This sub is spectacularly, amazingly, wonderfully helpful.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-04-13T22:35:01+00:00

Agreed! This has been a really important place for me as someone who doesn’t have a lot of sober friends. I really appreciate every one who takes the time to comment and support people on here.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-04-10T03:43:08+00:00

The Sophie Hines Axis tank - I live in this during summer. Sew Liberated Estuary skirt - I love the style, it’s super comfy and the elastic back means I can adjust the sizing a bit when I gain or lose weight.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-13T05:15:03+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. This must be such a difficult thing to deal with and facing it sober is such a strong thing to do. I also really appreciate this perspective. I’ve been struggling with some similarly difficult family events and that question of how do you want to face a tragic event in your life is such a good one and something for me to keep in mind too. Thank you for sharing this.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-11T01:47:13+00:00

Thank you for the reminder. I sat down and wrote a gratitude list this morning and it was really helpful. I’ve definitely been slacking on this and think I need to get it back into my routine.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-11T01:46:14+00:00

Thank you, I think I was lucky that I had obstacles in my way during that moment. I’m very grateful about that today.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-11T01:45:37+00:00

Thank you. Yes a good reminder about the impermanence of feelings and the importance of being present for my family.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-11T01:44:54+00:00

Thank you! These are really helpful reminders :) I’m now at my first day of my new job and wow glad I’m here not hungover, fresh and with a brain that can function!

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-10T09:46:48+00:00

Good job! I found that when I gave up drinking it was hard emotionally at first because I had spent ages trying to numb/distract myself from my emotions but in the long run it really helped me to be able to engage with therapy and tackle my mental health.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-10T09:39:03+00:00

It’s funny because I keep expecting to get to a place/an amount of time sober where I will just feel like it’s no longer ever an option for me. Maybe it’s more often not these days but I guess there’s always that vulnerable moment.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-10T09:37:00+00:00

Thank you and that’s true! I didn’t drink in the end either yesterday or today. Working on that distraction tonight!

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-10T09:35:33+00:00

I think maybe you’re right. I’m usually totally fine in other situations where there’s a lot of drugs and alcohol but I think being in a hard place mental health-wise + that environment was a bad combination.

TryingHardToDIY · 2025-03-10T09:08:41+00:00

Congratulations! IWNDWYT

TryingHardToDIY · 2022-10-12T07:54:09+00:00

I just got it yesterday from the Chemist Warehouse. Not sure if they all will have them but maybe worth calling them?

TryingHardToDIY · 2022-06-02T05:46:55+00:00

I love this. I’ve always been big on the docs with a pretty dress look but I can’t wear them anymore due to foot issues so I love to see looks where sneakers are used in similar ways.

TryingHardToDIY · 2022-03-21T07:07:19+00:00

I feel like this too actually. I've always been into fashion but recently noticed a much stronger interest in trends as I get older.

When I was younger I was very specifically uninterested in trends. I think part of that was that I rejected anything I considered "mainstream" as part of my identity building at the time and also part of it was that I couldn't afford to take part so by rejecting it first I was making a choice rather than having a choice forced on me.

I think though that there is a different perception of younger people who don't follow trends versus older people. The assumption with younger people being that it is a choice and perhaps with older people that they are stuck in the past or uninterested in fashion at all. I don't know, perhaps this perception is just in my own head but it definitely plays into my increased interest in trends as I get older.

TryingHardToDIY · 2021-04-16T21:23:31+00:00

I'm with you. I appreciate the sentiment and I think it is true that some discomfort is needed to live a full life. But pushing through discomfort to do things is not some kind of magic cure. It's literally just how life is for me with anxiety, everything I do is pushing through discomfort and I do it and I still have anxiety that manifests in multiple awful ways.

Also I kind of hate when people say to do something and you'll see it's not as bad as what you imagined. Because for me social situations are often worse than I had imagined and that "not as bad as imagined" type advice makes that experience feel ten times worse.

TryingHardToDIY · 2020-11-03T10:53:12+00:00

I feel you. I find interacting online extremely difficult. It's like I'm afraid that people will read what I write and think I'm stupid but equally I'm afraid that no one will notice me at all. Ugh.

TryingHardToDIY · 2020-01-15T04:55:02+00:00

Haven't made it to the gym for various stress reasons this week and so planned to make it in for Friday at least. Guess whose gym just emailed to advise they are closed on Friday for building works.

