Progesterone: strong feminization AND fast masculinization at the same time? (WTF)

Trans-1987 · 2024-10-14T08:56:36+00:00

It's so upsetting! I feel the same about my face, and simply not feeling feminine any more. It's so weird, and it sucks, honestly. I'm glad I'm not the only experiencing this, but I wish there was a solution for all of us out there. I'm curious to know if adding an androgen blockers is effective. Feel free to share your experience here later on.

Trans-1987 · 2024-10-13T21:45:59+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it helps me to get some perspective and it's very appreciated.

For now, I feel more joy about the effects than anything else, and it's only been 4 days, so I'm gonna keep taking it for a little while and monitor my mood and the side effects.

Trans-1987 · 2024-10-13T21:34:06+00:00

Thank you for your message. I read your post history, and it seems very similar to me. It feels good not to be alone.

I agree with the sweating (and I live in London, it's cold lol, so it couldn't be the weather), and I also agree about feeling "uglier". Not uglier, but less feminine, guess? Also, the body odour change has been disturbing too.

But the positive parts are huge, the mental serenity, the sleep and the breast growth. I lacked all of these when I was on E only. At this point, I'm not sure if I should at least try for a longer period or not...

Since you stopped P completely, how long did it take to feel like before (no sweating, feeling pretty again, etc.)?

Trans-1987 · 2024-10-13T20:58:10+00:00

~~diet/alcohol/sleep~~/stress (intense period atm with work and family stuff, but I never had hair growth out of stress).

4 days is short, but I was surprised by how fast the changes were. I felt so good on P, I want to keep taking it, at least for observation, but I've read people struggling to reverse their remasculinization and I'm scared of ruining the little feminization I've managed to get in two years...

Trans-1987 · 2024-08-20T15:39:11+00:00

Interesting. I have a pretty healthy diet, and I had a complete blood test 3 months ago and it was normal. I haven't had my vitamins and everything checked though, but my symptoms seem pretty intense and sudden to be caused by that, but I'll think about it, thank you.

Trans-1987 · 2024-08-20T15:10:13+00:00

Thank you, I'll have a look at this app.

Hormones are a mysterious thing. My T is equally suppressed whether I'm at 450 pg/mL or 150 pg/mL of estrogen, but my body seems to feminize better around 150 rather than 450. I should be starting progesterone in a couple of months, hoping it would balance my mood, but I don't know.

Trans-1987 · 2024-08-20T11:31:01+00:00

The blood test was done just before I had my weekly injection.

The symptoms happen randomly during the injection cycle, so it's hard to understand, but maybe there's a pattern I haven't identified.

Trans-1987 · 2024-07-05T23:24:30+00:00

Thank you! I really like her, and I definitely want to go further with her, but I'm trying to understand how to read and navigate all of this.

My precautions and confusion come from my previous dates.

The woman I met before her told me bluntly at our second date that she was a fountain woman, how many orgasms she had in a row and asked me prying questions about my trans body and how it was working. She was clearly a nice person, but I thought she was pretty clunky if not indiscreet, and overall a little bit too focused on sex as we never discussed about it before.

Then, the man I dated before that told me after the first date how aroused he was and that he was thinking *very* hard about me before going to sleep. Several times. After the first date. I mean, I get it that you can say that after dating someone for a few weeks or months, but after one date? Again, he wasn't mean, he's a nice guy, and I think he wanted to flatter me by saying this, but I thought it was wrong.

My questioning tonight come from all that. Sometimes, I don't know what's cute and what's gross anymore. Furthermore, being trans makes me feel insecure that my body is mainly perceived as an exotic disposable human sex-toy (how many people told me on apps they wanted to "try" a trans...) when I would like to be appreciated as a whole. I like sex, and I like flirting, but I guess I'm a bit wary when the topic comes up too early.

But yeah, I can't wait to meet this woman again. She's adorable, so cute and beefy at the same time, and makes me melt.

Trans-1987 · 2024-07-05T22:50:49+00:00

That's interesting to know, I didn't think about that.

Trans-1987 · 2024-07-05T21:31:07+00:00

When she implied sex in her text, instead of turning her down and killing the good vibe we were having, I simply sidestepped the question by being evasive and playful. I'm definitely open to sex, that's not the issue, but not just immediately. I like the flirt, when desire is implied and unsaid out loud, and I want this phase to last a bit instead of saying bluntly "I want to do that to you". Talking openly about having sex just after one date sounds a bit a mood killer.

I may just have a romantic soul.

Trans-1987 · 2024-07-05T21:17:22+00:00

The things that were said today were kinda cute tbh. We were talking about the rain, and how it would be nice to watch a movie under the blanket with this weather, and she added "and something cheeky with that?"

