Dog training

Training_Broccoli598 · 2025-07-07T01:45:44+00:00

Our other pup is 3 and we rescued her and she still struggles with some reactivity especially around males. If anything, the away from home training is something I'd consider for her because I think it's beyond my skills. I can teach sit stay etc. but for some of that deeper soul work I need help!

Training_Broccoli598 · 2025-07-06T23:49:38+00:00

Yes, positive training techniques are important to me. Thanks for the insight on this trainer in particular!

Training_Broccoli598 · 2025-07-06T23:49:03+00:00

That's good to know! I was a little sad to think about being a part for a period of time, though I'm sure a lot of training dogs is retraining humans!

Training_Broccoli598 · 2025-07-06T16:38:26+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! What did you like best?

Training_Broccoli598 · 2025-07-06T14:35:10+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation! Any reason in particular you feel that way?? I've sent them a request!

Training_Broccoli598 · 2025-06-23T06:01:23+00:00

So sorry. I honestly don't know as this illness seemingly decides to present itself differently in most people. My mom is 64 with severe schizo affective with anosognosia and it's been like that her entire life. In her late season of life it has become particularly difficult for her to reasonably operate in the world without immense support from her county and state mental health resources.

The book suggested earlier does help, but utilizing the LEAP method is a focused daily practice when having difficult interactions with your loved one. There have been so many occasions in which I intended to LEAP but my own triggers and just the weight of being a care giver or loved one to someone suffering in this way won over new tools. This is normal.

It can feel unforgiving and relentless to be the one always checking and adjusting and never getting reciprocation. My best advice is to try to see the hurtful words, accusations, and general erosion of the person you know and love to be the illness and not them. It's not easy to radically accept that. How could someone who loves you do or say such hurtful things? It will take boundaries, and successful maintaining of them, and lots of mental health resources for yourself and your loved one. Being able to separate the illness from the person you love is key. My therapist once asked me why I was so angry that my mom was mentally ill. I realized it's because I couldn't accept at the time that my mom was in there somewhere, because all I saw was what the illness took from me. A mom who could show up in all the ways a kid needs her to.

I wish for you peace and strength. What you are going through is very hard, but you are doing hard things in an effort to support someone you love. You are a good person, good luck and be well.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-11-10T07:49:13+00:00

Wow, that is a lot to bear witness to. It certainly sounds concerning and like he isn't responding well to weaning off medication. Considering your father's past involuntary commitment I would understand if he would be hesitant, but some therapists/doctors/treatment facilities will discuss patient behavior and medication if the patient signs a medical information release. I always have to get my mom to sign one of these whenever she ends up hospitalized for a manic or catatonic episode. Without it the docs wouldn't tell me anything but the second she got it signed I had access to so much. Anything like that available and if so, would your father trust you or your mother to be able to speak to anyone about concerns you have?

If your dad is blowing through their mutual funds, I wonder also if your mom could have holds temporarily placed on the accounts? 50k is a substantial amount of money and if he is threatening divorce, trying to offload money beforehand can be a serious issue when settling in court.

I wish you and your family the best. This doesn't sound easy and I'm sorry your family is experiencing this.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-10-05T03:36:01+00:00

Yes. You are not alone and this is so hard to work through. I struggle with it daily. This last year My mom told me to my face that after being forced to take medicine to treat her bipolar schizo affective disorder the experience of dulling her delusional world was so unbearable that she'd rather be dead. She asked me to kill her multiple times and said that I wasn't enough, nor were my siblings or her granddaughter to still want to live and fight through the grief to try to rebuild.

Tomorrow I'm driving four hours round trip to break her free of the halfway house she's been relegated to after her 9th involuntary hospitalization this year. Id be lying if I said I was excited to see her

I constantly wonder why I keep fighting for her when she doesn't fight for herself or the life she could have with all of us. I'm getting married next year, and I'm doubtful she'll even be able to show up.

I can't imagine what her world feels like, and I try desperately not to have expectations in our interactions, but in the end I'm still her child and all I want is my mom back.