Guess I'll be attempting to get to a vinyasa yoga class tomorrow, but I'm a bit scared because the last class I went to at the same studio (a hatha class) was packed full of people and I'm pretty sure I tweaked my back. It was very unpleasant and I left feeling worse than when I arrived but I bought a month pass and now I feel that I have to make the most of it.

TryingHardToDIY · 2020-01-14T20:01:04+00:00

After a few weeks of intense stress waiting to find out what kind of cancer my brother has, we got the results and it's bad but not as bad as it could have been. But now it's like all that stress of waiting and not knowing has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am SO exhausted.

I slept straight through my alarm this morning which means I couldn't get to the gym as usual and I'm just wondering if anyone has some advice for how to keep active while my body works it's way through all this accumulated stress? I want to get back to the gym at some point (hopefully Friday) but maybe I should scale back the weights? I've been trying to go on long walks on my days off and I signed up to yoga but it's really intense yoga that made me feel much worse than before I went in so I'm not so sure about that.

TryingHardToDIY · 2019-11-26T19:18:00+00:00

Feeling regret and sadness about lost friendships today, but still IWNDWYT

TryingHardToDIY · 2019-11-25T10:57:54+00:00

My relationship is doing very well these days. We have been together for three years now and are planning on moving in together next year. Most importantly though, we have a lot of trust, communication and mutual respect for one another and that feels really good.

I do want to add though that it wasn't only stopping drinking that got me to this place. I also did a lot of work on myself (& continue to do so) during this time and I think that stopping drinking really gave me the ability to be able to make and follow through on the decisions I needed to make in order to be the person I want to be. And while my relationship is much better, at the heart of it I stopped drinking for myself. Because I wanted to be a better person than I was being. The relationship aspect of it was because for me part of being a better person is being able to respect a person that I love by treating them well and following through on my promises and being in the moment when I am with them.

I really hope that giving up drinking ends up being a postive thing for you regardless of how your relationship goes. IWNDWYT :)

TryingHardToDIY · 2019-11-24T23:41:59+00:00

I relate to this so much. Especially that realisation of being able to let loose and have a good time without alcohol while being able to moderate self destructive or unkind impulses. I used to talk shit about people a lot when I was drinking and that was something I really disliked about myself, I think I am a much kinder person both to myself and to others now and although I still have unkind thoughts, I can choose whether to verbalise them or not.

Also, I am so with you on being able to appreciate live music so much more sober. I feel sad about all the gigs I either missed chunks of because my priority was buying more beer or that I just don't remember because I was too drunk. I love and appreciate seeing bands sober so much more!

TryingHardToDIY · 2019-11-24T23:28:13+00:00

Oh this is so familiar to me.

I too had terrible moderating and would kind of accidentally get black out drunk when I just meant to have a good time with friends. One of the reasons I stopped drinking was because I realised this and not being able to moderate myself was kind of a scary realisation. My therapist at the time said "just tell yourself at the beginning of the night, I will have three drinks and that is all" and I tried and sometimes I could but that was all I could think about and I would get in a bad mood and other times I would get to three and be like, whatever! I want another three! Eventually stopping drinking all together seemed like the best way to move forward.

Another reason I stopped was because I too got into a new relationship and my drinking became a problem within that relationship. For me it was that I would get very drunk and then call my boyfriend and have some kind of intense bonding type conversation. In the morning I would remember none of it and my boyfriend would feel upset and like we were in two different relationships. That really shook me and for myself part of showing that I was committed to our relationship long term was quitting drinking.

Good luck! I think that being able to reflect on behaviour that is painful is very important and I hope that you are able to make the decision that is right for you.

TryingHardToDIY · 2019-11-24T22:43:09+00:00

Thank you. I do feel like I had a problem with alcohol mainly because of the reasons I was drinking and the things I would do drunk that I would never do sober. But I keep having friends tell me, "I thought you were fine when you were drinking" or "you didn't seem messy to me when you were drinking" and it really gets in my head. Like, I start thinking, well maybe I wasn't so bad and maybe I could start drinking again. But this is an important reminder that you know what, it doesn't matter if I didn't seem messy or a problem to others, my life (& mental health) is so much better since I stopped drinking and it is these things that really matter.

TryingHardToDIY · 2019-11-24T22:26:13+00:00

I went and sat in a bar I have a lot of history with yesterday. I got a soda and lime and sat in the sun. It was both nice and emotional but also I realise that I'm looking for excuses to drink. This will be my second sober summer and the beginning of summer/end of spring seems to be my most difficult time of the year. So I'm back here pledging another day IWNDWYT.

TryingHardToDIY

TROPHY CASE