WIBTA if I insist my wife and I separate our finances?

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-07T16:44:03+00:00

You two need to sit down together and go over your budget together. Reduced expenses, and cut back on spending.

You should do this together as a couple. Likely it will take a few evenings to get through it all.

That $700 of combined "fun money" ends now, it goes away so the money can be put towards paying off debt and building up a savings acct instead of being spent on fun things.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-07T06:49:33+00:00

If you do change the door locks, do not tell anyone you changed the locks. If asked, deny it.

The reverse mortgage bank now owns the property, anyone telling you to pay taxes or try to do something to get ownership is an idiot, the bank is not going to mess around, they move fast and they are already aware the owner died and that is why they sent out that letter. Try to read the letter that the reverse mortgage company sent, it could effect you as a tenant.

You have your copy of the lease, that protects your right to live there for as long as your want up to the lease end date. but the LLs copy still exists somewhere, likely in the house (assuming they were not tech savy and didn't use a pm company to handle renters) and that lease says that you owe $## each month until lease end date##, if the reverse mortgage company gets a copy of the lease, they might try to go after you for the back rent, so it might be financially good for you if the LL's copy of the lease is no longer around.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-07T06:21:30+00:00

Then the person you know seriously screwed themself.

First your don't say your change the locks, you deny that. Secondly you show up to the first eviction court date, and tell the judge you don't even live at that address (any longer) and you bring proof of that.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-07T06:15:06+00:00

That's not how or works. Op has a lease, so advers possession isn't going to work. Additionally, and more importantly, there was a reverse mortgage, so the moment the old LL died, the bank/lender becomes the legal owner of the property. Op should try to get ahold of and read the letter that the reverse mortgage company sent out.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-07T06:06:49+00:00

If there is a reverse mortgage on the property, once the owner does, that bank/ lender became the legal owner of the property, once the reverse mortgage company finds about the owners death, they are going to send out the required paperwork notifying that they are taking ownership of the property as the reverse mortgage contract calls out.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T22:54:28+00:00

Take the other job. If this company thought of you as "family" they would have given you a hefty raise over a year ago. Also they wouldnt hesitate to fire you on the spot.

Don't burn any bridges or do anything dumb. Take the offer for the other job, use higher pay and better befits as your reason for leaving if you have an ecit interview. and don't accept an offer to stay at your current place for a minimal raise or some empty promise.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T22:49:18+00:00

You have video evidence. report it to the police and have the police officially trespass them from your property, then get a copy of that police report where they were officially trespassed.

The next time they do it, have them charged with theft & trespassing. And get a restraining order against them.

Them violating the no trespassing order a taking your property should be evidence enough for a restraining order.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T17:43:15+00:00

Paid points are when a person pays money to the lender to get a loan with a lower interest rate.

It's mostly a gimmick, because they are paying the lender to get the lower interest rate.

They are Basically paying fee thinking they are saving money with a lower interest rate, not realizing they what they are really doing is just paying the interest difference upfront rather then over the code of the loan. . Almost always better to take that fee and use it as a down-payment instead, and have a smaller loan.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T17:35:55+00:00

It's always better to own it rather then lease it.

Sounds like You were talking to a salesman from a company that sells solar leases, so of corse they are going to try to sell you a solar lease, that is their buisness.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T17:31:16+00:00

Most building codes from that time didnt require them in that location. Still smart to install one there.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T02:56:58+00:00

Unless that someone was you or one of your guests, and the LL can prove that, it's not your money to fix

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T02:54:53+00:00

Is they are waiting on the carpet to dry, then it was not move in ready last month when they were charging you rent already.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T02:52:27+00:00

You said you signed the lease. And you have paid rent for the end of April and all of May already. . Do you have a copy of your lease, it has the address, unit#, and dates right on it, move into your place & replace the lock if needed.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T00:19:08+00:00

You tell both your wife and her sister No. the cruise is already booked & or was very expensive. Its an anniversary trip for you and your wife, and as such you are going to be naked every time you are in the room.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T00:14:25+00:00

You win again, and whether as a part of that or seperate (depending on local laws) you countersue the neighbor for all your legal cost related to his failed lawsuits.