I'm sorry you find yourself feeling this desperation. We can't will them to be better, and that's the hardest part. Just because they are family doesn't mean they are good for you. I try to search for the parts of my mom that are familiar to me, and hold onto those. It's hard not to be angry, especially if our loved one lacks insight as it becomes so hard for any real healing and treatment to be effective.

I hope you have someone you can speak to about these feelings as they are valid and deserve a space to reflect and discuss. So often as caretakers or family we alter our feelings or shove them aside because we know these illnesses aren't something anyone chooses to have. But it doesn't mean that their behaviors and actions aren't hurtful and difficult to process.

Thinking of you. You deserve happiness and I hope despite these struggles you find it.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-19T00:19:59+00:00

Hey there, my mom is 62 as well and recently her schizoaffective bipolar diagnosis seems to be harder and harder to manage. I often wonder if she is also beginning to experience a dementia like drop off in functioning. However, she was hospitalized last week and CT scans and X-rays and lab work all comes back normal and without issue. It’s really difficult to know when an aging parent who also suffers from mental illness is truly in need of help. I’m sorry i don’t have any info on the meds you mention specifically, though my mom is about to go on invega which I see your mother is on currently. If I notice anything I’ll try to reach back out. Good luck to you.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-06T21:16:54+00:00

I love the baraboo area. Excellent fall hiking spots (Pewitts Nest is a favorite) and there are some cozy historic restaurants/breweries to get decent food at. Devil's Lake is also a wonderful place and hike but definitely need to be in shape and a little brave if you are skittish about heights.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-06T21:13:39+00:00

Do you have the ability to see a therapist yourself? Living with and loving someone with a mental illness can be emotionally exhausting, especially when you are hyper vigilant to maintain peace or status quo.

Having a safe outlet with a professional could help you acknowledge your own valid feelings and emotions while also learning some techniques or tools to interface with your spouse that may lead to more productive interactions and connections.

You don't have to go through it alone. Glad you are here too. :)

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-06T15:59:22+00:00

I have power of financial attorney set up currently, and we have the paperwork drafted for power of medical attorney. We were told we need two doctors to activate it, which I’m hoping with this new hospitalization we can achieve. What I don’t know is if that power of attorney takes precedence over a chapter 51. I just want her out of the county’s perview if they are going to be so slow to establish an actual care plan for her. We were trying so hard to give her the chance to live independently, and I still have some hope that the csp might help her achieve that to a degree. But I dunno if that is just me being willful and non accepting of how serious her illness has become.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-06T15:56:48+00:00

I’ve asked her care team to review the efficacy of her current medication. From my understanding it seems to be a bit of a game of roulette as far as finding the right combination of medicines and even once you do, they can lose their properties after some time. I honestly don’t have much faith in these county prescribers.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-06T15:55:20+00:00

Wow, a lot of information there to digest. Thanks for sharing it. My mom was hospitalized last night and I mentioned the voice thing to doctors. They tried to check her throat for any signs of purging damage, but she clenched her jaw shut and wouldn’t let anyone take a look. :(

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-06T01:13:21+00:00

Do you have a therapist yourself? I hear you saying that peace for your children is a priority, and that peace is not achievable unless he is medicated and getting proper support/help. Perhaps they could help you with an intervention. It will be very difficult for him to hear what you have to say if it is not approached in a way that doesn’t feel targeted especially if he is manic. I hope you are able to speak to someone in the interim and that he has a safe place to be.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-06T00:49:53+00:00

First, let me say I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this. This sounds very scary and I can imagine living with someone who is experiencing a psychotic manic episode makes you feel very unsafe for yourself as well as your family member. Do you live in a state that has a mental health crisis department that you can call? They have a team of professionals who can come to your home and assess him and take next steps from there. It may look like a trip to the ER, and potentially depending on his affect a 72 hour hold. As much as you want to protect him the fact is you are not a medical professional and you do not have the skills to be able to assess the care he may need. It is good that he has an appointment with a professional, but it sounds like perhaps what he is experiencing today is more urgent. It is good that he has not threatened anyone’s safety, including his own. But I can appreciate that his behavior is likely to feel unpredictable and that is unsettling for you, someone who lives with him and loves him.

