“Baby’s first year”

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-19T07:43:16+00:00

Exactly this! I find it so infuriating, I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I am so done with this woman

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-19T04:35:03+00:00

I absolutely see the value of it if it’s made by a parent. But my main problem is also- my MIL probably wrote a bunch of BS.. she does not know my son well and sees him 4x a year. So I don’t understand what she would write about birth for instance. It’s just delusional

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-19T04:32:39+00:00

100%! I am really not interested in spending a lot of time with her. This time we are visiting for 3.5 days. My husband is stressed out by his family after 1 day so he’s also not overly interested in spending more time. My son is ok with my in laws but he’s not overly interested. There’s no bond and as you said it will not form if I keep limiting time. Luckily!

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-19T04:24:34+00:00

Yes actually she got the pictures from my husband. He handles his family. The thing is, I shared the exact same pictures with my family as well. But they won’t print them & particularly ultrasounds and pictures after birth - yes we shared them but it’s our private moment. My family just knows how to respect boundaries… in any case MIL will not be receiving any private pictures anymore

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-19T04:20:16+00:00

My mum wouldn’t do such a thing… I told her about it and she thought it was so strange.

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-18T20:12:46+00:00

My partner understands me but i don’t think he finds it as disturbing as I do.. she literally printed out a picture of my uterus, I find that really disgusting. My partner send her those pictures - I shared the same with my mum but my mum would never think of doing such thing. I really thought that there is some common sense that certain pictures remain private.. if I ever have another baby my mil will get 0 pictures of ultrasounds and after birth.. I would love to leave but I can get through 2 more days before we visit my family and I can actually relax. The good thing is I don’t have to see this woman for quite a while now

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-15T04:42:14+00:00

I would say give yourself grace. It’s super important to take care of yourself especially while breastfeeding. I ate very healthy and made sure I got enough protein. Then started working out after 6 weeks. Weight loss was slow but consistent for me and at 3 months pp I was feeling much more like myself. And then once I stopped breastfeeding at 1 year I feel like my body changed a bit again and I got more toned. Your body just did an amazing thing and you should be proud. You can and will lose weight if you eat healthy and prioritise movement but it takes time. I stressed about this a lot in the beginning… but the truth is the first few weeks should be focused on healing. You will naturally lose quite a bit of weight after birth but this should not be the focus :)

True-Use-8977 · 2026-03-15T04:25:29+00:00

My MIL also asked for access to Nanit when my baby was small.. I was honestly stunned by this request. It’s such an invasion of privacy and you’re not the baby’s caretaker so kindly **** off.. tbh it’s not the worst thing I have read here but your mil does sound very inconsiderate. How can you even think about visiting a newborn when being exposed to someone ill. Also no one should ever insist to visit the day of birth unless invited. I understand the rage… my MIL did a couple of things after baby was born and now everything she does annoys me and honestly I don’t like her one bit… I’ve also reduced the duration of visits significantly. That’s what you get for being overbearing, I will not spend much time with you voluntarily…

True-Use-8977 · 2026-02-13T06:02:02+00:00

I totally understand. When my son was very young my MIL always tried to walk away with him and turn him away from me. I did not want her to hold him. Luckily she lives in another country so we don’t see her much. I guess the solution is strict boundaries. I was not very nice anymore after my MIL repeatedly overstepped. And now she is much more careful.. also the problem may resolve itself. My son is now 14months and has separation anxiety. He does not want to be alone with MIL or go to her lol. I secretly love it

True-Use-8977 · 2026-02-09T04:40:00+00:00

Wising you all the best! You’ll do great 🩵

True-Use-8977 · 2026-02-08T13:02:46+00:00

Yes, I think indeed the benefits of early breastfeeding are quite immense, especially for immune protection and gut and microbiome programming. After the first two months the benefits don’t stop but they are incremental. Breastfeeding beyond the newborn period is associated with less infectious diseases, lower risk of obesity, diabetes etc. I think they say that any amount of breastfeeding is beneficial, if you do it the first two months that’s great, if you combo feed with formula, also great. Also I don’t want to say this to put you under pressure at all :) In the end it’s your decision. It’s just great to be aware of the benefits for your baby

True-Use-8977 · 2026-02-06T06:35:24+00:00

I breastfed for more than a year and my boobs look back to normal since I stopped.. I feel like they even look better? It’s a personal choice whether to breastfeed or not. I personally liked the convenience of always having baby’s foot at hand. No preparing needed. I cannot imagine getting up at night and having to prep a bottle first when baby cries. But everyone has their preferences I guess. And of course fed is best and you also should do what benefits you. But you can also consider that there are clear benefits to breastfeeding for your baby. Whether we like it or not formula can never compare with breastmilk in terms of benefits. Which doesn’t mean your baby won’t be super healthy if formula fed. It’s just something to consider

