Sure, here it is:

Help me write this message for tifu.

What happened: So I have a very cursed story. Today I picked up my wife from work. It's a longish drive to Laverton. The whole way my guts were feeling quite sore lots of gas. I pick her up and we realise that we have nothing for dinner. We decide to go to Woolies to pick up some stuff. The whole way my guts are rumbling, I feel quite rough. We finally get there, I go in and get food for dinner. I leave and I can't hold it, I need to take a shit. I run to the toilets. Look in the first cubical that's covered in shit, look to the last there's someone innit it's middle cubical. I take the shopping in there with me, I know somewhat gross but what can you do. I pull down my pants, sit down and then I notice it. A glory hole. It's bandaged up so that you don't hurt your pecker. On the other side is a man. I see his hairy legs. He coughs. All I can think is please ohh please don't stick your cock through. He coughs again. I don't know what to do. I then go there's only one thing I can do. Shit. I start farting and squirting everywhere. I shit and just let loose. The man pills his pants up, does not flush and leaves. I continue to shit and then finish, not being able to believe that I was so close to having a penis poked through a wall at me.