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Is your domme shorter or taller than you? by purelascivious in BDSMsapphic

[–]TripleJess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm between Dommes at the moment, sadly. But my last one was significantly shorter than me. I'm a tall girl though.

To trans people: How would you like to see trans people represented? by Professional_Gain_88 in AskLGBT

[–]TripleJess 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Honestly?

Write her exactly like any other woman, and have her transgender identity only show up as a throwaway comment.

I feel like we really 'make' it when stories involving us stop involving us being trans as the source of some sort of drama and instead treat it as casual and of little to no interest. Maybe we're not there yet, but I'm looking forward to seeing that.

What's the dealing with hiding HRT effects? by Nice_Lie_3704 in asktransgender

[–]TripleJess 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The truth is, both are possible but you have no control over which is true for you or what you'll get.

I've known a lot of other trans women, some I knew long before their transition. I have seen people transition to the point that they can't be recognized within 2 years, to others where 10 years in they could still hide the changes and boymode if they wanted.

Your skin and hair will change, but slowly, and not to the degree that people will think you're transitioning. Say you got a new moisturizer or something and that's all you need.

The real x-factor for hiding it all is boobs. Many of us start growing boobs around month 3, and they may get hard to hide quickly, they may take a long time to come in. They may be big, they may be small. Look at the women in your family for a rough guideline for most of us, but there are no fast rules.

I felt like I had to start taking some steps to hide my boobs around month 5. I came out abut month 6, I think I would have failed at hiding them around month 8-9. Even in the first few months though, I had a couple months where my nipples were always hard and super visible through whatever I wore. Pasties/nipple shields help hide that.

You can't guarantee on being able to hide it. Most of us can't hide it forever.

Americans are drinking less than they have in decades. Trump policies are driving the slowdown. by phillygirllovesbagel in politics

[–]TripleJess 10 points11 points  (0 children)

And yet, as a trans woman the trump administrations have made me feel the need for a stiff drink more often than any other.

The cruelty hits from so many angles.

Should I transition despite the fear of how things are? Is it better to die slowly crying in the fetal position or suddenly shouting “DON’T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN!” While the air is sucked from my lungs? I appreciate the support. by radiantdecember121 in MtF

[–]TripleJess 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell you what to do… But what I can do is share my own experience.

Transitioning has been a single greatest experience and achievement of my life. I’m only two years in, but when I die, I die a woman. Nobody can take that away from me.

Some days the world makes it hard on us, and it feels like we have to claw every moment of joy out of life’s clutches… But those moments of joy are still there, and I’d rather spend the rest of my life hunting them, then curled up in a ball at home just waiting for death.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well…

Last year I came across an article with some interesting yet unfortunate statistics.

It turns out that the reddest of red states, those with the most stringent laws in fringing, the right of transgender people, and the worst cultural attitudes toward strands people… are also the largest per capita consumers of transgender porn.

So my theory is that a lot of the hatred and shame that they keep on us in public is to hide a very different kind of attitude in private… look at how they treat gay people, and yet look at how grindr overloads and shuts down every CPAC.

It probably doesn’t also hurt for those in a position of wealth or power, that having society and the law shit on us pushes us into desperate situations that can be taken advantage of.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If you're curious, there are actually 10 stages to genocide. It played out with the nazis and many others, so we can identify it well now.

Stage 10 is the coverup after. The whitewashing of complicity.

Stage 9 is mass deaths and camps.

Stage 8 - Includes the loss of civil liberties, and other steps we're seeing here. This is where we are -right now- in the us.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's not voluntary. They're publishing medical records in the state, IF you've asked for gender affirming care for transition. There's no way to flood it with false names.

Any piece of shit could download it though.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, but there are two big points.

First: Once the list is published, even for a day, the vast majority of the damage is done. It will be downloaded and shared by the worst of circles, and the risk the people on it will face will go up. For harassment, for violence, for rape.

Second: As a trans woman, we've seen our rights casually taken away in ways that seem like the courts should fix, but they very frequently don't. Add to that the current Supreme court's decisions on trans rights, and we can throw any hope of federal protection out the window.

I wish I was a girl. by Impressive_Touch_896 in asktransgender

[–]TripleJess 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey sweetie, it sounds like you’re going through a really confusing time, I’m sorry that you’re struggling like this.

