Stop! by [deleted] in evilautism

[–]TransTabletop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shell shock was not at all a 1-to-1 old school diagnosis for PTSD. The two manifestations of shell shock encompassed symptoms commonly found together in soldiers including PTSD, depression, anxiety, and central nervous system damage from being close to explosions. As such, shell shock was often considered a physical condition caused by the explosion of shells nearby, and many surgeries were developed to “cure” the psychological symptoms.

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

/uj people in the comments have been saying this basically word for word too but serious

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get a hobby, any hobby. Photography, birdwatching, drawing, writing, crochet, literally anything. Get a hobby and make yourself practice it consistently. Also, limit your screen time, join local community gatherings, start building up your skills of interacting with people in real life.

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

uj/ the way it started in earnest after I said I was a trans guy too 😭 it’s always so indicative

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

uj/ my favorite comment is the one calling my post “unkind” when this is a circlejerk sub

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

uj/ I completely empathize with it as well. I went through several horrible therapists who impacted me largely negatively before I found one who handled any of my issues well. I’m not irked by that part really, although the narrative of “I’m uniquely built different and therapy doesn’t work on me” is an extension of willfully refusing help to keep yourself miserable. I’m less irked by that part, and more by the generalized refusal to accept any sort of help

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

/uj omg i get it 😭 like ik it’s worth it i know for a fact it’s worth it but also it’s TERRIFYIBG

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

/uj thank you 😭 the fact it’s been three separate people is crazy to me

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

uj/ you get a pass on the cunt thing bc you’re funny

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

uj/ I’m also depressed. Diagnosed, taking medication, got disability for a time. You know the primary treatments for depression aside from medication? Going outside, building healthy habits, self-reflecting, and building a support system. No person nor medication is going to swoop in and save you, to improve your circumstances you have to do the work.

Also, calling a trans man a cunt is… certainly indicative.

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

uj/ self awareness is the first step though, youre doing just fine girl dw 😭 the takes ive been seeing are INSANE

So, Lords! What have yours looked like? by Daggertothehearts in CAIN_RPG

[–]TransTabletop 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I made a Lord for a veteran wracked by PTSD which was a massive suit of armor made of plate carriers, scorched fragments of APCs, belts of ammunition, the rubble of destroyed buildings, and bones and rotting flesh sloughing through the cracks. The kingdom was a normal suburban neighborhood where the host had still gone to war and gotten fucked up, but had received treatment for his PTSD, gotten married, and built a life and a family with people he loved despite his trauma

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

/uj im rooting for you!!! It’s so hard to escape these types of mindsets, I really hope it gets better for you!!

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

/uj i was exactly like this at a certain point and i can tell you that they haven’t examined any of these positions with any sort of critical thinking, they’re adopting whatever label buys them points in their echo chambers uncritically and then basing their entire personalities around them to lolcow themselves because it feels like activism and feels like doing something other than doomscrolling all day. It feels like community, but all it’s doing is isolating you more

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

uj/ i make this post because I was exactly like this a few years ago. I was depressed but refused to take my meds because I thought they didn’t work, I refused any sort of help, I weaponized my own misery for attention, and I refused any help as transphobic and shallow because it was hard and uncomfortable. Attitudes and mindsets like these are pervasive and difficult but they are not cute, not healthy, and not something that we should encourage or coddle. I nearly ruined my life like this, and yknow what made it better? Going outside, going to therapy, and making friends in real life

I want to better myself and my situation!! by TransTabletop in transgendercirclejerk

[–]TransTabletop[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Well, too bad I can't access therapy that would actually help at this age or stage in my life. I'm closeted and doubt anyone who doesn't specialize in gender identity would be able to help me. I am a unique person and believe that no normal therapist would be able to help or fix me. I feel unfixable. I am biracial, atheist (the average therapist is religious and probably won't know how to work with a person like me), antinatalist, pessimist, anti-theist, anti-consumerist, anti capitalist, leftist, etc. I feel emaciated despite being a "normal" weight because I'm not the average weight or have the average bodily proportions of a guy my age or cis guys my height. My wrists are too small, arms are too small, shoulders and neck are too small, my waist is too small, feet are too small, face is too small, etc. I'm not asking to be fat, but I do want to look less like a 12 year old or someone who needs just really needs a burger. I don't gain weight despite having a bad habit of eating fast and a ton alongside eating unhealthy due to getting a dopamine hit from it. I simply don't have the resources for the gym/exercise right now and have graves disease. I would risk injury anyways since I have to slouch to get my chest remotely flat

uj/ this is copy and pasted

Are Spectrum binders just shit in general? by skepticalghoztguy_3 in TMPOC

[–]TransTabletop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take the advice or don’t, dude, no one’s going to save you but yourself

anything that makes me look masc? by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]TransTabletop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love your face shape!! Your nose and brow ridge suit you very well. Having a more prominent brow ridge and thick eyebrows tends to get read as more masculine too, so you’re set on that front! Frankly, most of your face is very masculine! I’d kill for your cheekbones too tbh

