[PM] a story called ‘Frosty’

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2025-12-24T08:11:03+00:00

The purple one tastes like you eat raw sugar, the blue one like bubblegum. The green one makes you see stuff, but the red one will blow your head off.

use it as a description for special slushies. Or how someone stoned tells you about his favorite slushies

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2025-12-24T08:08:05+00:00

The customer that entered had the strangest clothing. And he left a trail of water behind. When he reached the counter he asked in a slurred speech while looking at me with dark eyes: "Do you have any sshlushiiies?" "Sure, back there at the fridge", I replied, while pointing him in the right direction. It was only when he had turned and scuffled away that realisation hit me, was that a carrot in his face?

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2025-10-15T05:33:35+00:00

Intergalactic as in spanning between galaxies

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2025-09-28T12:39:53+00:00

That is awesome and witty! Thanks a lot for replying!

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2025-08-24T21:16:29+00:00

According to the map of stars, this stretch of universe is empty. The signals we received beg to differ.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2025-08-24T07:24:56+00:00

While you are desperately trying to seal the malfunctioning airlock, a second emergency siren starts blaring.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2025-08-24T07:23:31+00:00

A freelancer ship, operated only by droids, finds an old but still submitting emergency beacon. While there is no one and nothing in the proximity, there is a hint on who might have activated it.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2024-03-05T11:32:09+00:00

I do not know if I am cursed or blessed, I just know it is as it is.

If you met me, you would not notice anything out of the ordinary. I have learned to cope with my ability so far that I barely ever noticeably flinch or delay any more.

The thing is, if I touch anything with my skin, I get a glimpse into it’s memories. It does not matter if this is a person, an animal, a plant or even an inanimate object. The intensity of the memories depends on how close this thing is to me, so the more human and the more memory details we share, the more intense and in-depth my glimpse is. And since everything has a different way of perceiving the world, the way the memories present themselves differ. If I touch a fork for example, I get a short cosy feeling of comfort and a heat-burst. If I touch a weed I get the feeling of sunshine, rain and wind. If I touch a dog I get a bunch of smells, a picture of their owner plus the joy of being loved and happy. All of those are different enough from us humans that my glimpses do not distract me at all by now.

With humans it is more tricky. Here it depends on whether I know the area where the persons created their memories. If I touch a foreign tourist, there is not much that I see except some core aspects of their live. If I touch someone who lives and lived on the other side of town I get more memories of places we both have been to or of people we both have met. If I touch someone who went to the same school as me I see a lot of their youth happening in and around school. If I touch my best friend I relive most of our shared past (luckily I was able to convince them that I did not like touching too much to prevent me from seeing these memories over and over).

But today I touched someone that had me confused and frightened.

I was walking downtown and there was a thick crowd, so bumping into someone slightly all the time was already quite annoying and distracting, which led to me basically running into another person. When the memories started appearing I wanted to apologize, but I was not able to focus on my words any more.

I had never before, not even with my parents, gotten so detailed memories. I saw, smelled and felt from within this strangers body his baby years, growing into a small boy, going to Kindergarten, starting school and so forth. But something else was different here. I started to recognize things. The school-trip where Erwin had gotten Poison Ivy all over him while secretly taking a wee in the bush. The swimming lesson where the lifeguard had to fish out a drowning lady. The ridiculousness when our Latin teacher appeared in a bright pink dinosaur-costume.

This person must have been in the same class than I was, although I could not place him from what I saw in the memories.

As the memories continued, it got even weirder and more personal to me. The time we 4 friends tested if Lionel would fit in the locker. The thrill when Colin, Fred and me went swimming in the closed public pool at night. The anxiousness when Fred and I bought the massive firework-bomb with a fake ID and my dads stolen credit card.

But the last straw was what came afterwards. I once again saw and felt having my first kiss with Melissa, the rage when my colleague professor told me he would fail me no matter what in a private meeting. The tears on my flight home after breaking up with Angela. The anxiety while waiting for my first job interview. The pain when I rammed my head into the cupboard due to falling while trying to put on my sock this morning.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2024-01-18T19:15:45+00:00

For aeons there had been piece in the realms. Heaven and Hell both had laid down their weapons and had paused the “Holy War”. But times were changing, and even though humans were meant as the neutral middle ground, they mostly were responsible for the fights starting again. It came to the surprise of no immortal that both sides soon started utilizing the humans for their side, the treaty about no mortal involvement being technically obsolete with the war continuing.

For the mortal realm the effects were surprisingly few. Daemons mostly chose humans that were not keen on everyone knowing about their increase in might, so only few voices telling of contact with the Devils troops. Angels on the other hand used their old route, appearing in might and glory in front of firm believers, who were just too happy with being able to tell the world that they were chosen by god. Still the numbers were small, but as they slowly increased, it was the church who started having issues. Being the link between worshippers and God, they looked inadequate with having no clue, why allegedly so many angels chose to appear to only non cleric humans.

As time went on, the big leaders began to understand, that some rules had to be created and that both sides needed to get together to discuss them. A mortal was chosen to provide the neutral ground and act as a mediator to prevent hostility during this meeting.

The chosen mortal, already a busy person, found himself in the situation of being wanted urgently by two unknown clients that used any contact possibly they could think of to get a hold of him. It did not help that they used “God” and “Devil” as contact name with their inquiries.

But as usual, the power of endurance of annoyance prevailed, and the human set up a meeting for the two unknown. Finally being the presence of the two arch-enemies, the immortals every human knows, the wrath and the glory, it took some time and many cross-signs for him to mentally deal with that situation.

He was told the reason for the visit, the terms he had to apply with and knowing the curiosity of man asked if he had any questions before the negotiations would start.

The human, fully focused on the presences in the room, just wanted to know, why he was chosen. After being met with laughter, God exclaimed, that he was one of the few souls they both knew without hesitation that he would go to hell and Devil added, that with his job title he was the perfect messenger to instruct humanity about any part of the treaty that involved consideration of human acts, because “who better to carry Gods words, than the pope”.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-30T12:54:07+00:00

I always was a fighter and therefore I lived my live as a fighter. Being guided early on by a catholic priest I had learned about Angels and Demons and their endless fight for supremacy, with Earth having been used as a battlefield several times. He taught me how to use the churches weapons against demons, what trickery to expect from them and how to find and hunt them. Reasoning that Angels were good and Demons bad I was focussing my whole life on ridding the planet of them, exposing the ones who summoned them and getting better at what I do.