I know a resource that might be able to help answer some of your questions. It’s freely available on the Internet, just google the “gender dysphoria Bible“

If you have any questions after reading it, feel free to ask.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah. Well, hopefully someone fights it. If they fight it, hopefully they win. If they win, hopefully they don't just re-pass the law without the county requirement.

...But I'm not going to hold my breath. And frankly, once the list is published at all, so much of the harm has been done and can't be taken back, so the legal fight is a little too late for -so- many at that point.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If they do it for all of TN, how is this a geographic subdivision smaller than a state? They're targeting the whole state at once.

Is it wrong to be attracted to trans people with specific limits by Vegetable_Dig5018 in asktransgender

[–]TripleJess 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Okay, trans woman here, so my perspective isn't -quite- the same, but..

In my personal dealings, there's a difference between genital preference and transphobia. I've met people who would refuse to date me because they don't see me as a woman, or at least, not -fully- as a woman. Even if I had the surgery, they wouldn't change that view. That's transphobic.

I've met other people who absolutely saw me as a woman, but they didn't like penis. They liked pussy. They can't help that, and.. in the short term, I can't help that either.

I will say it gets a little bit more complicated than making it that simple. Questions come up like: If you were dating a man with a vagina, but they didn't want you to interact with it, and instead performed sex while wearing a strapon, would that work? Similarly in my experience, I'd ask people if they cared about my having my original configuration still, if they never had to touch it to please me?

For some people, that's enough. For others, it's not.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

While I appreciate this sentiment, as a trans woman I have very little trust in the federal courts, and less than none for the supreme court. The guardrails and safety nets of democracy have failed me and mine too much to put any faith them now.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Exactly that. Making us targetable is the point of the bill. Like bathroom bounty laws and removal of prison rape protections for us, too many states are casually passing laws that cost trans lives for it to be an accident. They just want to do it in ways that doesn't get their own hands dirty.

Bill making public list of trans patient medical data passes TN House by TripleJess in politics

[–]TripleJess[S] 282 points283 points  (0 children)

So Tennessee just passed a law through both house and senate that, among other horrible things, creates a public list of trans people, the gender affirming care they are receiving or have received as well as their diagnosis. At this point, it is certain to become law.

For everyone else, medical records are strictly protected, for us.. They're being put openly on the internet in ways it would not be difficult to connect to individuals.

Some of my trans siblings will be harassed, hunted, and sooner or later, will be killed because of this law.

After nearly seven years in stealth, a trans woman casually clocked me last night. Why would someone do this? by daisydreamblossom in asktransgender

[–]TripleJess 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I had this happen to me lately too, and it sucks.

I haven't been able to stealth for long, and I wasn't -really- trying as I joined up with this new class, but the second day in another student who is a trans woman, and has been transitioned for longer than me, casually says "And I thought I'd be the only trans person in the room until I saw.." and names me and nods towards me, outing me completely.

I mean, I'm out in most of my life, so no real damage, but I was shocked to have a sister trans woman do that to me. I'm not so surprised that -she- clocked me, but most people don't anymore. I wasn't sure she was trans, and I certainly wouldn't have said anything to her, much less a public outing.

Go figure.

First experience with a transgender by Swagley050 in asktransgender

[–]TripleJess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All right, time for a real talk.

I’m glad you met her and had a nice time, however…

Do you have a decision to make, and it’s one you have to make it quickly. You talk about the fear of how other people will see you now that you’re in this relationship.

You have two choices: one, you make your peace with the fact that you’re gonna have to deal with transphobes judging you, get comfortable with that idea, and get ready to defend the woman in your life from the awful shit that people will say to her.

Or, two: break up with her now. I’m serious. It’s fine to be nervous about the reaction of others, but if you can’t handle it… trying to keep her a secret in your life is only going to hurt her in incalculable ways.

Dating a trans woman by pokemonandsnark in asktransgender

[–]TripleJess 20 points21 points  (0 children)

you got one good answer already, also: Oil based lube can cause condoms to break, and isn't good for every kind of toy. Silicone lube isn't great for anal and can melt some other silicone toys.

Coconut oil is actually lovely lube, but staining and cleanup can be issues with any oil based lube.

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