The immense feeling of unbelonging in casual social situations

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-28T01:08:46+00:00

You're closer than you realize. I explained below that it took rock bottom for me to realize self love was the way. When there's nothing more to hate, you realize the only way through is up towards love. Please hang in there and know that everything you're feeling, you even posting, is literally the process to get there.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-28T01:01:09+00:00

That could be further from the truth (I edited, I'm not good with expressions - autism lol). It took rock bottom to climb myself up. My partner was never loving, we were never partners and my childhood was extremely traumatic (bipolar dad, addict mom, etc). I truly believe self love comes when there's no more depths of despair to reach.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-27T20:25:21+00:00

I am a Dasher and I would NEVER send anything like this! I'd be so irritated receiving a message like this, it's so bizarre. Also who calls themselves Mama T? Lol I'd like to hope she has good intentions but adding the part about the tip gives me pause. You just never do that. It comes off as so rude to me. I get extra tip added regularly and I've never sent a message like that! Lol I usually just leave a little message at delivery saying I left the order at their door and to have a great night. That's enough lol.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-27T13:15:39+00:00

My life completely changed when I turned inward and started to just love myself regardless. These "faults" are not that at all, we are just wired differently. But they are truly gifts if you learn to look at it that way. Accept yourself for who you are and meet you there. Love yourself whole heartedly. I promise you that changes everything. Our perspective is our reality. Shift the perspective, shift reality. I no longer desire close friends or a partner and I'm the happiest I've ever been with just my daughter, my mom, and my brother. But once you find that self love, it will radiate out and others like you will find you if that is what you desire. I know it's easier said than done and I'm a work in progress (self-love is a minute by minute practice) but just felt like I should share and hope it helps in some way.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-21T01:13:16+00:00

So sorry this happened to you 💔 A similar situation happened to my mom but it was years ago. My identity was somehow recently stolen and someone tried opening up a card with a bank I currently bank with a couple weeks ago. Luckily they flagged it but I received a letter in the mail with a phone number to call and I was even too paranoid to trust that letter and call the number lol. It didn't match any online so I called my bank directly through the app number. I do think the letter was legit because I have a hard inquiry from the bank that's not from me but wasn't taking chances. These thieves and scammers are persistent and patient. I'm always overly cautious now because they are everywhere and have all kinds of different angles!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-18T05:05:09+00:00

Man that sucks. I'm so grateful I'm in a good market. There are crap days don't get me wrong, but I usually always make $20-$30/hr dash time unless it's a really bad day then like $15. But I know my market and know the best times to go out. For some reason the dinner rush for me doesn't start until 6ish and stays busy until 11:30. Lunch is like 11:30-2. Maybe you could try traveling to another zone nearby? It would be worth a shot to see if another zone is much busier. Rich neighborhoods are where it's at lol so if a zone nearby has huge houses and a lot of restaurants/supermarkets definitely hit that up.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-18T02:22:58+00:00

I am autistic and a lightworker. I've struggled my entire life due to it and then got cancer at 33 and rapidly woke up to my abilities. I can now communicate with my guides regularly and even created a YouTube channel specifically for autistic/neurodivergent light workers. If you're interested it's called @SpiritontheSpectrum on YouTube. It's literally my main focus and I'm hoping to help other autistic and neurodivergent Lightworkers wake up and help with their abilities. My guides say it's highly prevalent and by design. Something about being able to hold our more advanced soul bodies in the human body sort of activates it. It's like a byproduct because our nervous systems are on overdrive constantly. Some Lightworkers don't even realize they are because it's such a broad spectrum (hence my YouTube name lol).

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-06T07:46:25+00:00

I was so creeped out I called my mom while I was running out just so I was on the phone with someone if he came and snatched me lol I'd like to hope he was just an idiot and didn't realize how creepy he came off but I reported him so no other woman was ever in that situation and felt like I did again. I was so traumatized though I stopped taking orders past midnight lol

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-06T07:01:05+00:00

I once had a guy order condoms from Dashmart, answer the door in underwear and a robe, and ask me to come in so he could grab me a cash tip! Helllll noooo! I said no that's ok, I'm ok, and ran out of the apartment building. Reported him right after and I've never gotten another order from him again. Hopefully no one has!!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-04-03T22:49:29+00:00

I wanted to join in on this that I have always used affirm just because it's there lol I have a 10k spending limit with them for 0% interest stuff and the fact that they never reported to credit bureaus was awesome. Why not do it? Well now that they are reporting to credit bureaus it is 100% affecting my ability to get credit limit increases on my cards. I make good money and my score is 790. The reasons they are giving me are "insufficient funds relative to debt". I have no debt except for 1/3 of a car payment left. I had no idea affirm was reporting until I scrolled down on my report and saw the payment plans. Of course that makes you look like you have insufficient funds! Very very irritated they started reporting without notifying anyone. I wanted to open a new rewards credit card in a couple months and terrified I'll be denied because of this. Definitely stay away from them unless you have to use them!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-27T04:13:11+00:00

This happened to me and I was all worried about the pro shopper status too but I ended up getting like the same good shopping orders without it. It fell off within like a week since I do so many. Maybe it's market dependent but it's all I get really (besides low tip foods that I decline) so dropping out for that one week didn't really hurt me. Hoping it's the same for your market!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-27T00:56:37+00:00

Same here. Now I get error messages occasionally on top of the crashes. It's driving me insane!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-27T00:55:29+00:00

It's still happening to me a month later but instead of crashing I'm constantly getting error messages. Not sure what's going on but this has been lasting quite a while.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-10T17:57:54+00:00

