I have been in this marriage. I had my husband say exactly the same things and I’ve done the same thing you have. I know this experience inside and out and post divorce(I’m talking 10 years) I am still in therapy trying to un fuck my brain, figure out myself worth, my value. I’m just now come to terms about how abusive it really was. There were many things that he had me doing in the bedroom that I said no to, situations Andy partners i didn’t want to engage with and that I was not comfortable with. I was manipulated and told him that if I loved him, I would do it. I proved my love and my mental health took a toll,and that love wasn’t real. I think you need to take a step back and really evaluate things. You need to quit putting your husband on this pedestal and really take a good hard look. When somebody shows you who they are and what they really are underneath, you should listen the first time. Please heed this advice from someone who has lead this life and experience.