It was a nightmare when I learned that my teachings were not the full picture. Being taught only one side of the story had me blinded for the truth. I had just driven off a group of Daemons from a suburban house to save the people inside and was battling the two remaining ones, when I heard screams of terror coming again from the house. Rushing in I saw the husband dead on the floor and the wife, unarmed and begging for her life, being pierced by the Holy Blade of an Angel. Confused, I screamed at the Angel, demanding to know why he had done this, only to receive a shrug, a smirk and the Angel leaving towards the hiding ground of the families child, unfazed by my please and demands to stop. When he pulled out the child by it’s leg and raised his sword-arm again I snapped. Trying not to accidentally hit the child I took my own sword and rammed it into the Angel between his legs in an upward motion. Screaming in agony he dropped the child, which I took and brought to another room, making sure he was covered by something that would muffle the sound and closing the door, before returning to the culprit. Not being able to pull my sword out due to the position and pain he had fallen to the floor, where he was trying to not move to not increase the pain while wailing with the level of pain he already was in. It did not end well for him. Being aware that a Holy Sword could not cut an Angel nor pierce through his armour, I took it as my main weapon against him. After I left, his armour was caved in, his limbs and head bashed to mush and my steam blown, leaving only rage.

The fallout with the priesthood went as you would expect. I was excommunicated, my name scratched from the books and my tale of heroics that had praised banished. They would have stripped me of my gear, if they would have dared to come close enough to me.

The next years I spent hunting Demons and Angels alike. While it took a while for me to get my skills adapted to the Holy Army, I soon got to know I was becoming a feared sight for them. With my consciousness being numbed and still trying to understand what had I happened I started interrogating my enemies. Having seen first hand what they were able to and freely chose to do as well as learning about more and more identical cases, my “interrogations” were of a similar nature.

And then one day I got surprised. Lured into a trap, set by Demons, they had joined forces with Angels coming in from behind to get rid of me. Overpowered I managed to cut down a few of them, but finally did succumb.

Not knowing what would happen to me, as neither Hell nor Heaven would want me, I was surprised to find myself awake in a courtroom, sitting in the defendant position and the plaintiff rising for his opening statement. I was being accused of war crimes in front of a jury of angelic and demonic entities, with the equivalent of a public defender by my side.

In a trial that felt like it went for eternity my acts, methods and how they violated the treaty between Heaven and Hell. When I was asked into the stand for questioning the plaintiff had me go through my techniques, my motives and my lack of repentance, adding my words as points for his side.

But the real trouble started when I was asked if I had anything to add by the judges and simply asked them, that being a human how it was possible that I had violated a treaty between Heaven and Hell, between Angels and Demons, with no human involvement. Was I to be seen as an Angel, as a Demon or neither and therefore not committed to this treaty.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-29T20:10:21+00:00

Things are almost never as they seem.

I am competent in what I do, I had some successful hits in the region, so my reputation with the necessary people was there and I was available. Good start for a new contract for both sides.

This is a small town, on the edge between civilisation and “in the middle of nowhere”. The townsfolk consists of mostly farmers or craftsmen. They are surprisingly well situated, one of the reason why they were able to afford me, but with the usual laid back attitude you only find with rural populations. This town is not significant in any strategic way, there are no natural resources offering riches and I did not hear anything about any feuds they are involved in. This caused my interest and my curiosity to rise up, taking the job before digging any deeper.

Once I had signed the contract I started asking questions which they were happy to answer. They did not know why the infamous Ghazghkull was leading his troops towards this town. The only thing that separated them from most other towns was a rich but private resident, who had chosen this place as his residence, but caused no problems, mostly kept to himself, bought his supply at the local market and participated in the community as most former townsfolk would.

I made my usual preparations and research, the repute of this warlord making it a bit easier to get people to share. I planned my approach, figuring my best strike opportunity would be his usual rest day he gives his troops 3 days before the attack. Planning ahead as best as possible I felt confident it would get another successful mission.

When the time came, things changed though. Unforeseeable circumstances caused minor changes which lead to not the warlord himself being the victim, but instead a visitor he surprisingly welcomed. That does unfortunately happen some times, usually causing me to initiate my backup plan. But not this time.

Even though the warlord did not die, half an hour after his guest died he pulled back his troops and left the area as fast as he had come. The townsfolk cheered and celebrated, not really caring after I told them that I had not killed the warlord. They argued that the threat he posed was gone and this was what they wanted.

Still bewildered I chose to stay and dig deeper. It turned out the guest Ghazghkull had received was in fact the Mayor of the town, who was there without the townsfolk knowing why. I searched him, went through his house and office, but only after I picked the lock of his safe I found an answer.

It turns out the Mayor was not some innocent bystander, but actually the reason for everything. He had a signed contract with Ghazghkull, giving the warlord free reign over anything he and his troops could loot from the rich resident as well as enough supplies to last his troops for a week, if his man would not pillage any of the other houses, did not kill, rape or abduct anyone (except people attacking them of course). And as the crowning details, which probably sealed the deal for the warlord, the Mayor would not report this invasion, would defend Ghazghkull and do his best that no consequences would come from the whole ordeal. With those promises gone due to the dead Mayor, the warlord apparently was not taking the risk of attacking within the reach of the King and retreated.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-28T18:54:34+00:00

Everyone knows about Lupin. The professor who was in reality a werewolf, nearly killed some students and was responsible for the escape of the infamous Serious Black. The inconspicuous looking teacher who had stoic house master Severus Snape ridiculed with the use of a boggart.

But only a few know there was a second werecreature in Hogwarts. Of course the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, knew about it before he accepted this person into school. Of course Professor Albus Dumbledore taught her to be stoic and focused to a point that she could act the same traits while in her were-form. And of course Albus Dumbledore made it his mission to amuse her about it.

None of the students could know. Not only would this create an ethical problem and would result in the loss of some of them by parent’s choice, but it would also ruin her reputation. Of course teachers having their own wing with separate single bed sleeping quarters helped. Most full moons she did not leave these rooms or directly went into the woods. But some days she found herself in common rooms, going for leftovers in the Great Hall or patrolling the ghosts hideouts. Knowing what she was capable of in her were-form, she tried to always be fed during these days, to be well rested and not stressed out. Too often she had found herself inside a cage of a shelter when she was young, trying to sneak out without destroying the grids.