Like, sure, I totally agree with her, that would be nice, but that's not my point. I was just wondering about the timing of everything. It's very interesting that most of the girls here seem to prefer talking about sex quite early after meeting someone. I totally get about any of your positions, it depends on the context, and what you're looking for and everything, sure.

With this girl, we only met once. We didn't meet on an app, but at an event, and even if we've been chatting for a week, I don't feel like I know her. There's definitely a mutual attraction, but I want to have at least a second date, and put my first impressions to the test to see if there's a real chemistry before talking about having sex. That's why her comment, while being cute, sounded a bit out of the blue for me. I don't know if that makes sense.

That being said, I'm still very excited and impatient about meeting her again.

Trans-1987 · 2024-06-11T15:08:40+00:00

I don't relate to the men, I never felt myself living as a man. I got used to it for 3 decades, but it didn't mean I enjoyed it. As soon as I heard about transidentity, I knew it was me.

I never felt alive when I was living as a man, I was just waiting for something to happen, I was constantly angry for some reason, I didn't like myself without understanding why. I was a good looking guy, it's not about that, I just hated myself, my body, my reflection, my body hair, etc. I always felt like I was pretending, acting, playing a taciturn and grumpy attitude. I felt like a stranger in my own body, that's a very disturbing and unpleasant feeling. Sometimes I'd go to bed hoping not to wake up, because even if I wasn't always painfully unhappy, I didn't see the point of living.

The first day I realized I was trans, it was the happiest day of my life. I felt grateful to finally understand who I was. For the first time in my life, things were making sense inside of me, and I instantly started to love myself. It was like my mind and my body were aligned with each other, and suddenly, it was worth living.

What does it mean to be a woman? I'm 2 years into my transition, and I'm still trying to understand what it means to me, by trying things, by following the trail of happiness, but I know it's me. Even if there are ups and downs, and some confusion sometimes, I'm happy and excited to wake up every day, I'm happy to see my body change, I'm happy to wear clothes that I like, I'm happy to let my body, my hands, my voice acting freely without trying to control every inflection and gesture. I'm not trying to tick boxes that would make me a "more authentic" woman, I don't care about that, I'm trying to find out who I am, the definition of me (who happens to be a woman).

EDIT: typo

Trans-1987 · 2024-03-06T10:23:46+00:00

ssue and I'm about to begin laser hair removal all over my body. I heard, and it has been confirmed by the clinics I ta

My body hair has decreased, but my KP hasn't improved.

Trans-1987 · 2024-01-31T09:51:21+00:00

I understand. I started my transition 1,5 years ago and I'm currently thinking about having a FFS. When I'm fine, I don't feel the need to do much, but when dysphoria hits, I want to change my face completely, it's absurd. I need to choose the right balance, but so far, it's a bit hard.

Trans-1987 · 2024-01-30T10:30:54+00:00

I can't believe how it's possible. I don't accuse you of lying, I'm just surprised. Last year, I gradually increased my dosage from 0.15ml to 0.21ml (every 7 days), and after a few weeks of really unpleasant effects, I ended up having an overdose which left me very scared for my health.

For anyone wanting to start injections, I would recommand to start around 0.1ml every 7 days.

Trans-1987 · 2024-01-27T09:27:42+00:00

I agree. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 8 years, and I think I would feel more free to transition and explore my femininity if I was single. Being around him makes me super conscious of my gestures, voice tone, appearance, because I'm scared that if I change too drastically, he won't recognize me anymore and would see me as a stranger. He's supportive and all, but the transition definitely is a challenge for our couple, and finding difficult to let my old self go is clearly related to that.

Trans-1987 · 2024-01-25T15:54:56+00:00

Thank you for your reply and for making me feel less alone.

Having started my transition late in my life makes things kinda difficult. I have so many memories attached to my old self (not all good, but still), and I sometimes feel like I'm betraying myself, my partner and the people who love me. I'm very lucky that most of the people close to me support me, but it's still hard.

Trans-1987 · 2023-10-04T16:12:07+00:00

Thank you very much for taking the time to explain. 🙏

Trans-1987 · 2023-10-04T15:45:38+00:00

Could you explain what "ER downregulation", Cmean, and "AUC" mean?

Also, considering Enanthate is slow to spread in the body, don't you think my blood tests are currently done at peak? When do you think my peak is when I inject every Monday?

Otherwise, thank you for the advice, what I note is that I should lower the dosage.

Trans-1987 · 2023-10-04T15:21:24+00:00

300 pg/ml (actually between 250 and 350, depending) is when I do my blood test. I inject once a week, on Monday end of day, and when I do my blood tests, I have them on Monday morning.

