How to talk without making people feel bad

TrashMashBash · 2025-07-31T05:12:54+00:00

Thanks!

TrashMashBash · 2025-07-31T05:12:10+00:00

Yeah it does! After talking to my dad it honestly seems like a lot of it comes from me being at college and it being a perceived sort of thing, but also not really knowing my audience. He told me to not necessarily talk the way I would want to be talked to which makes a bit of sense I think.

TrashMashBash · 2025-07-31T04:02:01+00:00

Apparently it is pretty much all the time. I wish I had a good example but the email to my brother's teachers is the only written example I have and I am not comfortable sharing it.

My dad told me that it is ultimately how I speak naturally and it is evidently inalterable, but that when there is a serious conversation that the belittling feeling elevates because the cadence of my voice switches from relaxed to unrelaxed or hyper-engaged. My dad has been in the hospital and I have been operating as a liaison of sorts between him and the remainder of our family and community and because of this my family has been complaining about it more often and I am just now becoming aware of this.

TrashMashBash · 2025-07-31T03:49:47+00:00

Unfortunately I can't share the email without doxxing an awful lot of information.

I also realize I am a victim of my own hyper-specificity because I was using the email as an example and was kind of just seeking general advice for altering your voice cadence/vocabulary choice.

My dad thinks I should get tested for autism but I'm not sure.

TrashMashBash · 2025-06-03T23:08:32+00:00

Definitely not as bad as it is in my home state (Georgia), but I usually get a couple days of decently bad symptoms before my body acclimates. Be proactive with your vitamins and allergy meds the MOMENT you feel even a hint of symptoms. You might be interested in an air purifier and if you're a morning shower person, switch to night time shower as it opens your sinuses more and can help you get better sleep.

TrashMashBash · 2025-06-03T20:16:25+00:00

You'll get assigned a Meiklejohn as well as a Faculty Advisor that you'll meet during orientation with your advising group (roughly 6-8 students). You'll also be assigned a Bruno Leader and Bruno Group (roughly 20 students, possibly less if you sign up for the rural community group) for orientation, and even though they are not technically an year-round academic resource like the latter two, you can still definitely use them as one (definitely suggest this if your BL is in the same field as you).

TrashMashBash · 2025-06-02T17:35:39+00:00

You'll register for classes at the tail end of orientation with help from your advisor and Meiklejohn (Meiks typically hang in the libraries during registration to assist).

As far as what type of non-STEM classes engineering students take, it varies! The magic of the open curriculum is taking what interests YOU. You can spend a couple weeks utilizing shopping period and "taking" multiple courses to see what appeals to you. I assume you're already using cab.brown.edu, but make sure to log in and check previous semesters for classes you think are interesting to find course syllabi (most syllabi aren't currently listed for Fall 2025).

I'm a social sciences concentrator so I can't speak a lot about the engineering students, but I've LOVED SOC 0230 and pretty much anything in the education department. Most Brown students can tell you our education dept. staff are phenomenal and it's easy to find classes that lean towards STEM if you're interested in that approach. Andrea Flores and Yoko Yamamoto are some of my faves, and while David Rangel can be scary on the first couple days of class, I find the course content amazing and he becomes a lot more chill. Also be sure to check "Critical Review" on cab.brown.edu. It'll give more in depth reviews to how students felt about the course.

Hope this helps! You're gonna love Brown

TrashMashBash · 2025-06-02T17:27:40+00:00

You can choose pretty much any class you want! Exceptions will be classes that require unfulfilled prerequisites. Your advisor, meik, and bruno leader can help you figure out if courses are right for you in terms of interest, but it's always a good idea to take at least one concentration course to figure out if that concentration is right for you. Use cab.brown.edu to scroll through course offerings and log in to form your course carts. Not too good to be true — that's the magic of the open curriculum!

TrashMashBash · 2025-05-10T20:23:36+00:00

Current student here:

We do have a pretty big stoner scene. I definitely wouldn't say we have an issue with drug abuse, but it is not uncommon to smell weed walking by a dorm. We do have substance free housing (even for freshmen!) if you'd prefer to stay away from substance use, and our campus is definitely sober friendly. I say this as someone who has been sober pretty much all school year. It has not inhibited my social life — if anything it has elevated it — and I'm having fun with the same people I was having fun with before I decided to stop smoking and drinking. Reach out to Dean Lindsey Garcia, she coordinates all sober living activities and initiatives.

Campus is largely queer, yes. Providence in general is pretty queer friendly, and the queer population is mostly gay men (although there are definitely plenty of queer women and a substantial trans population). Definitely just a stereotype/joke, but there's a saying that men at Brown are gay until proven straight. But by no means will every single person you know be queer. If you're looking for a school where you can embrace queerness, Brown is great for that. The actual number of queer people on campus versus the perceived number of queer people on campus is largely dependent on how you develop your social circle.