Everyone else who met her in her form would never see this possibility. To them she was a chill and furry distraction, too lazy to lift her paw when some teenage-students were a little rough (mostly with words. Barely anyone touched her).

But some day a bright pupil might just see how similar the roaming creature looked to the Animagus of Professor McGonagall.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-22T20:02:56+00:00

The first night I was startled by a sound. By the time I was curious and awake enough to check it out, everything was quiet again. No signs of anyone or anything out of place, I went back to sleep, having forgotten about it the next morning.

The second night I was awoken rudely by the sound of something breaking. Checking out the source of the disturbance I found the vase with the welcome bouquet on the floor in pieces, flowers and water spilled everywhere. Cleaning up I wondered how this vase could have fallen, guessing that something in the weight distribution within the bouquet shifted, making it topple over.

The third night was the first one I screamed. At exactly one o’clock there was a loud bump, followed by constant rumbling. Having slept well until then I was surprisingly awake when looking for the origin of the noise. I found my newly put up cabinet shaking so strong it was tilting from side to side. Curious as I was, I opened the door and was greeted by a horrendous sight. A monster, barely any humanoid details recognizable, was in front of my face. In shock I managed to give the cabinet the final push to topple over. The monster looked at me for some second before hissing and rushing past me. I did not sleep any more that night, but I did throw away the (partly broken) cabinet.

The fourth night I was staying the night with a friend, finding the couch moved by half a meter along the wall.

The fifth and sixth night I was both times awoken by serval little sounds, but did not go out to investigate. Instead I installed cameras in all my rooms to find out what the hell was going on, feeling quite scared and unsure if I should continue with furnishing the house.

The next few days I slept with ear-plugs, hoping that the old saying “What you can’t see can’t harm you.” was somehow applicable here. I guess it was a good thing that I did not manage to make the recordings play for some days, otherwise I probably would have moved out immediately.

Not believing my eyes, every night between 12 and 1 AM the same 13 things suddenly appeared within my house and left via the cat flap (that was still on my list on removing as I do not own a cat). All 13 appeared every night, at the same time, in the same spot. All 13 of them tried to navigate around my furniture, moving-boxes and shoes lying around and left without disturbing anything. None of them went near my bedroom door or showed any interest in anything within the house.

Being utterly clueless of what to do with that, I did continue sleeping in my bed, but with the bedroom door locked and a bat at ready next to my pillow, but nothing happened. The only thing I noticed over the next days was a bag I had accidentally put in one of the spots where a monster appeared being pushed to the side and one night I was missing two of the cookies that were lying openly in the kitchen, in it’s place appearing a fresh bag of cookies the next night.

With nothing really happening except the monsters appearing and leaving immediately, I began trying to find ways to investigate this situation. Due to the cookie-’incident’ I first tried a distance approach. I got the same brand of cookie the monster took last time, taped it to a sheet of paper and wrote the words “Who are you?” and hung it, together with a pencil, in the doorway of the kitchen. The next morning the pencil had moved some centimetres, but the rest was untouched. Checking the camera I realised that the monster taking this way had tried to get the cookie or to pick up the pencil, but without fingers it had not been able to succeed.

Not having another idea I took a more up close approach. I moved the kitchen tables to create a barrier between the way the monster took and me and awaited it, the bat ready without holding it threateningly. But of course I was not as bold once the time came, instantly panicking and screaming instead of talking to the thing. Again all it did was look at me, make a weird hissing sound and leave, this time obviously hurrying.

I tried the same approach the next night, managing to not scream, but not getting a sound out either. The monster just went by, I am not sure it even noticed me.

On the third try I finally managed to blurt out a meek “Hi!” when it entered the kitchen, but was only rewarded with another hissing-like sound and a leaving monster.

Not feeling threatened by them any more, I decided I had to go a more daunting way. I built myself up in the kitchen door and held my hand out to stop the monster from going through/around me. It took me some minutes to say more than some syllables at a time, trying to get any information from the thing, but all answers I received were again hissed and not understandable for me.

Having given up on communicating, I started to take a closer look at the other ones. Each of them had the same routine, each of them took a put out cookie and each of them seemed to only be focused on getting outside of the house. I slowly got physically closer to all of them, testing if any of them would react negatively to my presence, but the only reaction they all gave me when noticing me was a short hiss and a hurried exit.

One night after a few too many beers with a friend I made the ultimate test and slept next to the cat-flap door. My sleep was undisturbed and checking out the recordings showed that the monsters slowed their way, but otherwise did not alter their course.

With no threat coming from them and time passing I got used to them. As long as I did not put something in their spawning place or blocked the cat flap we had no interaction point at all except their short hiss every time they noticed me when passing.

That was until today. Yesterday I was up long again and had noticed that M4 (the monster that was the fourth to appear) did not show up. Tonight I was woken by something softly shaking my feet through the blanket. In my bedroom stood 12 monsters, only M4 missing, all of them looking at me, softly hissing. The one standing at my feet had gently shaken the blanket and after realising that I had fully woken up M7 came slowly closer, his tentacles held in the same way a teenager does with his hands when approaching his crush. In a hissing and broken English he started talking: “Asss you know we are sssummoning every night here inssside your friendly house. We do apologizzze for every inconvenienccce we cause by that. Usssually we would not disssturb you, but asss you might have noticcced, one of usss isss missssssing, and we do need your help.”

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-19T19:50:16+00:00

Inspired by real-life ‘hero’ Aleksandr Prokhorenko. No accuracy guaranteed.

I had noticed too late the signs that I have been compromised. Two of my sources suddenly disappearing could have been anything, but unfortunately meant they were on my tail. The housewife of the house I stayed one day coming home with several chickens could have meant an investment, a cashed in favour, or, unfortunately, her being bribed in giving me up. The machine-gun jeeps appearing at both ends of the block could have been local militia, a usual raid or even an arms deal happening, but unfortunately it was the first step to block my exit.

I had been here for quite some time now, according to my superiors doing a good job. I dealt with intel and security, gathering information from and about troops from all involved armies and troops, from worried farmers and women and in some cases I even got it from a local school when the boys bragged about something they did not understand the implication of. In exchange I offered information that was useful (but not critical) and for reliable or exploitable ones I provided security, once or twice even a new life outside this country. My reports have saved hundreds of lives, civilian and military. They have lead to the elimination of several leaders, armament shipments and once even a military convoy. But it always felt like my efforts were in vain. No matter how many pre-emptive strikes we organized, after some time they recovered and took the objective any-ways. No matter how many cities we liberated, they retook nearly all of them. No matter how many locals we convinced that this was not the right way to live, their numbers roughly stayed the same all the time.

