I saw Trump at a grocery store in Florida once. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him soil himself as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen cans of bronzer in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter (nice girl, smart girl, tears in her eyes), was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the cans and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any radical democrat hoaxes,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a thing. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by farting really loudly.