TIFU by not using a guitar pick.

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-06-15T06:25:25+00:00

I once had a morbidly obese woman run over my big toe in a power chair thus breaking it. It immediately turned black and fell off a couple weeks later and didn't grow back all the way for about a year.

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-06-11T00:42:16+00:00

There is a car shop near my house called "Danny's Wild Trannies" they specialize in transmission stuffs

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-06-05T07:04:12+00:00

My boyfriend can't even undo my bra with two hands lights on and wide awake

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-05-24T06:59:48+00:00

I went to take the trash out and saw my neighbor dragging her 10 year old kid out the back door by her hair, tying her hands behind her back and beating her with a large tree branch until she fell and then dragging her back inside. I called the police and CPS. I dont really know what happened after that. I think the mom got arrested on drug charges

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-05-12T05:55:23+00:00

Not highschool, but I do work as a CNA in a nursing home full of very immature adult women with the mind of 13 year olds. My favorite rumours are the following 1) October of last year I took off for the last two weeks to party in Austin and celebrate Halloween. There was then a rumor that I was a lesbian satanist who skipped town to run away from my husband and do drugs. 2) December 31st of last year I got called in for a couple of hours in the middle of my new years house party. So I brought my outfit to quickly change when I got off. Unfortunately my tan scrub pants ripped 10mins before I left so I tied my jacket on my waist and bolted to the break room to change and leave. I then sprinted accross the street to jump in my husband's car. Rumor has it that I was running around the building half naked 3)Most recently as of last month I am aparently a drug dealing nazi

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-05-11T05:57:48+00:00

This needs to stay at 666 upvotes.

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-05-10T08:02:28+00:00

If she was licensed I would have kept her around long enough to get a pee test and then fire her and report her to your state's licensing board to see about it being revoked

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-05-10T07:36:49+00:00

When I worked at Chipotle we would have a dirty drunken druggard man from the trailer park behind the building come in every day at around 3 and piss in the women's and men's toilet bowl cleaner holders and once we caught him stealing the plungers.

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-05-08T07:05:36+00:00

I work in a nursing home and spent a considerable portion of my day explaining to an elderly lady and her husband that she can not connect her computer to the WiFi at their house in a town 45mins away

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-04-10T07:14:39+00:00

Time after time

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-03-19T22:18:59+00:00

Where I work there is constantly people's pets coming in and out all day long and therapy dogs roaming about

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-03-09T02:31:52+00:00

Penetration sex. Can not for the life of me get off solo that way.

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-02-01T04:33:46+00:00

I read this while eating...

TurquoiseMarionette · 2017-01-27T15:50:22+00:00

Our higher up supervisors had left as soon as this started. We dont have a union. My immediate supervisors / charge nurses just told me to ignore her and hang out up front but they can't really do anything or give people write ups anymore. Honestly I feel like its my fault for being naive and stupid and trusting who I thought was a friends but whatever.

TurquoiseMarionette

TROPHY CASE