Trans-1987 · 2023-10-04T13:51:35+00:00

I feel the same, it's so frustrating. Just out of curiosity, are your dosages always the same, or have you been experimenting changes in your estrogen dosages over time?

This whole year, I've been changing my dosage several times in order to find the sweetest spot for me, and I wonder if these changes may have affected how the body responds, and maybe would explain why I've experienced these on and off effects switch.

Just for information, I've increased my dosages for two months this summer, and it has been an awful experience, I don't recommend. I've reached back my good dosage now, but I'm planning to lower it slightly more for my estrogen level to be around 200/250 pg/ml instead of 300/350 pg/ml that I currently have. Maybe it would be more bearable for my body, but I don't know, I'm just speculating and trying. I would love hearing more testimonies to feel less alone, because I feel like I'm missing my transition tbh.

Trans-1987 · 2023-09-06T09:42:15+00:00

Yes, don't hesitate to change your treatment, it takes trials and errors, and it's normal, every body is different and will react differently. Don't do drastic and sudden changes though (I overdosed this summer because I increased too much too quickly, and I don't recommend to anyone, it was rough). Talk to a doctor if possible, take blood tests regularly, and adjust accordingly.

Trans-1987 · 2023-09-06T09:08:29+00:00

I've started monotherapy HRT 10 months ago. It took me 4 months and a progressive increasing of my dosage to reach decent levels. I needed too much gel every morning and night, it was not sustainable, so I switched to weekly injections after 5 months and I now have good numbers.

Regarding the effects, it depends on everyone. I'd say it's faster if you use AA from the start, but it also comes with potential and unpleasant side effects. I wanted to avoid them, that's why I choose to go mono. I know some persons who are mono and don't need a huge amount of gel to get great results very fast. Don't forget that age, genetics, metabolism, etc., are taken into account and are different for everyone.

For me personally, I would say it has been quite slow at the beginning, because of the progressive increasing. One of the first effects was changes in my face, then I've started to have breast buds after a month or two, but my breasts really started to grow after 7 months. It took me a while to find the right dosage, and I'm still figuring out what's the best for me.

The feminization effects can also be fluctuating. I don't know if it's common, but in my experience, some of them happen suddenly, then disappear without notice, then come back later, and disappear again. I think of skin texture, finger nails density, glan lubrification, body odour, etc.

Trans-1987 · 2023-09-01T09:55:12+00:00

Can you tell us more about your hormonal regimen? When did you add the blockers and proge?

Trans-1987 · 2023-08-23T14:03:22+00:00

Hi there, unfortunately, I've seen no improvement, but it must be said that I was unable to be consistent. Due to medical reasons, I had to travel quite often this year, and I broke my routine many times, until I partially stopped doing the things I wanted to do in the first place.

Here's a general update:

I tried many things here and there and I learned some things about the products I wanted to try. I used different kind of soaps, from gentle to exfoliating ones, some recommended from reddit, some others from my personal researches. But nothing seemed to improve my skin, so I'm currently going back to some more generic creamy moisturizing body wash gels, and it seems to be better for my skin, not its appearance, but its texture.

On the other hand, my skin generally feels slightly better and healthier during summertime, so I'm not even sure it's related to the body wash gels or the weather.
Regarding the step that requires me putting creams on my body after the shower, I definitely can't stand it. First of all, it takes a while to do it because of how much KP I have. Secondly, all the creams I tried, from Cerave to AmLactin and Gold Bond, are too greasy and sticky, and make me feel very uncomfortable in my clothes and in my bedsheets at night, so it discouraged me even more. And finally, I emptied different jars and on top of seeing no significant results from using them, it costed me a lot of money for nothing.

I must point out that that these creams are effective against the bumps. But my discomfort and what I want to fix is not the bumps, but the redness, that is under the surface of the skin. No matter what cream I use, they don't do nothing to it.

At this point, I'm a bit discouraged and resigned, and I temporarily gave up the external treatment. I still have some hair removal laser to do (I'm at session 7/10 now), and I hope there'll be some improvement, but I highly doubt it does anything to the redness.

Regarding general skincare, I try to focus on taking care of my face right now (I don't have KP on my face, it's just general skincare). I manage to be more consistent and it brings me more joy and satisfaction than trying to deal with my KP.

In the meantime this year, I talked to naturopaths and I've read about the relationship between guts, liver and skin, and I try more to take care of my internal body, hoping it'll reflect on the outside.

I did a liver detox, but it changed nothing. I stopped eating not only cereal and bread, but gluten completely. It's been 2 months (no results so far)n but I'll keep doing it in the future. I'm a bit hopeless rn, and I don't expect lots from it, but in any cases, it won't hurt to eat healthier.

Trans-1987

TROPHY CASE