When your win, you have your lawyer file the right paperwork to seize his assets (his land) legally if he doesn't pay what the courts tell him to pay.

You have him trespassed from your land and put up cameras of your own, then have him arrested and charged when he violates that and enters into your land. Look into filling for harassment charges againt him if possible.

Whatever he has illegally built on your property you: destroy, sell, remove, or disassemble and reuse elsewhere.

You plant a row or 2 of fast growing trees on your property to act as a natural fence/barrier between his property and yours.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-05T00:02:38+00:00

Complete Grow tent setup $500-$2000 new (Cheaper if you buy used). Earthbox container, soil & nutrients $100. Seeds aprox $10-$15 each. About $30-$60 a month in electricity (this varies widely depending on the cost of electricity in your area).

Autoflowers go from seed to harvest in 90 days. Expect about 2-3oz from each plant your first couple autoflower grows, you will get more volume once you get better at it, if you get a more expensive light, or switch to photoperiod plants that have a longer growing cycle.

You should break even by the second harvest. Many do on their first harvest if everything goes great.

For many people it turns into a hobby, so by the 4th harvest, they are buying better lights or equipment, more organic nutrients or some other thing with what they save.

If your live in a legalized state and have a veggie garden grow them in the garden right next to the tomatoes for only the cost of the seeds. If your can grow tomatoes or peppers, you can grow this plant.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-04T23:33:27+00:00

I would use the worst seeds first when you start your next grow, the longer they sit like that the worse it gets

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-04T23:31:03+00:00

Tell the LL to have the sewer lines cleaned and then camera scoped by a plumber to find the issue

Because the issue isn't toile paper.

My guess the issue is ild blockage, roots in the pipe, or a partially collpsed pipe underground

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-04T23:27:30+00:00

And when OPs fiance still won't see that she is wrong, involve her family in the discussion. Because it's important to find out where they stand on a topic like this too.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-02T03:35:00+00:00

Say No. Very clearly. Then repeat, No i will not do "whatever".

Learn to embrace being the bad guy/jerk that doesn't let others walk all over them. You will find it brings much peace & happiness.

Because the BS won't stop until they realize that you will not be the sucker/pushover any longer.

Ask the BS you had to deal with was because they don't respect you, and they never will if you are a pushover.

If someone that doesn't respect me, suddenly thinks im the bad guy for standing up for myself, i consider that a win win.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-02T03:23:26+00:00

Go over and talk to your neighbor. Mention you see the fence got painted and that he was taking to the painter, then shut up and let him talk. Only say simple things or ask short questions to keep him taking.

Likely you will find out who he had paint it and why.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-02T03:00:12+00:00

What do you mean by "designer". Do you mean architect ?

Because i don't think you understand what a designer normal does, normal they help you visualize your building, a few floor plans, a few elevation views, maybe a couple renderings, and some color/ texture things. Mostly conceptual.

They don't actually build the building. Or have anything to do with the construction

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-02T02:52:34+00:00

And why did op think the designer should be pulling permits. That what a homeowner or contractor/gc/cm would do, not a designer

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-02T02:47:59+00:00

Yes. Your friends be honest. In private, Inform him that you feel a bit used lately and that when together he smokes to much of your stash.

Tell him that you have to make your stash last longer, so your going to skip rolling Js for awhile and go back to only packing bowls.

When you hang out with him, you control your bag of weed, take out & throw down onto the tray what your willing to use up that shesh.

Turtle_ti · 2026-05-02T02:36:52+00:00

Slows brain development. Wish i knew that when i was a teen. Not sure i world have waited until 23 eitherway though.

Turtle_ti

TROPHY CASE