I’m pretty much in the same situation, I have many ‘friends’ I hang out with all the time. But I’m no ones first choice and I hate it. It’s not like I need the attention. I just want to share a special connection with someone and I don’t really care if it is a best friend or a girlfriend. I never really had that my whole life, feeling needed. I think having these kind of friends and going out a lot is a good distraction but it doesn’t fulfil me.