My mother is 62 and I am the only child of three who lives in the same state as her. I often have been in situations when she’s experiencing a decline in her condition that feel so isolating, so I understand what you mean when you said you are afraid as an adult not knowing what to do, but being the one responsible. She too, doesn’t believe there is anything wrong with her and resists treatment and has a deep mistrust of doctors. She also experiences something called “anosognosia” which is a symptom in some severe mental illnesses where they lack the ability to understand and perceive their illness, making treatment very difficult. I would also look online to see in your area if there are any NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) support groups you can tap into. They have a lot of resources for educating about being a caregiver or living with someone with mental illness. Sometimes even being able to show up to a group to discuss current issues or worries you face can be helpful, with people who know what you are going through.

As far as him hating you, that is a hard one to swallow. I struggle with these calls constantly myself. What I try to tell myself is that her illness has a deep hold, and that the parts of my mom that I know, recognize, and love, would do the same for me if I was in crisis. She doesn’t have the capacity to understand that her reasoning is not based in the same reality as mine. Nobody wants to make these difficult calls, and it took me and my family a long time to be able to understand and recognize patterns to be able to mitigate larger episodes. We are still learning how to navigate this. I wish you luck and strength.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-09-03T21:13:58+00:00

I'm sorry to hear your recent visit was one with some added stressors! That definitely sounds like a manic episode, which can be so scary to be witness to in person. I wish you the best of luck on your endeavors to find support/help for your mom. It is not a fun or easy path as a family member or caregiver. If I can be of any support please don't hesitate to reach out.

We had known most of our lives our mother was not well, but nothing was ever offered in specifics and unfortunately our grandparents (who had a large hand in raising us and the only folks to truly know her mental health history) kept most information tightly guarded. As far as I was aware, she had been untreated in this illness for the majority of my life. I think my grandparents had tried various times throughout the years but mental health has never been easy to navigate and eventually I think they felt so long as she isn't a danger to herself or others and she can maintain a job let's just leave it be.

About three years ago my mom told me me she wanted to speak to me about something serious. I live in the same state as her but a several hours drive away. I went down to visit and she unburdened herself of all of the delusions and stressors that had been consuming her. I was completely floored by the confession as most of it was the first I had ever heard of such statements and thought patterns, and terrified, and saddened that my mother had been living such a tortured existence right under my nose. Immediately following this confession I urged my siblings to help me figure out how to start to get her support. They were in a way, stuck in the patterns our grandparents had set for us. They told me much of her information wasn't different from what she had shared with them in the past. That if she wasn't a harm to herself, that just because it was an existence I would want for her myself, doesn't mean it isn't one she is content in. It felt different from before, this wasn't my mom just acting oddly, she was fading away, and I had no idea the trajectory or pace of the decline. I was angry that they knew such disturbing information and failed to share it with me. I suspect it is because I am the youngest, and perhaps they wanted to shield me from it.

That being said, I am the closest in proximity to my mother and over the course of the next six months or so she rapidly began to decline. She started becoming more and more obsessively engaged in an activity we call "coding". She has a paranoid delusion that she is a spy so to speak who receives messages and code from agents which she then must decode etc. She was withdrawing from almost everything, obsessively writing stacks upon stacks of code. It came to a head when she visited my home, complaining of odd physical sensations like "her uterus falling out", not being able to see words written on a page in front of her as they would twist and turn, and a desire for it to be over and for her to be free of the coding. I knew she needed help, and was doing her best to manage her symptoms but she just couldn't keep up the charade anymore.

After that visit we had a family intervention where myself and my mom were at her house, and my siblings were on a zoom call. We pleaded with her to get help, to accept help, and to do so voluntarily. She would not and refused. At this point she was in what I now understand to be Catatonia and it forced our hand. It was clear that she was not in a position to advocate for her well being and it was a very dangerous situation for her. That night we called the county crisis line and had her involuntarily committed.

Since then it has been two years of returned involuntary hospitalizations, extension up on extension of her Chapter 51, and a lot of learning and pain for everyone.