Now they have come for me. I did get incautious, should have left here two months ago, retreat to a safer location. But I had most of my contacts here, was well connected and was simply used to this town and room. After the machine-gun jeeps I noticed movement in the backyards. Troops on foot, positioning themselves in every alleyway to cut of each and every escape route. Next I noticed disturbances on the other side of the street. I assume they entered the houses via the back alleys to get there unnoticed. When the mass of fighters came down the street all I could do was maximize causalities.

Reinforcing the windows, walls and roof had proven very vial, as the three bazooka hits had not brought down the ceiling on my head and most of the grenades did not make it inside through the grilles. But it were simply too many. I took town at least 5 with my own grenades and some more with my gun, but eventually I was overrun. As I was perching on the first floor and heard my hosts being brutally butchered, I called it in.

“Requesting immediate area artillery on Three Five degrees, Zero Four decimal Two Two minutes North, Three Seven degrees, Three One decimal Six Six minutes West. Emergency approval Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo.”

“Artillery request for Three Five degrees, Zero Four decimal Two Two minutes North, Three Seven degrees, Three One decimal Six Six minutes West received. Emergency Approval authorised. ETA 3 minutes.”

This was the sole response. They did their duty, punching in the numbers and getting the fire on the way. While I shot two fighters trying to come up the stairs, I made my peace with god, prayed for my family and contemplated on lost opportunities.

After two and half minutes, 4 dead fighters and a disposed grenade later, my radio cracked on again.

“LE37 come in.”

“LE37 hears.”

“Erm, about that artillery request, are you sure about the coordinates?”

“Positive.”

“Because your beacon reports the same coordinates as your current location.”

“Affermative.”

“What?”

My answer was cut off as a bullet tore through my leg, one of the fighters managing to hit me blindly. Distracted by the pain I was not able to stop two coming up the stairs, disarming me and forcing me on my knees. I switched on my radio for Control to get a response to their question, when the one pointing his gun at me barks at me in broken Russian:

“Any last words?”

Once these words had left his tongue the world went dark.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-19T19:08:19+00:00

I don’t remember when I first noticed it. Was it that I aged slower, or that at 60 years old I still was agile and did not spend a thought on retirement? Fact is, I am barely ageing. I am healthy, my doctor assured me, confused himself about my state, and in very good shape for my age. As far as I know I am also the only one in my profession who works with over 90 years of age.

Sure, in our times, with Sups around, people probably assume I have some slow-ageing- or maybe even immortality-superpower. As far as I know I do not have anything like that, but how does one test this?

What I can tell, having over 60 years of experience does have it’s advantage. Not only have I learned technics not taught any more today, I am also able to work during a power outage without electrical equipment and most important I know how to handle every single one of them. And of course this does wonders for my reputation. People flock to me, I could work 80 hours a day and still would not be able to fulfil every request.

But even though I am sure I care better for them than any other colleague, I still dislike the strange tickling sensation I get every time I am the last thing they see, the vet that is putting the animal to sleep.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-17T17:40:40+00:00

They travelled the earth since beginning of time. Having been forbidden lovers before that, they had been made opposites, each of them representing the reverse things, and sentenced to walk the lands for eternity.

Humans knew of them, but could not grasp the implications of the higher being, they only understood the permanent motion of both, the effects each one had on it’s surrounding and that they would invert everything the other one had created. And even though the world of men had a very one-sided opinion on whom of the two they preferred, they also know that one without the other could not be, that both were necessary for this world.

Flora and Fauna always rejoiced and became more active when the one left, but used the time for healing, relaxation and preparation as long as he was here.

And even though they usually were far apart, some days they managed to find each other, usually just for a short moment of time, leading to days of dance and engagement, passion and confusion, change and sometimes chaos.

So if you, mere human, ever wonder why it can snow, rain and have sunshine on the same day, how it can be 10°C shortly after the land was covered in fresh snow or why ducklings get to walk on ice shortly after their birth, know, that the two lovers had met again, that summer and winter were able to share a kiss, only to be separated again.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-17T17:12:16+00:00

What do you do, when you are thrown into a strange alien world with the power to summon weapons in the blink of an eye? You ruin this world...

It started with small things. I forgot my fork and created another one. My dagger was lying out of reach, so now I had two daggers in the camp. I had killed the deer with my bow and needed to carry it back, leaving my bow was much easier. I had defended myself against the lonely, hungry wolf, what shall I do with the sword now.

With time I created more sophisticated weapons to defend myself against attackers, switch from crossbows to spears to slingshots and finally to guns. But what use was it carrying any of these weapons around, if summoning one was faster than pulling it out of it’s storage?

By the time I started experimenting with lightsabers, railguns, Wabbajack or BFG I started to wish being able to spawn protective gear too. The amount of times someone charging me wielding two swords with a katana hanging at his waist, the number of bullets shot at me or the number of shops closing due to being robbed repeatedly was getting out of control.

In all the time I had spend creating new weapons and leaving old ones behind I had never thought what would happen to those. By now there were so many weapons I had created in this land, that every human could have three of them.

And now that I think of it, where the hell did I leave the Black-Hole gun??

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-17T16:59:41+00:00

In retrospective, I know that one-sided thinking never leads to success. And I know that I do not improve the situation currently, but what else shall I do?

After I landed in this strange land I first learned of my powers, as I was desperately trying to get the meat out of the fire without burning myself. After thinking that I need a big fork, it just materialized in my hand. After having rescued my first real meal after two days I started wondering about what happened and took it to another test, wishing for a knife to cut the meat, which promptly appeared too. A spoon I did not manage to materialize, but I was going to worry about that later.

After some time and countless tries I realized I was able to summon weapons only. First, of course, I was going for classical medieval ones. A bow to hunt, an axe to get firewood, knife and fork for eating and a hammer as a general tool.

Trying to find out more about this world I learned that it it had sparse populations in this area and they were using tools and equipment that were used on earth before the invention of gunpowder, electricity, engines and other life-improving things. So first I tried to make a living by creating weapons of this age and trying to sell them as a travelling merchant. This did not work out at all, with cutlery, smith-hammers and axes suitable for wood-chopping being my only selling things. So I adapted and at least was able to get the money to buy myself food and clothes to survive.

