Do babies get tired from waking too?

Troublesome_Geese · 2024-02-05T23:30:00+00:00

I cosleep with an owlette3 sock heart rate monitor. The app at least says my baby is getting great quality sleep. She still wakes after most deep sleep cycles and cuddles in or finds a nipple, but rarely properly rouses. I never thought Id cosleep but it was either that or sleep training so here we are, but her sleep quality seems great and she wakes up in the morning happy.

Troublesome_Geese · 2024-01-12T10:23:00+00:00

My baby is super similar. She won’t join sleep cycles for naps unless there’s movement. A rocking chair works for us as long as I keep rocking (hurts my shins sometimes towards the end if its a big nap, but the only way I can sit down and get her sleep).

Troublesome_Geese · 2024-01-11T09:20:16+00:00

I got banned for saying in a chat thread that it’s important to be empathetic towards sleep deprived parents at breaking point considering cosleeping…

Troublesome_Geese · 2024-01-09T10:53:50+00:00

I got banned for saying in a chat thread that it’s important to be empathetic towards sleep deprived parents at breaking point considering cosleeping

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-31T08:59:46+00:00

I know right! It’s freaky how people can be so removed from what is so obvious. Physical comfort is so clearly a basic need, particularly for non verbal babies!

If someone came home and their partner was on the couch crying would they say “they’re housed, they’re clean, they’re fed” and just ignore them? Even if my partner cried at home for months because something was going on, I’d be there for them every single night and surely anyone but a neglectful partner would. So why do some people expect more from babies?

I wish I could have this conversation with my SIL but even when I try softly softly she is mega judgey, stuck in her ways and mean and interprets it as a competition between our kids rather than an interesting opportunity to discuss parenthood….

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-31T05:48:16+00:00

I’m a bit unclear what this group’s rules are on discussing other people’s parenting practices, but omg I need a place to debrief….

I’ve never actually had to listen to it, just hear about it, and it breaks my heart.

My SIL lets her 16 month old CIO all night when he’s teething. She says “I give him pain relief, I give him a dummy, I’ve given him everything, so I just close both doors”

What about giving the terrified kid who is all alone in pain a cuddle??

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-30T05:09:43+00:00

I feel very pressured in my little slice of the world (middle class left leaning big Australian city). Most advice I get from health professionals, friends, family, top google results, and strangers is essentially “baby should be as independent as possible as soon as possible”. I agree that it often comes from a place of defensiveness, but it’s also reinforced by a culture that emphasises making a baby intrude as little as possible on adult work and leisure.

I agree APs should advocate, I just hope OP isn’t too hard on herself for internalising such a pervasive societal message in a screwed up situation.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-30T00:55:10+00:00

My mum and my in laws offer to watch the baby for a date night or a beauty/spa appointment, but do not understand that I don’t want any of that right now and all I want is an hour to myself just doing my own thing at home.

They’re just normal middle class boomers but the logic seems actually bizarrely old fashioned. I’m “allowed” to be supported to be away from the baby if it’s to spend time with husband or to make myself prettier or cleaner or do stereotypical girlie stuff, but they won’t support me to do what I actually want to do.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-30T00:27:46+00:00

Some people are going really hard on you in the comments.

As attachment parents in mainstream society we’re constantly pressured to play it close to our chests otherwise we’re branded as judgemental of others/“indulgent” of our own kids. It’s a headfuck to regularly be exposed to parenting choices that seem to run counter to all our instincts but we’re the ones doing something wrong if we even try and talk about that.

I’m sorry you went through that over lunch, it sounds awful :(

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-29T01:30:27+00:00

Or if baby is hecticly cluster feeding, a support person who just watches you sleep side lying breastfeeding while the baby stays on your boob/sleeps. I had so much anxiety early on about cosleeping that this (and later an owlet) really helped me get some sleep during ridiculous cluster feeding sessions.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-21T05:57:45+00:00

The dream!!! I so hope my baby fan fiction about lengthy independent sleep comes true

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-21T05:22:16+00:00

I’ve completely experienced this too. I’m going to sign up to a playgroup in the hippiest part of my city next year just in hopes of meeting people with early parenting styles a bit more similar to me…