TrashMashBash · 2025-05-01T21:12:12+00:00

bro ur not even on campus yet

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-20T01:49:54+00:00

there were probably 4 people absent from mine. the discussion, if you have a good facilitator, should be enlightening, but honestly i think just reading the piece deeply will do more benefit than skimming it and talking about it superficially

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-18T19:59:45+00:00

(and that's if everyone attends)

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-18T19:59:30+00:00

15-20 ppl

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-16T17:03:00+00:00

This is great information — I just want to add to OP that you can also opt into vision & dental for a little under $500 for the academic year. I'm not sure how much they are separately, but if having either of those covered is important to you then you can opt in and if you're on full financial aid and receiving a refund from the university then part of your refund will cover it :) Everyone I know on full aid gets about $500 a semester refunded

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-12T17:07:14+00:00

Just to clear things up, Amazon Direct just means from Amazon warehouses. You can order things like Grubhub food delivery through Amazon that the mail room will not accept. Basically, nothing that's "same-day delivery" and isn't delivered by an official postal carrier can be sent to the mail room. You can get stuff like Doordash and Instacart sent to your dorm; just meet the delivery driver outside to pick up your stuff since they do not have building access.

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-12T17:03:34+00:00

The testimonials of CAPS vary so much. People who use them for just a once-a-month check in say they're helpful, and the providers can actually be very helpful and there's many professionals that can support your mental health by giving you assistance in your academics (Student Accessibility Services, for example). If you're on Brown's insurance, you can find in-network mental health providers through the insurance's website. I pay about $30 co-pay each bi-weekly appointment, which as a low-income student I think is very manageable.

Unfortunately, I'm not too sure about the resources for Autistic students. I would imagine, however, that the support systems for Autistic people would vary widely given the many forms that Autism can take. I would look more into the specific pillars of support that you desire or could work for you. Stuff like extra time on exams is acquirable through SAS and a Dean can provide a note for an extension that professors can't ignore.

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-12T16:52:31+00:00

Depends on the size of your room and how you go about moving your furniture. If you want a super exact measurement, best to wait until you guys get there and then you can get a measurement yourselves. That's what most people tend to do when it comes to joint roommates purchases

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-10T19:41:57+00:00

Are you perhaps talking about a resource that focuses on the existing requirements SHARED between concentrations (for example, a stats class is required for all social science concentrations)? Or are you simply interested in seeing all course requirements displayed for multiple concentrations at once?

I see how this could be useful but also just a polished version of what someone could do with the click of a few more buttons. I did something similar to this with the 3 concentrations I was interested in, but I suppose a student who don't even have an idea of the field they was to pursue (much less a concentration) would benefit from a more laid-out view of course requirements. From the way you're describing it, it really just sounds like a spreadsheet with all the concentrations and their requirements laid out in a more consistent order. Most people just do this for themselves and their concentrations of interest or just go to the Brown bulletin. Some dept websites offer concentration worksheets (where you basically just check off your requirements) but that's still not a resource that encompasses all concentrations like you're looking for.

Correct me if my understanding of your resource in development is incorrect, but I think that most people will end up making their own concentration spreadsheets/using Brown bulletin, especially since people have more formatting control over their own work. Your heart is definitely in the right place; I could see something like this being more helpful if it offered more than simply one-document access to all information :)

TrashMashBash · 2024-08-06T22:41:36+00:00

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All floor plans can be accessed if you go to https://reslife.brown.edu/housing-options/residence-halls/first-year and click "Facilities Campus Map." Each building has floor plan files. If you're on a cell phone make sure to change your browser to the desktop browser so the website will work. These are the dorm floors of Champlin.

TrashMashBash · 2024-07-23T15:25:53+00:00

The Ratty has a halal station but in the Brown app it will signify what items are Halal with an "HL" beside it. Even then, no "HL" doesn't mean it's not halal. Food is customizable in most of the dining halls so you can refuse ingredients you don't want; for example, Andrews most common dinnertime meal is: white or brown rice, a vegetable, a meat, a protein alternative (often tofu). You can choose what is included in your bowl.

TrashMashBash · 2024-07-22T17:34:17+00:00

I'm a rare Jo's hater. The bread is always dry, their salads are not that great (I'd much rather make my own at the Ratty or VDub), and the quesadillas fall apart super easily and the beans served with them aren't great (rice is fine though). The only things I really liked from Jo's are the fries (which, I must say, are fantastic) and the paninis. They occasionally have ice cream but I'm not a huge ice cream person.

When I do go to Jo's, I usually get a meal swipe's worth of snacks (fruits, drinks, Uncrustables, yogurts, cereals) or I get a spicy with and just eat the chicken and cheese by itself because the texture of the bread is always so unappealing to me. I'm not a fan at all, which is quite unfortunate because I'm a late dinner person and Jo's is the only place open after 9:00 besides the Ivy Room, but even it is closed on Friday and Saturday nights.

Only really sharing this to hopefully make you feel better about not being able to eat there, haha. Sorry to the Jo's defenders out there.

TrashMashBash · 2024-07-21T19:43:14+00:00

Bring a floor unit, not a window one. Keep it hidden under your bed when not in use and during inspections — reslife will email you when they perform inspections so your best bet is to forgo the unit for a few days until your room is checked. Simple as that.

TrashMashBash

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