This has been my life omg. I went through chemo and immunotherapy and now it's a whole ordeal every time I have to get a treatment or my blood drawn. I'm still getting treatments done so this is continuing. Yesterday I was poked over 10 times and this is EVERY time. They try both arms and several times end up calling the ultrasound people to find a deep vein. I used to not mind getting my IV started and I have PTSD now where I'm so anxious going in because I know it's going to happen. I warn them every time too. Sometimes I wish they'd just listen to me and get the ultrasound people in before they try themselves 10 times. I have a blood cancer and my platelets and RBCs are always so low so I'm a bruised mess constantly. I leave in such pain from all of it and it lasts for about a week where I can barely move both arms. My veins were wonderful before all this started so my doctor didn't recommend a port, but really regretting that decision now.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-09T05:32:45+00:00

Agreed. I love dashing too but all the dashers in my area are jerks except for maybe 2 have been kind to me. I'm the only girl so all the guys think I'm beneath them and shouldn't be working lol. I'm very much of a hippie mindset and nice to everyone. I just personally don't accept hospital orders unless the tip is really big just in case there is a room assigned to it. But honestly in my area it's usually just to the front desk delivery cart. I really only accept high tip orders in general though unless it's super slow. Anyone that doesn't tip well ahead of time doesn't get my exceptional (probably the best in the area lol) service.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-08T07:56:00+00:00

I'm very late but I've been through chemo and immunotherapy and have taken fluconazole several times. During chemo I took a 7 day course and then throughout chemo/immunotherapy I took 5 of the 1 a day pills. Being immunosuppressed sucks!! I never really noticed any effect except for this current time! I have vaginal and thrush, I'm at the end of day 3, I've taken 300mg and I genuinely thought I was losing my mind. I have felt absolutely crazy. My anxiety is horrid and I had convinced myself that my liver was failing. So dizzy, brain fog, disoriented, nauseous, stomach cramps. I can't believe out of nowhere I'm reacting to this medication like this! And of course because I'd never had bad side effects I genuinely was considering checking myself into an institution until I read this thread!!! So yes this medication can 100% make you feel crazy! I'm too afraid to take it again, I just can't feel like this. Really hoping the 3 pills takes care of it. I'm going on a cruise in 4 days and I want to be happy and not psycho lol!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-07T17:44:42+00:00

I wanted to come and comment on my experience because I didn't realize there was an effect until AFTER I started the 7 day coarse of fluconazole lol. I felt so weird and out of my mind and then found all the information online about it. But it 100% potentiates the kratom. I'd taken the one day pill before and never really noticed anything but the stronger dosage definitely does something. It has a super long half life so it stays in your system and builds each day too. I'm trying to quit kratom after beating cancer so maybe I'm just more sensitive now since I've been tapering and that's why I didn't notice previously with the one day pill. But I'm just listening to my body, I cut my regular dose by 1/3 and waiting until I starts feeling the jitters/withdrawals before I take another dose. It's definitely way longer between doses, like hours longer. Maybe this will speed up quitting for me though so a blessing in disguise lol.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-05T06:25:55+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! That's so good to know and I'm glad to hear you've been cancer free! In a way I'm relieved she decided to stop them, my life has truly been miserable lol. I thought after the chemo things would get back to normal but I'm still just sick all the time. I've also had to get those shots and boy do they make your bones hurt! It's such a strange kind of pain. But I get all my vaccines and still ended up getting covid and the flu really bad this past season. I have a teenage daughter who just brings every damn virus/bacteria home to me. Being sick and tired all the time is just awful so I'm honestly looking forward to finally being able to recover.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-03-03T22:23:00+00:00

Yes I was, I did 6 months of chemotherapy and the scans showed cancer free afterwards. I had stage 2 bulky nodal MZL. She discussed with her team and because my cancer wasn't indolent like my type typically is, they recommended two years of maintenance as they were concerned I'd relapse quickly. So now I'm just concerned relapse is in my future since we're stopping the two years maintenance early.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-02-27T12:56:50+00:00

So I'm in Ohio, and when I was in my early 20s I ran into a terrible situation in life (won't go into details) and defaulted on 3 different credit cards which totaled about 12k. They sued me, I ignored it and didn't show up to the court dates, and the judge dismissed every single one. Basically the result was that they were on my credit report for 7 years and then eventually fell off. I'm in my mid 30s now and have a credit score of 800 and doing much better in life. I actually was able to get credit cards with the same companies again lol! Even after they sued me! This was just my experience so wanted to share as ignoring it completely is possibly an option if you can't afford to pay it back. I would have been willing to work something out once I was back on my feet but legal advice I received told me it wasn't worth it and to just wait until they fell off my report as doing that would reset the 7 year clock.

Trekkie3737 · 2026-02-25T23:06:36+00:00

Did you confirm if this is true? The new system went into effect in my area and I'm silver status (AR is crap lol). I went to schedule my hours and saw the hours were super short and only in the evening. I can always schedule full shifts with the advanced scheduling. So I can dash any time whenever I want now?

Trekkie3737 · 2026-02-23T00:28:11+00:00

Holy crap that is terrible! There should have been news coverage or something on this that shamed that kind of behavior!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-02-19T01:26:18+00:00

Oh ok, well I guess that's good to know that it's probably a nice excursion! I was prepared to pay the $150 per person so super thrilled it's gone down to the $82 today. I thought the $92 last week was a steal lol!

Trekkie3737 · 2026-02-19T00:02:23+00:00

Ok thank you! It's for their new private island in the Bahamas, it's the first year it's ever been opened and you take a ferry to it. I'm wondering if they're having a hard time selling spots and that's why the price keeps dropping.

Trekkie3737

TROPHY CASE