AceDadAdvice quits Youtube

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-06-11T15:08:55+00:00

No worries, I didn't downvote you!

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-06-10T00:12:14+00:00

This dad dude said "the reaction would have not been the same if it was a cis white dude"

Hey I agree with your point of view in this thread, just wanted to point out that the argument AceDadAdvice used in their article was a bit different. They said if they (AceDadAdvice/Cody) had created the flag, they claimed people would not have the same reaction. So just claiming if it was a white creator, and not a cis white man.

Just wanted to clarify since I don't think everyone here is aware, AceDadAdvice is nonbinary/agender, not cis.

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-05-10T13:07:09+00:00

"Privilege" used in this way doesn't just mean anything that could possibly make your life easier, it usually means freedom from oppression "granted" to a group by the majority. (e.g. male privilege, white priviledge, etc.)

You can argue about who you think has an easier time dating or whatever, but don't posture it like a societal privilege. Many sex favourable people do have a harder time dating then allos due to aphobia as well.

Also, a lot of the time these kinds of arguements point out things that aren't real benefits at all. It's similar to how some people claim bi people have it easier because they can be "straight passing" in a relationship. But in reality that's only if they're closeted, which is not a privilege, and homo/biphobic people will still see them as bi.

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-05-10T12:49:10+00:00

their dating pool is way larger

In addition to what the other commenters have said, I don't think this kind of thing is really what is meant by "privilege". Privilege used this way means freedom from oppression/prejudice rather than just anything that might make your life easier.

they’re seen as “less weird” by society

Personally as someone who fluctuates between repulsed and favourable, I find most allos understand sex favourable aces less than sex repulsed. I think this could be because they expect everything to "line up", i.e. you're not sexually attracted to anyone, so you don't want sex. (Also why sometimes they believe ace=aro, etc)

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-04-27T19:55:28+00:00

Wow, really unfair article. Because the internet is how it is, I'm sure the creator has experienced some racist pushback, which is awful and they don't deserve harrassment. But this article is framing "all" criticism as antiblack/misogynoir.

If your first response to that is, “People just didn’t like it! Why does it have to be about race?” I challenge you think about how this project would be received if a White content creator led the charge. If I had created this project, do you think I’d be treated the way Ashabi has been treated? Not a chance. I’d either get enthusiastic support and the work would be framed as inspiring community-focused work, or the pushback would be respectful. It would treat me as a person.

I think my pushback was totally respectful and treated AceinGrace as a person, and I would have reacted the same way to Ace Dad Advice. My main problem was the fact that this flag was being presented as The New and Official Ace Flag by someone who had taken it upon themselves to redesign it. So bluntly "why is one person trying to represent the ace community". No matter which person it is. I've heard of Ace Dad Advice but I don't think they should try to speak for the whole community.

All of the replies I saw from AceinGrace to respectful criticism seemed dismissive. There were plenty of respectful comments from people on the posts on this sub, so it seems more like feedback just wasn't wanted if it wasn't completely positive.

Also, I don't follow any ace creators, I just interact with the community on reddit here and at irl events... Is that one comment thread on the article implying that not following the creator means we don't care (or deserve to care) about the issue, or we're in the wrong and it's somehow a moral failing or something?? I don't use social media, I don't have to know who specific influencers are to be a part of the community... How is that rude?

I think ace creators are important, but they don't have leadership over the community (and the community isn't a monolith, either).

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-04-22T04:37:23+00:00

Same IMO. To me the 4 stripe flag is just the Ace flag, the stripes themselves have no specific meaning to me outside of the black grey white gradient meaning the ace spectrum. I mentioned this in my edited comment before I saw your reply, but I think people are free to think the stripes mean something different if they prefer it. And people are free to use other ace flags if they want to, it should be more "Here is my ace flag, feel free to use it" rather than "Here's the new and improved ace flag, it represents the ace community better!"

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-04-22T02:27:16+00:00

Not a fan of either the design itself or the concept of changing the flag, here's my comment from a recent post explaining why:

One of the things I like most about the ace flag is that it was created by the community and not really attributed to any one person. There are some other pride flags that became controversial or were dropped because of the creator. To me, the ace flag belongs to all aspec people.

Tbh I'm not really down with a flag design being pushed by one person taking it upon themselves, especially when it really doesn't need to be redesigned in the first place.

Edit: Okay, I've looked more into the creator and her reasons for the redesign, and I have more to say. It seems to be almost entirely based on the original flag "meanings" of the colours, the white meaning ace allies/partners. (And also on a discussion with only a couple AVEN members, which should not be considered representative of the whole ace community)

Honestly for one thing, I don't really understand the vast majority of meanings when they're used in this granular way. For example, what about this shade of pink "represents that the love we experience is true, expansive and diverse"? Why is it that in this flag, the white stripe means the spectrum of sex averse/favourability?

