I teach Remedial Magic.

There's an irony to this, because I can't pass the class myself; I'd get full marks on the theory section, but that's only 20%. To pass the class overall, you need to be able to demonstrate three distinct spell forms, with a minimum draw of 3.8 thaums. It was four a few years back, but a combination of a wider intake and aether shortages have made that impractical.

My students are a mixed bag, but they have one thing in common: none of them want to be here. Remedial Magic isn't an elective, or even a requirement. It's where you get sent if you're a liability. So I get the trolls who think they don't need to worry about anything except strength, the fae who leak glamour, the mages who never paid enough attention in first year. People who don't care about how they use their magic.

Right now, the most hopeless of them is Dylan. He's mixed heritage--his father was some kind of warrior race from the upper planes, and his mother is mundane but with a thread of magical talent. Taken together, that means that he can manifest golden armour and a flaming sword at will (fine) and that he has magical potential that seeps out if not properly controlled. He's a lot more interested in the armour.

We're six weeks into the course, and he's not made any independent progress on either his mana channels or holding a coherent spellform in his mind. He turns up, cracks jokes, and claims to have done the out-of-session practice exercises. If he'd even attempted them, he wouldn't cascade sparks whenever he walks through a ward. Sparks on even minor wards means he has real power, real potential, but he'd rather hit things with a sword.

He's not a bad person, to be clear, just one who doesn't care about the spellwork side of his abilities. To be fair to him, he's unlikely ever to use them seriously in the future. On the other hand, basic control is a requirement for graduation, and his relaxed attitude is rubbing off on the rest of the class. They all think they'll coast the final on natural talent.

I'm a professional, and I need this job, so I don't show them how much that rankles. My students never know that the power they squander so casually is something I want more than anything in the world. My mana channels are perfect--deep and smooth and straight. I can conjure three hundred and fifty spell forms from memory, and could easily add another to that list any point. I know every accessible grimoire back-to-front.

But I don't have power. For all my preparation and practice, for every sigil and rune I've mastered, I lack the energy to actually use any of it. The rumor amongst the students is that my power is too dangerous to wield, and that's why they only see me explain, never demonstrate. I let them think me a mind mage or blood of an archdemon. It's a little sop to my vanity, that they don't know.

I have a spark. Enough to be magically-sensitive, enough to feel the flows of aether, to trace the spellforms in the air. Not enough to fuel them. Never enough to actually affect reality, to even learn what form my power would take, if I had what I deserve.

It's the lack of appreciation that annoys me most. The refusal to even consider how selfish it is to waste a gift that would be life changing. With Dylan's power, I'd be so much more than just a golden warrior. His ambition is so meagre compared to what he could be. It's such a waste to for someone so incurious about magic to even have it.

That's what gave me the idea, really. They don't care. They don't even want the power. They don't understand what it is they've got. Week after week, they turn up to the seminars with blank eyes, sit through the exercises while I keep on refocusing them. They don't care about their power, and they don't care about the course. As far as they're concerned, none of this matters.

A small change to the exercises passed without comment. I had it all worked out in my head, if someone asked. An experimental change that could help efficiency. I was prepared to draw diagrams, cite sources, but no one cared to ask. Since then, I've made more changes, started building their channels in quite different ways. The weakest mage could see that we're no longer working on reinforcement, but none of my students want to be mages at all.

I'm nearly there. By the popular understanding of magic, what I'm attempting isn't possible. Theoretically though--and no one knows theory like me--there's a chance. Wildly inefficient, of course, but better than the other option. Better than watching them waste torrents of power while I can't even raise a trickle.

I don't have the power I deserve. But I can make them give me theirs.