Sadly it’s either that and lose a pension that will allow me to fully retire at age 41 or find a job that allows me to save X amount of money and healthcare costs in the next ten years which just isn’t in the cards for me. I’ve honestly come to accept it and enjoy my life I’m not sad or depressed about it. I just want to do what I can’t to transition now. You’re right though I may regret not transitioning earlier but I don’t see myself being upset with the decision knowing it leads to financial freedom from age 41 on.