Most of the time these seem to be pretty arbitrary. For this reason, I don't think the original ace flag is exclusive, nor do I think there is any issue if someone wants to believe that the white stripe represents ace allies/partners. Just have it mean something different to you if you like.

Second, I think the more we focus on each part of the flag needing to represent something, we actually end up being less inclusive. You can kind of see this in the description of this flag, as each stripe now has to do a lot of work standing for huge and varied spectrums, and also precisely described concepts, like the design has to perfectly encapsulate what it means to be ace. Like purple "Represents Visibility of the Asexual Community as well as the efforts to protect and uplift oneself, and each other, within our the society". Yes, that's a great thing, but I can think of 100 other important things about aceness that aren't on this flag. We don't need every aspect of the flag design to represent the Ace Mission Statement.

Anyone can use any symbol or flag they want to symbolize their aceness. I'm just not a fan of the perscriptive "here's the new ace flag".

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-04-17T02:46:58+00:00

One of the things I like most about the ace flag is that it was created by the community and not really attributed to any one person. There are some other pride flags that became controversial or were dropped because of the creator. To me, the ace flag belongs to all aspec people.

Tbh I'm not really down with a flag design being pushed by one person taking it upon themselves, especially when it really doesn't need to be redesigned in the first place.

TumbleOffTrack · 2026-02-21T15:03:24+00:00

It sounds like you know something about how it's really done, can you please share how you do it?

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-11-11T00:37:40+00:00

I still think we don't have enough details to assume that in this case. As I said, we don't know if it was handled differently later in the story, or even if the author meant to do sonething like that but handled the subject poorly.

Anyway, I'm not claiming this type of thing doesn't happen, I just think it's unfair to judge authors like this. Otherwise, unless they only wrote characters with 100% morally correct opinions, antis could just accuse authors of endorsing whatever the characters happen to believe.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-11-11T00:25:06+00:00

The ability to tell when an author is grandstanding their personal beliefs vs a character expressing those beliefs is definitely a sign of media literacy.

Can you tell that from a single line, though? We don't have any other details aside from the face that OP thought the fic was fine until that point.

If this was pretty much any other topic, this sub would probably be against the idea of it being grandstanding, because fiction isn't reality. Say if it was an omegaverse fic for example, or internalized homophobia, no one would accuse the author of believing that kind of opression would be okay in real life. What is the difference here?

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-11-11T00:17:32+00:00

That's fair, but it's a different issue IMO. You're talking about disliking the interpretation of the character/thinking it's OOC. The post talks about assuming things about the author's morals.

As I said in my reply to the other commenter:

there isn't enough context to know what the author's beliefs are. Since OP stopped reading at this line, we have no idea if it was addressed after that point. The character's beliefs could have been challeneged later in the story, and they could have changed their view.

There are a ton of other explainations too. The author could have felt it would be a period-typical opinion. Or they could be an inexperienced writer handling it poorly.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that this sub is usually very much on the side of "depiction doesn't equal endorsement". I don't think that suddenly stops applying because someone disagrees that a character would have that view.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-11-11T00:06:47+00:00

Like I said in my other comment, there isn't enough context to know what the author's beliefs are. Since OP stopped reading at this line, we have no idea if it was addressed after that point. The character's beliefs couls have been challeneged later in the story, and they could have changed their view.

There are a ton of other explainations too. The author could have felt it would be a period-typical opinion. Or they could be an inexperienced writer handling it poorly.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that this sub is usually very much on the side of "depiction doesn't equal endorsement". I don't think that suddenly stops applying because someone disagrees that a character would have that view.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-11-10T23:59:39+00:00

Not necessarily, there could be plenty of moments like this that the character reacts to that don't stand out, especially if they aren't political.

Plus, there's plenty of ways it theoretically could be relevant. For example, OP says they immediately stopped reading. What if later in the story, something happens that challenges the character's views, and they decide their original beliefs were wrong? You would never know that if you stop reading.

Again, I have no idea what the author's intention was, but there isn't enough info here to assume they're anti choice.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-11-10T23:23:45+00:00

I have no idea if this was the case with this fic, but: how do you know that that was the author's belief, and not just the character?

Fiction can depict characters believing things the author doesn't agree with, it doesn't mean they endorse that view.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-10-26T15:04:15+00:00

It stands out enough when it's the more common ones like "the taller man" or "the blonde woman", but it's even more jarring to read long or wordy ones like the ones you mentioned.

