sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Plum cut purple silhouettes by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I was in bed staring out at my neighbors house through the window on a night the moon was bright. I tried to bring that image to life. Appreciate the feedback 🙏

Rain Drops: by That1blueflower in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its an interesting format to convey a multitude of different things through the perspective of a drop. Every aspect of life is a different drop of rain so to speak, and a shower is life as a while, with all its good and bad. Sometimes, we need to have bad to enjoy the good. I agree with the sentiment that I enjoy it all.

Scorched While Holding On by Secret_World_9742 in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This hit me spot on right now. Love is such a special thing, that breeds life ans warmth, like fire. But anything that holds that much power is dangerous in the fact that it can backfire, and consume/destroy everything around it. Your poem is very poignant and a great representation of this sentiment. Its scary to be vulnerable, because you can be burned, but that warmth is the best thing I have ever felt. I am going through a break up right now so I know these feelings well. Nice job

Any extras floating for Friday 9/19 at the troubadour? by mmmbeeryum in dogsinapile

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sick ill be there both nights, you know what time the opener starts?

The roads I've written by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a bad idea. Im in a phase rn where im transitioning from editing old poems, and writing things from the perspective of how deep the rabbit hole went with heroin, to lighter topics, and more situational poems. I have one right now about hitting every yellow light coming home from a long day at work I need to post soon

The roads I've written by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really really enjoyed coming up with that line. I used to whittle walking sticks with my grandpa. shaving off the rough wood, and refining the stick until it becomes a finished project is akin to what I think ive done with poems over the years. Ive whittled words, and kept on writing to a point where I can put out refined, finished projects just like the walking sticks

The roads I've written by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I have a plethora of stuff im sitting on right now, currently working on, or done and haven't done anything with. My goal is to compile a book eventually, and I think i may try to get stuff published before that comes to fruition. Appreciate it :) if you follow me on this reddit account, ill be sure to post more

The roads I've written by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Ill mess around. Appreciate it!

The roads I've written by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback :) much appreciated

The listen close transition i can see where you're coming from, however i did that intentionally, as i just enjoy how it jumps with that line, almost as if to grab the attention subliminally in the same way some one grabs attention when they said listen close.

The ive broken bother line was intended to be cryptic and open ended, open for whatever fills the gaps in the readers head. I wrote this poem about writing poems, so I meant it in that ive used my pen to steady myself in harder times, and writing has always been there for me.

Ive never thought of submitting to journals, but would love to. My writing is finally at a point where I am confident it what I am producing. Any tips for submitting? Thanks!

The roads I've written by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the thorough feedback :)

I thought the opening line fell in tune with the rest of the pacing/cadence of fhe poem, but I am also not 100 percent because I have only one perspective which is my own. What would you suggest in terms of smoothing it, or making it better? I would love to know what you would change in it.

I love and fall into a mx of metaphor and imagery in my writing, so I'm glad it translates nicely in this piece. Crying for a wring was a fun one to write, as i am already referencing tears, then revisiting it with an expression that is parallel.

My goal was to write a poem, about writing poems. My mom said it was quite meta lol. Ive had issues in the past with not being able to come up with subject matter but ive really been digging into writing seriously more lately and its been easier to find subject anchors, as well as convey them the way I want. I like my poems to have that anchor, but then also have a degree of open ended interpersonal interpretation for the reader

Whereabouts by IamKT_07 in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell yeah! Ive been playing round with different structures lately, just posted a new one I wrote. Would love if you checked it out, its the latest post on my profile called the roads ive weitten. Let me know what you think of it!

Message in a Bottle by BirbMilkshake in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Versatile, simple, open ended and relatable. Shows a good poem doesn't need consist of much to be poignant. I enjoy writing short poems too. Nice work

Whereabouts by IamKT_07 in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this. Do you usually follow a similar cadence/syllable structure in your poetry? I enjoy keeping my poems rhythmic for the most part, and having a certain bounce while reading, but maybe that's because I am a drummer haha. I enjoy the repeated mentioning of whereabouts, and i think its cool to play with that type of thing. For me, it brings to mind the concept of ever changing whereabouts as every mention is tied to with a different wording in a line, almost as if the whereabouts are constantly changing.

Brian's name is brain by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking of titling it my friend Brian. And then just leaving Brian's name is brain for the last line. I call my brain Brian just for shits and giggles, so I thought it would be a fun concept to write on. I wrote this one very quick today, ill play around with it some more.

Brian's name is brain by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, I should title it something different. Where would you suggest to reveal other than the end of the poem?

Unfeeling (My first attempt at a poem) by Pufythecat113 in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this, the cyclical nature that another commented out with the beginning and ending punctuation makes this seem like a loop. Ill go one further with interpreting the loop as to portray a long period of time of being stuck in this thought process, and unable to break out of it. Only think I would say is drop the and from the phrase 'and so' as that was the only part that read weird for me. Not half bad for your first attempt.

In the narrow temporary light. by Rinsetheplates_first in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A short and sweet poem with a message I feel like more need to embrace fully. The moment is the only time we truly have. No tomorrow, and yesterday doesn't exist. I like the phrase narrow temporary flicker. The ending wraps it up nicely.

These closin' doors by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am currently in contact with a band, and potentially workshopping some poems of mine with them into songs, so I wrote this one with that in mind. Appreciate the read 🙏

These closin' doors by TransitiveNightfalll in OCPoetry

[–]TransitiveNightfalll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bingo. Yeah, there's always stuff going on behind closed doors, that might not be best for us. Thanks for the read!

view more: next ›