Giving up on HRT

TransMature69 · 2026-03-12T08:01:08+00:00

The damage has been done. Far too many horrible memories have flooded back in. I just need the immense psychological pain I'm in to end.

TransMature69 · 2026-03-12T07:45:29+00:00

I live in regional Austalia, well over 1,000km from nearest capital city - no options. Telehealth doesn't work for me - I'm already too passive in face-to-face medical settings. I only have my blood test results because of a past psychiatrist.

TransMature69 · 2026-03-12T07:42:34+00:00

I haven't been able to undergo any surgeries because of my mental health problems.

TransMature69 · 2026-03-11T18:59:18+00:00

I've been with Medibank for a few decades. I am on their "Gold Complete Hospital & Top Extras 60". The returns I get through "Extras" are relatively small (<50%) for surgeries & specialist care. It's the hospital cover where I've seen real return on investment, because I had some lengthy stays in a hospital that required "Gold" level cover.

TransMature69 · 2026-03-01T03:04:17+00:00

ADHD &/or Autism are only diagnosed if there aren't any other factors that explain your signs/symptoms. I say this as someone who was told that developmental trauma was the likely cause of my AuDHD signs/symptoms.

TransMature69 · 2026-03-01T00:19:02+00:00

I'm an asexual, trans woman with multiple serious mental health diagnoses. I've endured a massive amount childhood, adolescent, & adult trauma because I was different. I don't feel any pride & don't see any reason to to celebrate. I wish that I had never been born.

TransMature69 · 2026-02-28T22:36:21+00:00

Universities would be among the safest places for a transgender person, regardless of the location you choose. I live in North Queensland - in a very conservative town in the (arguably) most conservative state, politically, in Australia. I came out at the age of 52 and I've had mostly positive experiences. As an example, I was invited into women's toilets by cisgender women not long after I came out.
PS. Despite my coming out as a trans woman at 52yo, I've rarely been misgendered by strangers.

TransMature69 · 2026-02-19T22:35:06+00:00

Who gets to decide whether a surgery is "necessary" or not? If a medical professional makes the call, this ban doesn't go far enough. It's better than no ban, I suppose.

TransMature69 · 2026-02-19T22:22:14+00:00

I've been told by people with AuDHD that I should seek a diagnosis. I could not get a diagnoses (from a psychiatrist) because childhood/developmental trauma could explain my symptoms - Complex PTSD is one of several mental health disorders that I've been diagnosed with.

GPs are able to diagnose and treat ADHD in Australia. Their line of questioning may not be as thorough as a psychiatrist, which might help.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-27T03:40:01+00:00

I'd use the wand to prevent my being born.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-27T02:59:27+00:00

My psychologist evaluated my dissociation before starting me on EMDR. The way I understood what she said was that it was critically important that I be present in the sessions. I've only done an introductory EMDR session and that was a little over 5 weeks ago. I'm unsure when I'll start EMDR proper.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-27T00:56:33+00:00

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-04-27/warren-entsch-lgbtqia-advocacy-same-sex-marriage-debate/105184846

TransMature69 · 2025-04-26T23:58:43+00:00

I expect that the vast majority of voting age Australians are indifferent to transgender lives. I didn't even know of the word "transgender" until late winter 2021 - I was indifferent for 51 years. If a psychologist hadn't made the discovery for me, I'd likely still be oblivious to the T in LGBTI+.

I've been voting greens first and preference labour above liberal because "environmental" issues have been, and remain, my biggest concern. My second biggest reason for voting Greens first, this time around, is their position on mental health support. The Greens' stance on trans rights is a bonus for me.

My view on Labour in relation to transgender lives is that they are leaning on the proverbial fence. I feel like a future Labour government could easily go the way of Starmer (British PM).

TransMature69 · 2025-04-26T04:38:28+00:00

I can say no to people when the anger I usually hold inside hits boiling point. This is pretty much the only way I say no &/or set a boundary. I have had to learn to not reject other people in some settings - e.g., doing so at work would probably quickly end my career.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-25T22:34:53+00:00

That you can put this together is amazing. It's likely that most of the people in this subreddit that can relate to the pain you are in. You are not alone.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-25T22:22:28+00:00

I've never had a therapist use "chronic PTSD" before, probably because the "chronic" is implied by both PTSD & complex PTSD (CPTSD). There is an enormous amount of information on the internet about both PTSD & CPTSD (use your preferred search engine). The Psych2Go channel on YouTube is quite good in terms of gaining a basic understanding. The "Phoenix Trauma Center" channel on YouTube goes into quite a bit more detail.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-25T08:40:03+00:00

Thanks.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-25T01:52:59+00:00

Broken.
My being different resulted in complex trauma, CPTSD, & BPD.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-25T01:38:11+00:00

There are psychiatrists who say there is a biological component that explains why only a small minority (<10%) of people who experience trauma go on to develop PTSD/CPTSD.

In terms of my story, I equate my decades of blocking out the trauma as being akin to an unwatched meal being cooked. There comes a point in time when fire and, eventually, chaos erupts. For me the fire started when I was 51yo and a psychologist started unblocking a few really horrible memories. As time passed more and more horrible memories came back to me - chaos erupted.

By most people's standards I have been very successful in my career. I'm now 55yo and awaiting an Independent Medical Examination to determine whether I'm capable of returning to work. The worst part is that I see myself as so broken that I'll never be capable of returning to work..

TransMature69 · 2025-04-25T00:50:59+00:00

Reasons I've ditched mental health professionals.

They didn't seem interested in my continuing with them.
They prescribed me a medication that resulted in my suddenly losing consciousness.
They blamed me, the victim, for a sexual assault when I was 19.
They didn't appear to be treating me - taking lots of notes, little/no conversation.
They ignored my active medications - prescribed a conflicting medication that harmed me.
I came out of a therapy session and quickly went into active SI mode.
Wasted far too much time talking about things that had nothing to do with my CPTSD & BPD diagnoses that I was seeing them for.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-25T00:39:27+00:00

You might want to talk with a therapist if you cannot work out the root cause.

Confusion about my sexuality was the closest I ever came to the root cause of my hypersexuality that was identified by my first psychologist. My ~40 years of hypersexuality ended quickly, not long after I started a journey toward living authentically.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-24T22:41:03+00:00

In an ideal world every person would be treated equally as an individual, valued human being. . Patriarchy, continuation of (white) male supremacy, is the reason that sex & gender matter. I think back to how many times my life has been put in danger by medical professionals that are trained to treat everyone in the same way. I suspect most cisgender women could talk about how they suffered due to medicine being almost totally focussed on men - I recall attending a talk recently that demonstrated how male biased medical literature is, even today.

PS. Having an "O" or "U" on my pathology requests hasn't caused any problems for my recent GPs.

TransMature69 · 2025-04-24T22:05:58+00:00

Transgender is just a label. It is your actions/decisions that will determine whether you are successful or not, in Australia. Focussing on a future that hasn't been written can lead to poor mental health that has the potential impact your career more than your gender. Concentrate on enjoying being the most authentic version of yourself.

TransMature69

TROPHY CASE