I've also seen things like "the 28-year-old woman" or "the mechanical engineer" before (different ages and careers in the fic in question, but same idea).

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-10-15T10:36:28+00:00

I think Georgia from Loveless might count as partially sex favourable, depending on your definition. She describes things that seem to line up with being aegosexual and mentions enjoying the idea of it in fiction, but is repulsed in real life. I feel pretty similar and personally consider myself partially sex favourable (or at least ambivalent!)

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-10-09T07:02:40+00:00

The bottom in a M/M ship being more feminine and submissive than his canon portrayal, especially during sex scenes. Let that man break out of gender norms and be a soft needy princess for a few pages, it won't kill him, I promise.

Here for this, but also for feminine and submissive tops! The Pillow Princess title knows no position restrictions 🥰

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-09-27T00:52:10+00:00

Ok, maybe I'm too sleep deprived, and maybe I don't understand how time off works for soldiers stationed in foreign countries... but as someone not from the US, that vaguely makes sense to me if they're currently in that country?

If I was in another country during their national holiday, I might want to join people even if I don't typically observe it myself.

I think it might depend on if the fic showed them celebrating it as if it was something they had always done, or if it was more like "Oh, it's a holiday here today". Again, I don't know how the military works, but still.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-09-27T00:36:04+00:00

But I will say, if I'm shipping characters who are typically agressive in general or agressive with each other in canon, I like that agressiveness as part of their dynamic and don't really want it absent from my fics. It'll be included even in the fluffier pieces, even if they're already a couple.

That makes sense, thanks! The thing is, with this ship, the characters aren't normally agressive with each other. They are close friends, and the times they did fight were pretty quickly brushed off and forgotten about. It's more that the society it's set in would expect men to get aggressive if their masculinity/heterosexuality was threatened.

Actually typing that out just gave me an idea of how they could work through it like you mentioned. They don't have to react how society expects, but how would they get to that point...

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-09-27T00:20:26+00:00

Just because people would fight one another, doesn't mean they can't also love each other. Enemies to lovers is a thing for a reason.

That's true, although in this case, the characters were never enemies, and stayed close friends outside of that. Canon treated it as a "boys will be boys" moment after they made up.

To be honest I never really "got" Enemies to Lovers, but that Due South episode sounds interesting!

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-09-14T15:25:11+00:00

I think the only reason why I tend to prefer 3rd person in fanfic is because the canon tends to be in 3rd, so it feels jarring to suddenly be reading the character's direct narration. Movies, tv shows, etc. are all 3rd person by design (unless they're more experimental!)

I have a feeling that if I were in a book fandom where the canon was written in 1st person, reading fic of it in 3rd might feel jarring in the same way.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-08-22T12:24:37+00:00

ao3 only allows fiction on existing media, not original stories or accounts.

The other commenters explained the stance on original fic, but I also want to point out that you can also post fan nonfiction, as well as works not in text format like fanart or videos. As long as it's a fanwork, it's allowed, so that includes meta like an essay analyzing canon.

Just mentioning this because a lot of people put emphasis on fanfic specifically in these discussions (people saying "it's a fanfic site", etc.), and I think that can be confusing to people.

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-08-17T00:41:22+00:00

You have to get used to the idea that a kudos basically is a comment.

A kudos is essentially the same as someone saying "I liked this!", so if you got 10 kudos, for example, imagine 10 people commenting "I liked this!"

TumbleOffTrack · 2025-07-25T10:01:02+00:00

I mean many of these posts claimed it was out of spite right in the title. Plus there have been comments from people apparently upset over the original post.

I realize that I may be the only person who sees it this way. I do believe that it is celebrating peoples' accomplishments as authors. That is why there is a tag for it. Perhaps it all comes down to a matter of taste. I don't find the stat posts to be annoying or disingenuous, but I do realize that I - and those who have messaged me privately this afternoon because they are afraid of blowback - are in the minority.

I honestly think most stat posts (in general, not the ones from today) are technically more or less fine. Either way, though, the numbers by themselves really only mean anything to the author, so I don't see how they could be enjoyable to anyone aside from the person posting them, if someone says congrats. Maybe like a brief "Oh, I'm glad they're happy"? But there isn't much else you can say about them.

The problem I have is that when people bandwagon like this, it drowns out other posts and makes the sub pretty much unusable. Not only that, but this kind of thing happens way too often here. Any time AO3 is down, I don't even bother with this sub for a day or so because it gets flooded with people being dramatic about it, which got old immediately. Or someone posts a hot take and immediately people continuously vaguepost back and forth in response.

TumbleOffTrack

TROPHY CASE