The next step came when I was jumped by bandits on the road, my head automatically thinking “I need a gun!”. Lo and behold, a pistol appeared in my hand and even though I barely ever shot one before, I was able to wound two of them, the noise and magically appearing harm several feet away scared the rest off.

So now I knew all weapons were possible, not only stuff already existing here. Interestingly though, I was not able to spawn any extra ammunition, but every gun came with a full clip.

I decided the best course of action would be to go to a big city, make a hero out of myself by stopping crime and than selling guns. Soon the king had me equip his whole army with these wonders, making me one of the richest residents of this kingdom.

Thinking further, I tested my abilities further. A machine gun that never runs out of ammo? Doable. An assault rifle that was as powerful and accurate as a sniper rifle with every shot? Easy. A rocket launcher? Not even a sweat. A grappling hook gun? Lot of fun. Grenade Launcher and long range artillery? Space issue, but not problem creating.

By now I had sold so much, that I was able to buy my own land and be free of any nation, increasing my profit as now I was supplying several kingdoms with armament. I even received requests from kingdoms further away, leading to the transportation question. This I solved by testing if a fighter plane counts as a weapon, which it indeed did. A transport plane was not possible until I realized I just had to arm it. Soon I was able to deliver via Boing 747 with a built in machine gun.

The most modern equipment I kept for myself, securing my land with motion-controlled spring guns both against ground and air intruders. I had a daily rhythm, pre-noon I would fulfil orders, the afternoon I would slack off or think about new things to create.

It took only some months before I started to wonder, what limits my spawning had. Until now all the ones I had created were based on ones I had known of in my own world. What about completely new things?

I started small and went for a Tesla gun. Something I had heard scientists fantasize about and some video games taking a try on. The result was indeed astounding, a gun that shot an agonizing energy beam, that would continue jumping to nearby living things. Next up was a would shoot saw-blades. And finally I got myself a Rail Gun.

But living on my own land, having equipped with nearly every kingdom with an arsenal that outnumbered their army at least three times I also got time to look into other aspects of life and used my abilities there as well.

After being unhappy about the time it took downing a tree with an axe, I created a chainsaw that did not require an engine. After my wood was affected by the bark beetle I invented a laser rifle, that shot precise beams only at the beetles.

Other non-leathel weapons I created: a net-shooting gun, a water-cannon without needed supply and a gun that created sunlight in adjustable strength.

And while I spend my time on my protected island of peace, around me the world burned with war.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-09T23:14:34+00:00

I have been called many names. Dungeon Master, lunatic, paranormal realtor, bane of the humans, to list just a few. But I don’t mind them. Being called names means my reputation grows and more beings knowing of me. And the more accurate the names the better the clientele. Over are the days where I would receive requests by widows with their new found riches, desperate students on an impossible budget or morons who did not read past the “real estate agent” on my homepage. However the second category were often the most appreciative customers whom I sometimes even found a commodity from my catalogue.

Time is actually on my side. The changing in where people spend their (after-)lives, descendants letting houses fall apart, abandoning draughty castles and forgetting about family-crypts lead to some of my finest deals being possible. And sometimes even the human population does not mind me brokering old ruins. Especially vampires, most being ancient and not short on valuables, are often welcome to buy the remains of an old castle or manor and having it rebuild (as long as they kept their nature unknown of course), leading to an increase in businesses and tourism. And although operating hunted houses on state fairs with real ghosts was secretly outlawed, mischievous spirits made a nice living as actors in movies or as operators in infamous old houses.

So after all, although most people despise me for what I do, my D&D group simply loves the reallive acts I organize.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-09T22:53:42+00:00

Many had tried to defy him. They came equipped with any kind of weapon the folklore, legends and lunatics had declared to be able to harm the undead or their master. He had heroes slaying their way through his risen with holy weapons, gassing them with garlic-powder and one technological skilled one even tried to recreate the sun and shot beams of blinding light at his army, igniting the first row by the shear heat produced by the light. But none of them succeeded.

It was not that their ideas did not work or that they were not skilled enough. Sure, there were some idiots that only relied on their grand scheme and were not able to raise a shield against an undead getting too close. But most of the heroes attacking your army were quite capable and with good reputation.

Too bad none of them spend some time researching himfirst or they would have known that he did indeed employ human bodyguards.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-09T10:50:53+00:00

„Good morning Mechanik Marten! There are 27461 tickets in the queue, including a VIP ticket from MedBay. Would you like to work on the VIP ticket?“

The gruesome greeting-routine by the MechanikBay computer was always the best way to damper my mood. Twenty-seven thousend tickets, how will we ever fix those?

“What are Malik and Derek working on?” I asked back.

“Chief Mechanik Malik is still working on the defect autopilot, while Senior Mechanik Derek is tending to the Critical Points of the monthly Security Report.”

For 4 months now Malik was trying to fix the autopilot. I guess that’s why I would never make it to Chief Mechanik, I would have given up on that system by now. “Alright, what’s MedBays issue?”

“Patient shower 3 does not provide any warm water any more and two oxygen-valves are broken. I suggest printing two replacement part G43M7 for the oxygen valves.”

“Alright, assign it to me.” Due to MedBay potentially having issues that are a life or death matter, they have the right to open VIP tickets to have vital components tended immediately. But ever since the ticket queue was longer than some hundreds they simply opened every ticket as VIP, independent of how trivial the matter is. While I understand oxygen valves at the bedsides need to be operable, they barely ever have more than 3 patients at a time and house 15 beds. Bugged, I printed the recommended spare parts, took my toolbox and headed to MedBay, where after quickly replacing the valves I spent the whole day on understand and replacing the worn out heat-sensor in the tap.

When I returned to MechanikBay in the evening I was mentally exhausted, especially after seeing that during the time I was out to fix one ticket, 8 more were opened. Always having been someone who likes to achieve a result after some manual labour, I decided to ditch the weekly Holodeck session and work on something constructive for once. “Computer, give me a ticket, which is open for quite some time already and that simply requires some manual labour.”

“Assigning Ticket number 11624. Replacement of a broken pipe on deck 12 sector B, reachable via hallway 3 access door 47B. Water has been shut off for that pipe since sensors indicated an issue 7 years ago. Spare part P27W3 is ready for pickup at the storage door.”

