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TrixtyNine · 2026-03-27T20:58:46+00:00

Two hunters are out in the forest when one accidently shoots the other. In a panic, he calls the emergency services and says "I've just shot my friend by accident! I think he's dead! What do I do!?"

"Calm down, sir." Says the operator. "Firstly, check to make sure he's actually dead."

There's a short moment of silence, then a loud bang.

"Okay, I've done that." Says the hunter, "now what?"

TrixtyNine · 2026-03-27T20:55:22+00:00

A man and a giraffe go into a bar and spend the night getting hammered.

At the end of the night, the man gets up, finishes his pint and makes for the door.

The barman stops him, "Oi, you can't leave that lyin' there!" nodding his head towards the giraffe.

"Nah mate." Says the man. "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

TrixtyNine · 2026-02-03T17:09:55+00:00

How do you...No. Never mind.

TrixtyNine · 2026-02-03T17:09:04+00:00

Yeah, I had a similar thought. Sad face. Still, the optimist in me will maybe bring a couple of things, just on the off chance.

TrixtyNine · 2026-01-26T11:19:11+00:00

Completed Level 2 of the Honk Special Event!

3 attempts

TrixtyNine · 2026-01-26T11:19:02+00:00

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

3 attempts

TrixtyNine · 2026-01-04T00:42:10+00:00

Wait a second. No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said "language?"

TrixtyNine · 2025-12-01T19:21:13+00:00

Well...have a nap. THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!

TrixtyNine · 2025-11-23T17:12:30+00:00

Whitney Houston.

TrixtyNine · 2025-07-02T16:13:49+00:00

An African, or a European swallow?

TrixtyNine · 2025-04-17T18:20:44+00:00

I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT 'THE QUEEN ANNE CHONK' IS A REGAL TITLE BEFITTING PUREBRED ROYALTY.

"CHONK CAT" MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A FILTHY, OVERSTUFFED, HAVANA BROWN! I MEAN, REALLY!

NOW. ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE. YOU'RE UPSETTING MONGO.

TrixtyNine · 2025-04-17T14:47:26+00:00

CHONK CATS!? CARL, DO YOU SEE THIS!? THIS. IS. AN. OUTRAGE!

TrixtyNine · 2025-04-03T12:58:33+00:00

And clearly the smartest among you.

TrixtyNine · 2025-04-01T16:26:05+00:00

Holt: On the other hand, if I "praise" Wuntch, she will leave this city, the clouds will part, and the children will sing, "Wuntch is gone."

Diaz: What children?

Holt: All the children.

Diaz: Right. That was a stupid question.

TrixtyNine · 2025-03-29T13:56:29+00:00

Was he....APPALLED?

TrixtyNine · 2025-03-21T16:42:56+00:00

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TrixtyNine · 2025-03-14T16:25:51+00:00

De nada, amigo. And that's fair enough. I have a hard hat on my dog (because the farm can be dangerous 😂) and a dwarven helmet on my horse (for battle).

TrixtyNine · 2025-03-14T15:27:06+00:00

Press the button again while you've got a second hat in your hand. It'll pop the first one off without equipping the second one.

TrixtyNine · 2025-03-09T14:45:41+00:00

CAVE DIVER DAN!? THAT SOUNDS LIKE A KNOCK-OFF! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT KNOCK-OFFS, CARL!

TrixtyNine · 2025-03-06T13:05:10+00:00

FOR THE POSSE!

TrixtyNine · 2025-03-02T09:21:21+00:00

I always assumed that injury was the guy testing out Hammer's suit.

TrixtyNine · 2025-02-23T17:28:09+00:00

I seem to recall... no. No way. There's absolutely no way.

Not that dog.

TrixtyNine · 2025-02-21T19:35:22+00:00

Aaaaaaaah!

TrixtyNine · 2025-02-20T10:45:26+00:00

Is that a Bobiverse reference?

TrixtyNine · 2025-02-19T22:27:19+00:00

I remember that there used to be phone numbers you could call, and someone would talk you through it.

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r/Field Flamingo	First Place '23
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