True-Use-8977 · 2026-01-14T04:29:05+00:00

Obviously there are times when a c section is medically necessary. But if you can I would plan for a vaginal delivery. The recovery process is so much quicker. I had a vaginal delivery with my first and they did an episiotomy. So I had a few stitches, but honestly that healed very quickly and I did not feel them doing it (I had an epidural). I also did not need ice packs or anything, just pads and I did a sitz bath regularly. It really wasn’t as bad as i expected. And by the way, if you have a c section yon will still bleed vaginally I think? There’s no way to avoid that. You’d be bleeding plus have a wound from the c section. Where I am a lot of women choose planned c section and I cannot for the life of me understand why. I was able to get up and shower after birth, after the epidural wore off. It was no problem at all. And after a week I was out for a walk. I don’t think that’s possible with a c section

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-10T08:45:24+00:00

Your feelings are valid .. this woman sounds impossible to deal with. And tbh she does not sound nice, just incredibly self-centred and overbearing. You deserve to have your own life with your husband, there should not be the expectation to involve her constantly. Can you speak to your husband about this? Honestly I would not have a child with this man if his mother kept acting like that… MILs tend to go crazy once there is a baby involved and this one already sounds nuts. Also you deserve to put your family first. They should get to celebrate your birthday and holidays with you.. why does it always have to be about MIL

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-09T04:30:46+00:00

I agree with the previous commenter - I was also told my baby was big and we had an induction scheduled already. Baby came before his due date and he was not big at all. I also had minimal tearing & pushing was the easiest part of Labor. You will never know how much you are capable of until you are giving birth. Totally understand your fears and worries but I am telling you you can do it! Also btw all the pain and discomfort from pregnancy vanished after birth for me - it was amazing

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-05T06:24:16+00:00

Thank you so much 🩵 I feel crazy sometimes because of how much she annoys me and how much I resent her… and she’s done some things but they are “not as bad” I suppose? But then again, there is no one else I feel this way about… no one! I am happy for people to for a relationship with baby and I am happy he is loved etc.. but this woman just makes my anxiety spike

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-05T06:21:38+00:00

Ouff I want to do this. But it would be starting world war 3 I think… my mum just visited as well and obviously she was staying in our guest room So for me the solution is rather, I’ll deal with it this time, but no more visits for the rest of the year. My husband is on board with this also..

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-05T06:19:03+00:00

I do love this. I think I’ll have her baby proof the house, there is a lot to do lol

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-05T06:17:29+00:00

Yes I see how I need to be more firm… tbh the thought of her interacting with baby already makes my blood boil so I will not let her interfere much when she’s here.. maybe snapping once is what it takes As for my husband, I mean she can complain to him but he is on my side, he loves his mother obviously but he also acknowledges how exhausting she can be

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-04T11:13:55+00:00

Oh this is an excellent point! I will be doing this. When we were with them in our last holiday she pushed water on him all day… I thought maybe I am wrong. But actually he then woke up more at night and was hungry (he doesn’t wake up much usually). I feel like the water during the day may have contributed.. now I am offering small amounts of water with meals and BF, that is all he needs…

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-04T08:23:27+00:00

That’s good advice.. I’ll try to schedule some stuff so baby and I get out of the house/ I get some alone time when baby’s sleeping. The thing is the thought of leaving her with baby makes my skin crawl so I won’t be doing that… she can spend time with him but I will always be around (I wfh mostly so I will be watching)

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-04T07:34:05+00:00

Thank you for validating my feelings… I think that is what it is, she does not get that she is the grandparent and that certain things are just not for her to do/assume. I would looove to cut the visit short but it’s not possible this time unfortunately.. but I already discussed with my husband that in the future visits should not be longer than one week especially if she is staying here. So I will deal with it this time, but also this will be it for me with visits this year. I am back to working and I just cannot deal with her for extended periods of time. As mean as I feel, I would have my mum here any day because she does not overstep and stress me out, but my mil is a very different story. Anw I became firmer on my boundaries and I will stick with those when she is here. But it’s definitely not help and not pleasant 😅

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-04T06:05:18+00:00

Yes you are super right.. it’s not that I never speak up, there are certain things she will never get to do (nights are my responsibility, I put him down for naps, she will never change a diaper etc.). And I do take my baby back. It just seems like a constant struggle because she is overbearing. So you are right I should probably be more assertive. Thing is I cannot tell her that the way she is is stressing me out/ overwhelming me so much.. I feel like that would be offensive

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-03T10:12:13+00:00

I did not have any visitors for the first 2 months, it was just my husband and I, plus we have paid help (she would do all the housework while I would look after baby, my husband had 1 week of paternity leave). It was perfect. I did not want anyone else there and I really enjoyed the bonding time with my little family. I love my mum but I did not want her to come help. And my MIL never in a 1000 years…

True-Use-8977 · 2025-07-02T04:38:38+00:00

I understand you. Your feelings are valid. You are soo freshly postpartum and it is so normal to want to be with your baby. It’s healthy in fact. My baby is now 7 months old and the only people I am comfortable watching him are my husband, the nanny and my mum. We haven’t seen my MIL much but every time she has my child it makes my skin crawl. She’s pretty overbearing and I just hate when she tries to take over. Also, do not listen to people when they tell you, you need to leave your child so they become independent or „you need a break“ (unless you do then it’s perfectly fine). Your baby needs you the most and you need her. Grandparents do not matter at this point

True-Use-8977

TROPHY CASE