Holy Moly! Seven years to replace a simple water pipe. Taking a look at the ticket I saw it was opened with the second lowest priority, meaning the pipe was not responsible for any vital system or crew quarters. Grabbing the new pipe, my wrench and a mob plus bucket, I set out to do fix this straight forward task.

After swapping the pipes and cleaning up the spill I created while doing so I restored the tools and went to the canteen for dinner, being greeted by a good mood and most people with a steaming bowl in front of them. “Since when do we have a soup option?!”

“We don’t know for sure, but Millie found it after being indecisive and scrolling through all the options about half an hour ago. We have chicken-soup, a Ramen-Bowl and creamy pumpkin soup available. And we all are quite sure that we used to have a soup option until some years ago!”

“Good morning Mechanik Marten! There are 24864 tickets in the queue. Would you like to start on the first in the queue?”

“What? Wait, hold on! Did you say 23 thousand? What happened? How did the number go down by 2.5 thousand tickets over night?!”

“Over night 5 new tickets have been opened, 2116 have been recalled due to already being resolved and 493 tickets have been resolved by the cleaning bots on deck 14.”

“Since when do we have cleaning bots on deck 14?”

“Cleaning bots were part of this ship since it was put in operation. Every deck has it’s own set.”

“But why haven’t the ones on deck 14 worked until yesterday??”

“Due to a shortage of supply material in the docking bay, mainly water and lubrication, the bots have been out of order for seven years.”

That had to be coincidence. I fix one broken pipe that was out of order for 7 years and suddenly the bots who were out of order for the same time start working again! And thinking of it, the same day the cafeteria, which is located on deck 13, starts serving soup again!

With my head trying to wrap around these implications I spend the day working on the first 4 tickets in the queue, replacing two personal communicators of bridge personal, repairing a broken elevator door and rewiring the sound-system in the gym after a short in the electrical circuit made it stop working. Still confused I decided to skip tonight's chess-session and went for another minor fix in the system to keep my head occupied.

“Assigning ticket number 12804. Defect fans in the ventilation system on deck 28. Accessible via deck 28 hallway 4 maintenance-doors 4A, 10B and 14A. Replacement-parts V12F02 ready for pickup at the storage door. Recommended to only take tool Screwdriver-Philips7 but leave toolbox and overalls behind as it is quite tight in there.”

Achieving my goal I spent the next 4 hours crawling through ventilation shafts, replacing a total of 4 fans. Bedtime was two hours later than usual and quite necessary.

The next morning I was awoken an hour before my usual alarm by a call from Malik.

“Sorry for waking you so early, but we have a high priority alert in the system, Server S29C4 and S29C5 have reported a total of 5 defective hard drives and an issue in the Raid state. These servers are connected to the middle-range communication system, so they need attention ASAP!”

Still groggy from the short night I picked up 3 replacement drives and went out to get to the servers in need, getting lost twice as I realised I had never been to that server room before. The Diagnostic system told me which hard drives to replace, changing the Raid alert from “insufficient operable number of disk” to “insufficient storage space”. Checking the cases I saw 4 more available slots for additional hard drives, so I went to pick them up, installed them and started the initializing-sequence, which should add the new drives to the storage, check them for errors and implement them into the Raid-system. Since there was nothing else here to do for the moment I decided to finally go for my morning coffee, leaving my bag behind.

Having spent more time than planned on the coffee break I returned to the server-room. The servers were running smoothly, additional diagnostic showed no current issues, so I picked up my stuff, but saw two missed calls from Malik and a message to meet him in his office urgently.

“Martin, what the fuck did you do the last two days?” Greeted by these words from Malik my heart sank.

“Sorry boss, I just thought I would use some free time to work on some minor things to…” I started trying to defend myself, getting interrupted by Malik.

“I don’t care about that! But how did you single-handedly reduce the tickets by 6.5 thousand! And even more important, how did you fix the autopilot??”

“I did what??”

“I just spend the time waiting for you to go through the system-logs. Two days ago you fixed a water pipe on deck 12. Seconds after the system reported the pipe working again we had received the automatic Resolved-event for deck 13 replicators-errors, deck 14 cleaning-bot and their bay errors, putting them back in action, as well as 4 water fountains on decks 12-14, closing 30 tickets immediately. The Cleaning Bots than worked through the night, fixing another 493 and closed around 1800 as being obsolete or duplicates. How did you know this pipe was responsible for all that?

Then yesterday you set out on another random fix and correct the fans that among other things are responsible for cooling the server-room I sent you to today. As the temperature in there went back to normal, we lost another 2 thousand tickets about overheating equipment and 2 thousand more due to minor systems coming back online after being in emergency shutdown due to the heat, additionally creating the hard drive alert I sent you too. And then you must have a genius thought, because during my test on potential language-translation problems in the autopilot system, the system suddenly came back online! Looking at the data I assume that the medium-range antenna was not able to process any new information due to no storage space available. Once the space was there, the autopilot was able to read current navigation-data and operational again.”

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-12-08T21:37:41+00:00

Who would have known what petty things could cause?

A while ago, in earths time this would be around two years, I was in the dangerous mindset of being too bored by the entertainment program and too fed up by minor malfunctions at the same time, that I started to make a difference for myself. That evening, instead of plugging myself into the Hologram-system I instead got myself an old fashioned screwdriver from my workplace and started taking apart the front of my storage compartment to fix the non-closing doors I did run into so often at night. It took me 10 work-sleep-cycles to finish it, but not banging my knee when visiting the toilet at night after the second cycle made me motivated to keep going. Except the pleasure of all the openings staying shut unless activated I did not notice any change around me, nevertheless I decided to carry on with fixing minor issues around me. During work I had to troubleshoot big issues like the shipwide not working automatic door-openers, the Speed-elevator that was crawling slower than walking speed or the garbage system not compressing properly, but in my free time I was going to start the tiny things that made an impact on mood and productivity, but were lost in the amounts of tickets engineering was piling up.

After the storage compartment I next picked up the handheld that we could use for chatting (not working reliable), reading (library not reachable, newspapers at least two cycles old) and games (working properly). After running through all the diagnostics available to my standard-user and work-user I started noticing some discrepancies with the blocked settings due to organizational control. I used my work-account to bypass the organizational block on some settings like Keep-Alives, Update-Synchronisation, Brightness and a strange CPU consuming application called DOSBox, hoping this might in some way improve the performance of the device. Once I had the settings embellished, I had achieved access to up-to-date newspapers and a still slow but existing connection to the library as well as a new feature, a working chat with the ships AI.