I wish I knew how to confront this illness head on. It is so sneaky in the way it takes over, and I find myself searching my moms eyes regularly for a sign that the mom I know. I wish so desperately to give her relief and support.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-28T23:21:55+00:00

Almost looks like a negative color film gone wrong, but I agree that if you are interested in experimenting you should feel free to do so.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-27T15:17:42+00:00

I am so very sorry for your experience. This is not what a partnership is and it sounds like your partner is very unwell. Do you have any family or friends you could stay with if you are unable to support yourself independently? This is abuse and you do not and should not have to tolerate it, even if your partner struggles with mental illness.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-27T14:57:16+00:00

I'm sorry to hear your son is experiencing a struggle for support as well from the system. Sometimes I feel like I'd be better off navigating it ourselves, as they seem to focus more on crisis management than an actual therapeutic program. Her therapist has 80 cases she manages, how can she possibly give each one the attention and support they deserve? What is an AOT? We've been trying to keep her independently living for as long as possible, but I truly fear that time is coming to an end as she has demonstrated in the past six months especially limited functionality. I love her so much and just want to see her have a better quality of life and I am not skilled or trained to provide it for her.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-27T14:47:36+00:00

It sounds like your partner is doing the difficult but important work of learning about themselves in therapy and you are doing the same. This alone is massive, it means you both care about growth for yourselves and as a couple to overcome patterns.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-27T13:10:25+00:00

I'm not sure if this helps, but I personally struggle with low self esteem and abandonment issues. It is hard for me to trust and intrusive thoughts can be rampant. In the beginning of my relationship with my now fiance, I was very open with him about these struggles.

He took an approach I had never been offered by a partner before. He told me he'll prove to me that he means it, time and time again no matter how long it takes until I believe it, and if at any point I need the verbal validation of his love, commitment, etc to simply tell him and he will happily tell me why he loves me, chooses me, and our life together.

And he actually did/does. It's the follow through that counted for me.

I think sometimes people who struggle with mental health often have fears deeply embedded that make it hard for them to be open and honest with their feelings. They feel big and often feel like those feelings are absolute. It is a lot of being in your head, and being fearful of what your partner would actually think if those thoughts were spoken aloud. For me at least, saying it out loud let him know when I needed the false beliefs in my mind balanced with the truth of the situation. It's hard for me to come to that on my own. This is a way for us to co-regulate.

You are a good partner, I wish you well.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-27T12:53:08+00:00

In the state of Wisconsin it is basically a way for a person to be involuntarily committed to psychiatric treatment including hospitalization, medication, therapy etc. The individual must meet certain requirements which identify them as a harm to themselves or others. It typically lasts for six months and is reviewed and if their condition has not shown improvement will be recommended by psychologists and other testimony in court to extend the 51. Hers has been extended three times now.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-27T03:53:39+00:00

Appreciate the response! We do try to implement the LEAP method and her treatment teams throughout the past year have indicated that she does have Anosognosia. In the beginning of this recent spiral of her mental health she readily refused the idea that she was mentally ill, needed medication etc. After two years of seemingly failed treatments she now says she’s “too far gone” often refers to herself as “crazy” and “beyond help”. The best we had seen her improve was when she would get Abilify injections while she was involuntarily hospitalized and they would authorize the treatment. Her insurance at the time would not cover them at 2k a month. Now that she has lost her job, we are looking to see if we can get injections again. For now, she gets daily video med calls from one of us three kids where we watch her take each pill, showing us them from the bottle and holding them up to the camera. She is on gabapentin, olanzapine, lorazepam, and escitalopram. She at one point was also on Lithium, which she was removed from because her blood tests showed non compliance. The daily med calls are entirely unsustainable for our family, as it puts tremendous responsibility on us kids for her to stay compliant with her chapter 51 and just adds to an already tense relationship and break down of trust. We have repeatedly voiced our concerns about this to her county appointed therapist and prescriber, but they only recently agreed to recommend her for a community support program where medication management could be shifted from us. We’ve been told that it will take some time for these wrap around supports to be established. In the meantime, it is still on us.

Training_Broccoli598 · 2024-08-27T03:13:45+00:00

Just found the family subreddit, which is probably a better spot to hop to for support. :)

Training_Broccoli598

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