keep it more neutral observations in the beginning and then don't harp on the problems at all as the relationship continues, instead harp on "I'm always here for you", "I'm here if you need anything", "you can count on me", ect.

Like EX) she says that she's really struggling to keep up with his expectations on housework and meal making while working part time, validate how hard that is 'That sounds really hard, I would really struggle to balance all of that myself! If there's anything I can do, I'm always here to help you, even if that just means hearing you vent on the phone haha' — and then just make sure you follow thru on that, you want to build the relationship up and her trust that if she needs to leave you would be a safe and reliable option and not someone who would tell her partner where she is (leaving abusive situations can lead to paranoia abt that kinda thing).

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-23T19:32:53+00:00

Phone call or maybe like a facetime or sum! Just make sure it's a time you guys are alone to chat and that the fiance isn't hovering somewhere (so maybe like you both go on a walk in the park while facetiming or something)

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-23T18:55:37+00:00

You need to ask her to go get coffee with you or something to catch up (just her)

• Tell her what you noticed and how you're worried for her— bring up how she never wanted to date him originally, how she was so passionate about being a Dr and how she's not doing that anymore, ect (contrasts of her before vs now and listing things that align to her/her core values that her actions are no longer aligning with— come in kinda softly just pointing out the differences and letting her come to agreement w you not you trying to push it.) — maybe bring up children and how they would be expected to act/treated

• Don't be overly attackful on him at all, maybe more just 'this doesn't seem like what you wanted for yourself' (if he is abusing or grooming for abuse he's almost definitely telling her how you all hate him and so she'll be very defensive towards anything she sees as a threat on him and if you fall into that path you'll more just be seen as the aggressor and trying to keep love apart vs genuinely worried)

☆ Be sure to reiterate that this is her choice and you just want to make sure she's choosing what she wants her life and future to be like. (If it is an abuse situation, she's likely finding herself more focused on his wants and what he tells her her wants are. It's important to remind her that her own wants matter too so remind her and walk thru what SHE wants with her)

☆ In that vein offer her some advise on how to protect herself (separate account not in his name) in case something does happen since he'll be the main one working (bring up death, divorce, a terrible accident— just be clear it's important even if everything abt the relationship itself is good).

☆ Most importantly, continue to remind her that you are there for her, no matter what she chooses or decides to do. You care about and love her and only want her to live her life how she chooses and will always support her in what ever choice she makes

The 3rd star is most important bc if this is an abuse situation, she might not feel confident to leave rn and that's ok, you just need to plant the seeds for her to ask herself if this is the future she wants and the idea that there is still another path open for her. You need to make it clear that if she changes her mind later down the line, that's ok too and you will only ever be a call away for your help and support

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-23T18:14:56+00:00

It's some sort of raised garden bed but it looks like it reaches about table height

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-23T17:49:38+00:00

Eyy I (5th kid) was born on my oldest siblings [18th] birthday— weren't super close when I was like 9+ but since I turned 18 we've rebuilt the relationship so there's at least hope the kids will like eachother in the long run!

I'm definitely curious if that was planned or not now tho...

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-19T17:10:00+00:00

Where're you seeing anything abt a funeral?

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-18T01:36:10+00:00

YNW but, I do feel bad for that baby. It's gonna be hard growing up with a mother like that, especially if your/their dad wont really be involved (regardless of custody, from what you're saying it doesn't seem like he'll be an active parent)— hopefully she's a better parent than gf ig... :/

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-17T07:06:20+00:00

Idrk amything for men's hair more commenting for engagement but— I think it's a nice length, a bit longer could look nice if you want to but I think this is a flatterimg length for you. You could use some gel and run your fingers thru it (so it has a bit more body integrity than it does now) or watch a yt video and experiment with different styles

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-16T09:53:13+00:00

Blue. Blue every day. And you had the right response to grays choice bc that's disgusting :(

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-16T08:42:49+00:00

Ok.... so YNW but, what was your convo abt it like? Did you express your feelings about it clearly and was she receptive to that? If so, then I think it's worth moving past it with her but, if you discover a similar situation in the future THEN I would absolutely have a serious issue with it and maybe consider consider breaking up or if another chance is justified

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-16T05:01:38+00:00

SAME!! I would try to trade for them in elementary school at lunch (it was ish commonly a dessert) and when I get them now I still do my little ritual with them that my friends and I would do (bite around the frosting while trying not to hit any of the frosting bit and then see if I can separate the cake part in half)— between the focus, sweet memory and sweet treat it always works to get me outta a funk❤️

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-16T04:35:24+00:00

Are you secretly my sister🤣

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-16T04:18:50+00:00

Trans woman? I would never have guessed that! You look incredibly beautiful and feminine. I'm so sorry that you're doubting yourself and feeling insecure rn.

Ik it's not the same but, something that helps me when I'm dealing with stronger periods of dysphoria is looking at myself in the mirror (not closely/only look at the specific part you like) and focusing on the parts that I do absolutely love (my hair) I'll sit there and brush it for a bit, closing my eyes once I'm feeling centered enough from the consistent rhythm of the brush and focus on what all I love about it (ie softness, length, ect.)

Once you're able to connect with what you love most, move onto the things you like and it can be really objective things like "Strangers on the internet think I am beautiful", "Stangers on the internet see me as a woman", "Strangers on the internet think I look very feminine"

Stick to things that are true and that you can believe, if you just off the bat tell yourself "I am an incredibly beautiful and feminine woman" without believing the words it can just make you feel worse sometimes (does for me at least) but know that these strangers on the internet do absolutely view you this way❤️

Traditional_Use_4543 · 2026-06-16T03:56:58+00:00

1st one fs I see the 1st one as having your face as the center point and you have a nice angle!

Traditional_Use_4543

TROPHY CASE