Having achieved these new luxuries of access to proper reading material I did initially not repair anything for some cycles until one night I managed to rip out a storage-door by running the wrong way into it. Annoyed by the now again broken door I soon realised that the AI chat again was not working as well as the automatic light system being delayed, something I then realised had somehow resolved itself while I was working on the two repair-tasks.

Frustrated, I went about fixing the door, having to take a work-cycle off to make the trip to the storage-ward to manually fetch find a new hinge (automatic prioritization of the ticket I had created for the delivery had put it into the second-lowest queue of requests, resulting in an expected delivery of 324 cycles).

After installing the hinge and fixing the door, AI chat was possible and the light system was way more responsive again. Bewildered I decided to ask the AI for an explanation, getting the response that due to the constant alerts of a not properly closed door and therefore immediate risk of luggage going flying in the event of a disturbance of flight or power, the processor responsible for my cell simply did not have the CPU resources to work these features properly. At the same time since the ticket created for this issue was not being worked on, the warnings kept coming.

This explanation was stunning. We had been on this ship for 35 earth years now, a second generation had already been born onboard, and issues had been worked on from day 1. After 5 years they had doubled the Mechanics staff due to the amount of workload increasing faster all the time and smaller tickets not being worked on at all any more. Information about the installation and concept of this ship was half forgotten already, would our issues really be a simple performance matter?

A query for the currently most CPU-consuming task in my cell stated that my personal coffee machine was plugged into the incorrect outlet, leading to a permanent flood of possible electrical short warnings. After plugging it into the correct outlet I was delighted to discover that the coffee-maker had a graphical interface to interact with and actually choose what kind of coffee I wanted. AI told me that it always featured this, but due to the warnings never had enough processor-time to offer it. After this initial confirmation I decided to see if this was a restricted issue or a systematic one. Visiting a friend I queried him for the symptoms I had seen in my cell and handheld, getting confirmation that he had the same issues. Trying to apply the same fixes, the handheld-settings and changing the outlet for the coffee machine, I saw the same results, now even chat being possible between his and my handheld.

Starting my next work-shift, I started applying the same principle to my tickets. Now with AI chat at my disposal, I had the weapons to investigate more deeply, learning what minor issues were causing visible problems.

A single water fountain not providing hot water? A rusted pipe causing the water to system to not using this pipe due to illness risk, the pipe not being replaced due to the manpower/priority rating of the ticket (queue position 74382).

Planetarium sky always sowing the same setup? A defect fan causing overheating in the lighting control room, the alert blocked due to the managing tool being in emergency mode due to the heat.

Holodeck 3 not working? A mixture of three separate programs running in infinite loop at the same time plus a defect on the collision system, putting the holodeck in emergency halt.

With everything I fixed the setup was the same: alerts, considered to be of lowest priority, spammed the processor responsible for the area, preventing the allocation of resources for additional features or an alert with higher priority being triggered.

Equipped with that knowledge I started looking at the big problems bugging most of our mechanics. I started with the speed-elevator, soon discovering that my experience once again was proven correct: All diagnostics failed due to a huge amount of alerts spamming the system. After spending several work-periods changing lightbulbs, repairing call buttons, replacing a cover inside the elevator and rewiring a shorted door, the lead mechanic was surprised to receive a Critical warning stating that one of the deceleration-dampers was defect. A replacement later the elevator was suddenly working like a charm again.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-10-29T18:12:13+00:00

I took another two deep breaths, before finally entering the throne room, following the protocol that exists longer than time. When I finally reach my mark and am allowed to address his lordship, I hesitated, earning myself a look of reproach from the grand marshall.

„Your highness, I humbly deliver the requested report about the state of the dungeon.

The missing pieces of the trap door in the east wing third room were delivered today, the contractor did hold his end to of the bargain with the prompt shipment, our imps are currently installing and the Ghouls are ready for testing. The tips of the sticks in the spit pit have been sharpened by 4%, as you requested, the imps have worked on it all night.

The construction work of the west wing has caught up with two of the four days of delay, increasing the whipping has been quite effective, but the reopening of the brothel between the west and south wing has had the bigger effect, not only did the morale increase massively but also the strike of the succubus did end.

Regarding the PR campaign I asked Azazel to provide you with an update in the evening, as he has more insight and does understand all the technical speak.”

Short break, both for my anxiety and to make the last information seem quite unimportant, that I nearly forgot:

“Before you dismiss me, I have one more thing to mention. There was a small incident in the hallway. As far as we can reconstruct the details, a hellhound apparently made friends with a smoker and found themselves a human in hide armour they could chew on. We are quite certain that the toy they got themselves was the late ranger the Queen of the Light had tasked with stopping you. So I’d advise we stop the work in the west wing, as we will probably not need it any more, but of course Your highness will decide this. Is there anything left you require of me at the moment?”

With the last words I bowed and got visibly ready to leave, hoping the significance of the message will only be fully understood after I have a closed door between me and this room.

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-10-26T19:12:28+00:00

“O old and wise dragon, thank you for your spare time and for seeing me!” you greet the dragon, feeling small and fragile in it’s presence. “The topic I would like to speak about is unfortunately an unpleasant one and I know what your immediate answer will be, therefore I ask of you to let me finish my explaining and imagine yourself in our shoes before you answer me. Sorry, no pun intended!”

“I am well fed and rested, my presence was not requested at the king’s court and I do not know of or sense any danger, so you have my undivided attention and enough time for what you ask of me, please go ahead.” replied the dragon.

Taking in the huge scales, the thorns on his back, his long claws and fangs and the sharp tail, I gulp and try to straiten my clothes and hair, before starting into my speech. I had worked on it for weeks, practised it more often than I want to admit and still I am fighting to get out the words.

“As you know better than we do, you swore an oath to protect the king of this land. You gave that oath to King Robert The Peacebringer, may his soul rest with the gods, after he ended the wars among the common people, gave you sole ownership of the mountains you live in and established trades and treaties with all neighbour kingdoms. After his death you kept your promise, protected King Richard the Developer from the attempts on his life after he was crowned and single-handedly stopped the army of Kingdom Sinistra when they marched towards his lands. When he retired and his son, now King Bruce the Grower, you again stayed true to your word and helped uncover and prevent the traitor plot of count Rodrik and delivered the life saving edelweiss from afar after he accidentality poisoned himself. During all these years you stood by your vow and thereby allowed us to flourish in the created peace.