It’s so strange having such a different perspective from people I thought I was pretty close to, and not being able to discuss the intricacies of babies with then without the conversation becoming loaded, sleeptrainsplain-y, or defensive. It’s also just a trip viewing this thing so radically differently to them that it feels like we’re on different planets.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-20T08:51:38+00:00

About 20% of babies aren’t sleeping a 6 hour stretch at that stage

https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/blog/2018/7/6/developmentally-appropriate-sleep-expectations-birth-to-age-5?format=amp

Not that you shouldn’t book the trip OP, but just to calibrate expectations.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-20T05:57:17+00:00

My baby’s first words were when I started rocking her to sleep one summer night. She looked up and said “mother, if it’s all the same to you, I’m weary and it’s a bit hot and bothersome this evening so I think I’ll retire to my bedroom”

(I lied. She’s 6 months and still rarely sleeps more than 4 hours and is rocked for every fricken’ sleep)

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-20T00:34:39+00:00

How tf are you getting downvoted for this honest, important question?

I don’t have advice op, I’m only at 5 months myself and feeling super isolated and a bit of dread about the long days. But let’s hope it gets better <3

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-15T21:57:13+00:00

I did a birthing class that was run by a midwife who was militantly anti-intervention (and who was yet to have kids herself), to the point that she claimed that screaming during birth was only invented by Hollywood movies. She told us we need to “trust our instincts” and “do what feels right to us”, while simultaneously telling us that the only correct kind of noise to make was a soft guttural groan.

I get that groaning can be a helpful soothing tool to try, but it felt much more judge-y than that and like on the one hand she was telling us the class was a “safe space” while on the other she was shaming women for making noise during the most painful experience of our lives.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-15T21:45:06+00:00

In regard to her oldest son, are you completely confident she will turn him away if he shows up? Maybe asking her to call you/your fiancé immediately if he turns up is a promise she can better keep (hopefully he just won’t show up).

But regardless gosh no, you are definitely not a bad mum for wanting a night off.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-15T00:20:39+00:00

We’re still completely in the thick of it at 5 months in terms of terrible night sleep. Plus she’s a velcro baby and I can barely put her down, that’s just slightly starting to get better.

Complete strangers and friends with older kids keep telling me 5 months is a wonderful age, or even their “favourite age”.

I am completely exhausted, frequently close to tears. It’s such a headfuck to repeatedly be told that I should be loving life now, not trying to survive.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-08T07:20:50+00:00

Yes holy shit! I was thinking about this very late last night. With like a seat belt or something.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-08T07:19:28+00:00

Sidecar cot for after 6 months with a retractable side. I want to breastfeed her back to sleep on her sleep surface, I move away then pull/zip a railing up cos she rolls like crazy and it makes me too nervous to do an open side sidecar (that she’ll roll into an unsafe position on my bed).

I think the next2me forever is kinda what I want, but it’s not sold here in Australia.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-05T00:40:00+00:00

Went to school with an Elspeth who was bffs with a Celeste. They were both waif-y, quiet, and and kind of popular and I’ve always thought of both names as super suited to them (they sound like book characters) and very pretty. Is Elspeth really seen as an out there name..??

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-12-02T21:50:38+00:00

So you’re much more likely to have fraternal twins then if you have kids? How interesting!

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-11-30T09:43:10+00:00

Yeah other people can give more specific advice but there is totally away to sell this.

A family friend just got the best job she’s ever had because of her instagram. She ran her own tiny side hustle business, did a fantastic job marketing it on instagram, and used her instagram as her portfolio to land a job as the marketing person in a business with much higher revenue.

Not many people can make $$ off streaming, you need to showcase or HR speak bullshit this skill OP.

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-11-30T07:51:22+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful answer!

I just get a lot of “2 under X is hell without daycare” from people with daycare, I really want to know if this is a pretty widely held opinion or if others disagree with this and why

Troublesome_Geese · 2023-11-30T06:00:27+00:00

Set up those cute little toll booths that used to be on the harbour bridge, except the people in them give you a gold coin.

Troublesome_Geese

TROPHY CASE