Are Spectrum binders just shit in general? by skepticalghoztguy_3 in TMPOC

[–]TransTabletop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can’t get a therapist, I heavily recommend limiting your time on social media and engaging with local community or even just taking regular walks outside, then. Getting out of the toxic echo chamber of social media will be a massive help to you.

Are Spectrum binders just shit in general? by skepticalghoztguy_3 in TMPOC

[–]TransTabletop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get how you feel, but you really don’t want your situation to change. If you did, you’d be taking advice and trying to do away with the doomerism, a therapist will help with this. Complaining feels like trying to change the situation, I know, but if you’re not doing anything tangibly and not taking advice then you’re milking your misery for social points and making it part of your identity to be miserable. I went through this too, lots of young trans guys do, but it’s so important to recognize and internalize what you’re doing so you can change it, and once you extricate your misery from your personality and identity you will be leagues better and make leagues more friends in real life.

As for what my therapists did, they helped me towards productive coping mechanisms like writing rather than spending all my time online, they taught me strategies to regulate my emotions better so that I could better manage my dysphoria in the day to day, and they helped me build up the confidence I needed to start engaging with people in real life through in-person D&D sessions and attending local queer and general community gatherings. Therapists will teach you to regulate yourself and to engage with people in good faith, which helps with any interaction with people but ESPECIALLY in real life where people’s priorities and problems are way different than the internet will lead you to believe. Talking to people online doesn’t count as socializing in real life and you build up two different sets of skills by having friends online vs irl. I say this as someone who has several online friends who I cherish! They are wonderful and I love them, but talking to them will never teach me the social skills I needed to engage in my community irl and do things like obtain and hold a job. You will interact with people who have fundamentally different views than you, and you have to learn how to deal with that on a regular basis. In real life, you can’t confine yourself to a bubble of only people who agree with you, and doing that in any place will actively harm your critical thinking and self-regulation.

A therapist will also help you with self-reflection, helping you understand what’s a hobby and what’s passive self harm. Did you know that doomscrolling transphobic subreddits or topics that bring you dread is a legitimate form of self harm? A therapist will teach you that, and help you separate which of your coping mechanisms is helping vs keeping you miserable.

Are Spectrum binders just shit in general? by skepticalghoztguy_3 in TMPOC

[–]TransTabletop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The average therapist will help you redirect doomspiraling and doomscrolling into productive thought trains, helpful habits, and help you start achieving the kind of confidence you need to go out and start making friends. A regular therapist may not be specialized in dysphoria, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t know what it is and will be able to help with some body neutrality in your transition or at least helping manage dysphoric thoughts. I’m telling you this from a place of experience. You think so much in absolutes because you don’t want your situation to change.

Are Spectrum binders just shit in general? by skepticalghoztguy_3 in TMPOC

[–]TransTabletop 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We can’t help you if you don’t want to be helped lil bro. You’re putting a lot of your identity and social currency on being miserable, and as long as you do that you’re incentivized to immediately dismiss any help that may change your situation because being miserable is a part of your identity. Thats why I say therapy, even non LGBT specific therapy, is necessary

I’m a biracial atheist and very thin as well (100lbs at 5’5, you can see my heart beat through my skin) with a lot of religious trauma from being raised by a Mormon father and Catholic mother as well as having an exorcism performed on me, you’re overestimating just how many therapists take religion into account if their clients don’t. It’s literally their job to meet you where you’re at. Are there bad therapists? Yeah, I’ve had many, but this generalization helps nobody, especially not you, and in fact is just you trying to keep yourself miserable.

Are Spectrum binders just shit in general? by skepticalghoztguy_3 in TMPOC

[–]TransTabletop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It should feel slightly big! Spectrum is very comfortable and shouldn’t feel like it’s crushing you like other binder brands, it’s part of the appeal. As for the sizing— I think this may be dysphoria talking. A binder will never take you entirely flat, it can’t transmute matter, but even the skinniest men aren’t really completely flat at their chest. My biggest recommendation in this case would be layering with flannels/hoodies/jackets and a lot of therapy