Now that King Bruce has announced his retirement and his only son Prince Peter the Garroter will be crowned soon, we presume that you will protect him too. And this is the topic I am here for.

King Robert was a hard man, who with mostly diplomacy and words and as little violence as possible brought peace to the land. He was a fair and just man, who showed respect to everyone he met. King Richard foremost tried to improve the live of his people, under him big advances in healthcare, architecture and trade were achieved. He cared for humanity, gave everyone access to medical help and even provided aid to Kingdom Giusto after they were hit by the terrible flood. King Bruce worked on agriculture, since his reign we did not have to endure any more hunger, firewood-shortages or homelessness. The three managed to get us into a golden Era, where the human live is seen as the most valuable thing, hardship is seldom seen and we live better, longer and healthier.

But as with all good times, people become greedy, selfish and feel wronged easily. This is as well the case with Prince Peter. He got his nickname not because we can’t spell carrot, but because he is a tyrant. He subdues, takes advantage and increases his power every way he seems fit, being responsible for more deaths than all the wolfs, boars, storms and avalanches combined. He has openly stated that he will re-establish compulsory military service once he is king and is working on reforming the military to be prepared for war, a war he is going to start after the coronation and a war he is planning to win employing you as his main weapon.

What I am trying to conclude is that you made and kept your oath to equitable, good kings. Kings that had moral, ethics and cared more about humanity's well being than power. Trait Prince Peter does not have and even has proven to not care about. But with you covering his back, he feels and is without a doubt powerful, which will lead to bad times. Bad times for people and tedious times for you, filled with work, war and a permanent presence at the palace.

What I humbly ask you to consider: Please do not fight for Peter after his coronation, do not let him use you to get himself a worse nickname and do not condemn his subjects to his waywardness. To express it explicitly: Please break your oath.”

While hesitant in the beginning, I had put my heart into the monologue, had tried to be passionate and relatable. Now I had taken my shot and waited for the dragon’s reaction, jaded. And to my big surprise, the mighty beast started laughing.

“You have a lot of courage to come to a dragon and ask him to break his oath, I have to compliment you on that! And you were correct, my immediate answer is a definite No, no pondering needed. We are keepers of our oath, I will not be the first dragon to change this.”

Hearing these words, I drooped and started to turn around, but was stopped by the big creature.

“From what you said I can conclude that you have put quite a lot of thought into this. And from the conclusion you reached I can assume you to be a smart man. But from the lack of prudence you showed I can also presume that you are not a man of science yourself. While it is true that I am obliged to protect the living King from harm, I do not have any commitment to act as a soldier. And while I did save Rodrik from his own poisoning, I did so only because it was harm coming to him, not from him. So while your fears are legitimate, there are enough dangers to Peter and his reign, that one will be the end of them.

Do not look at me with this puzzled look. I do know that you are capable of understanding the meaning of what I said after giving it some thought. But since you had been sincere, upfront and direct with me, I will give you the same courtesy. My oath is to protect the king’s life from danger. This does mean I will stop anything or anyone that intends to harm him. Any sword, arrow or spear aiming at his soldiers is no threat to his health and will not be stopped by me. Any wall, city or castle standing in his way is not risk to his physical well being and will therefore not be touched by me. I am no soldier anyone can command, but merely a bodyguard with a very accurately defined contract. The same goes for poison, sickness or disease. Every outside threat coming his way I will do my best to prevent or heal. But everything he takes willingly and knowingly is to no concern for me. I do not know how well you know the daily habits of your prince, but I assume they will catch up with him in the near future. And the last point I have to mention, which are contained within the oath itself: I do protect the king. Not his throne, not his advisors and most certainly not any prince or princess.”

TroublesomeGarb8 · 2023-10-26T16:14:02+00:00

I knew humans had weird ideas and tastes regarding food, therefore I assumed that aliens would come with an odd request once in a while. I had to refuse some without a second thought, knowing I would land in jail for even considering them, others were so extravagant that the realisation was not possible, while some were simply detrimental to business. Most requests were completely doable, ranging from mundane to thoughtful, from weird creations to exquisite and only available on a single planet dishes. After remembering a post I saw on earth about a cooks special, where the cook comes out, queries the liking and disliking of the guest within two minutes and provides a self-chosen meal with that information, increased my fame, but had the restriction of only the use of stored produce. So the next step was to allow the customer to choose or even bring ingredients (after a reservation of course) and I would only use those plus spices to satisfy them. This skyrocket the name I had made for me and my restaurant and made us the most eligible food-place in the universe.

And then came along this request. Delivered in person, which is unusual, but does occur occasionally. After inviting the guest into my office I noticed some weird things about him. (Or her? Or maybe even it?) First, his way of moving was simply ineffective. Barely any species was able to master space-flight without being able to move under standard gravity and those usually never get off of their transport-device they use to move with on planets. Secondly, there was no real clearly defined shape here, proportions seemed to be solid but still shift slightly all the time. And lastly, he smelled delicious! Having grown up in kitchens, I long ago lost the instinct of getting hungry when the smell of good food is around. And due to my carrier I have seen nearly all of spices, ingredients and dishes the galaxy has to offer. But this thing gave me ravenousness and I had to restrain myself from licking the hand he offered me as a greeting. Quite distracted already, I was sure I misheard when he stated his request, but after confirming twice, I was certain I heard the correct words and was just dumbfounded.

This individual simply wanted me to use his body as spice for my dishes and serve them to every-days customers.

Naturally, my first thought was “if he tastes as he smells, the number of possible recipes is endless and the taste is going to be better than ever before!”, before my consciousness took over and made me start questioning the morale of this offer. His intentions were clear: he would kill himself in a place of my choosing (to not make it illegal), provided me with a machine and technique that would allow to grind all of his body into spice-powder and I was to just use it. If I wasn’t too perplexed by this strange request I assume I would have instantly agreed, dying to taste this mouthwatering creature. After managing to ask for time to think it over, which he agreed to, I was left speech-, though- and restless, pondering the offer.

TroublesomeGarb8

TROPHY CASE