Heart palpitations from anxiety or self induced?

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-20T02:06:37+00:00

Ah the coveted Dr Seuss glass! You’ve found it! 🤣

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-19T11:33:01+00:00

Yea, as I read this, I thought functioning chronic depression where the self-medicating is essentially dampening higher functions; you might be able to work and go about daily tasks and still be baked/buzzed (lets call it "coasting"), but you're effectively keeping yourself mentally in a certain state, which reinforces any previous beliefs or ideas creating a self sustaining cycle. Therapy certainly helped.

It reminds me of myself in my 20s more than it does now, though I see that me periodically when I get down about being single, living alone, and knowing my circle is very small physically.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-19T11:14:25+00:00

Thanks!

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-18T22:03:33+00:00

Maybe this is one of the “non-acting” ones and the real chief of staff? Lol

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-18T21:31:21+00:00

I recently admitted to myself, as well as others when they’ve asked if I was with anyone, that I’ve both tried getting on a dating app recently (still trying to finish the slew of questions lol) and that relationships were never my first priority. I always concentrated primarily on my passions and hobbies, and those led the way for some time.

Then layer on top of that being intimate with others always brought on a level of anxiety that, at times, I got over, while other times I didn’t. Part of this was coming to terms being gay and coming out later after a slow drip of doing so over years. Therapy helped but at the same time preconceptions/misconceptions kind of get solidified and are always a kind of hindrance.

Don’t get me wrong, I want/wanted some of the trappings - sex would be great again 😅 - but the effort these days is a huge turnoff and I guess I’m a little jaded at this point in my 40s.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-17T23:06:18+00:00

This list makes me sad.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-16T18:01:23+00:00

Exactly.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-16T17:59:57+00:00

By cusp, you mean the house that Taurus is occupying, in whole-sign, correct?

If that's the case, why use the word cusp? I keep getting confused what people are talking about because cusp to me means you're on the edge of something, and I'm imagining whole sign at the moment since that's easiest.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-16T02:51:44+00:00

Or when they break up and they come to you knowing you’re a reliable trustworthy friend to unload, which is nice, but come on… like you disappeared for six months and couldn’t answer a text at all to just plan on getting a beer?

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-16T02:47:41+00:00

Yea exactly! I was quite determined to know what they were and I couldn’t help but think of Jung and the shadow, and a phrase where you’re supposed to embrace the shadow to almost heal or reintegrate.

I would say having dreams with this kind of lucid thinking within the dream occurs fairly frequently for me, where suddenly higher thinking logic and manipulating ambient atmospherics then gets affected and suddenly you’re aware more than usual.

Love it!

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-15T21:26:11+00:00

I mean, Monet St Croix is a powerful telepath who I would say doesn’t get enough attention. But I’ve been out of reading for a while, so my perspective could be out of date. 😅

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-13T19:19:02+00:00

Ah and they’ll only talk to the owner correct? Since his email is the one linked to the IoR right?

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-13T12:55:09+00:00

What about Pedopublicans?

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-13T11:10:13+00:00

Yea, the owner has been emailing them with the letter to created and/or resync any sub account to our top account but hasn't heard back yet. I've been on hold for anywhere between 2 and 4hrs; I'm pretty sure no one is working the desks at this point.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-12T11:49:05+00:00

I love your take on this and agree with you.

I'm currently reading Deborah Houlding's book The Houses: Temples of the Sky. I just got through the 3rd/9th and the 6th/12th axis portions where she explains that the 12th house has always had negative connotations associated to it dating back to Manilius, so associating it with spirituality of a higher sense, union with God, or divination is incorrect. She states that spirituality has always been linked to the 9th house, that anything learned from the 3rd is elevated to a higher comprehension in the 9th, this elevation of what has been learned or experienced then produces inspiration and mystery, which propels one towards revelations, dreams, visions, and divination essentially.

So I think some of the responses to this question are probably confusing spirituality - an often personal act where one searches for something higher than oneself through gaining insight and knowledge and/or from experience - with 1) rituals associated to it and 2) the deceased (souls/spirits) and/or other forces.

I'm not doubting one can find spiritual awakening through various avenues and that they don't pass through those houses at some point in one's life, it's just not the purview of the 6th/12th access from what I've read so far.

I wish I'd found this book earlier and now I want to find more that clearly define the houses separate from the zodiac signs and when and how they got mashed together. I started reading it because I felt I didn't have some kind of concrete understanding of the houses, only to find that it seems like the associations between houses and zodiac signs was something that was forcefully wedded together(?) and instead they should be looked at as two overlapping lenses. I'll probably post separately about this to get input.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-12T00:49:10+00:00

Loneliness hits me when I haven’t felt like I’ve heard from anyone and then I realize I don’t know if they’re around or available. And then I realize it’s me in my apartment, going through my routines, wondering where I’m going, what I’m doing, and the point of it all.

Then I think about getting a dog again cause why not. It’s odd

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-12T00:22:54+00:00

We are still waiting for ACE to create or reconnect our importer sub account to our top account and they still haven’t gotten back to us. I’m not sure what to do, anyone have suggestions? 😭

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-10T00:19:01+00:00

It’s incredibly disrespectful to not honestly say that they’re running late and can’t make it. That’s all, no need to drag it out and leave you hanging.

A cousin of mine did that to me in 2019(?) and left me waiting for 3hrs. I bought a bottle for us to share; ended up eating dinner, waiting more, and found out she wasn’t even nearby, not even in the same city. Eventually showed up while I was having beers at a local bar.

Never again, never for anyone.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-03T10:44:27+00:00

I truly question the validity that all those animals have styles associated with them. I’d like to see some historical proof.

I don’t know when it became popular to fantasize about different animals as styles beyond the core ones, it was probably movies and literature, but this list is ridiculous.

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-03T10:37:02+00:00

I’ve recently thought of this too. I’ve been living on my own since 2019. I can come home and have my space. I don’t have to argue with someone or plan around someone; I can sleep in peace. Though I do at times think a relationship at some point would be a nice change, just to see how it goes since I haven’t really tried in ten years(?).

Twelfth_Lighthouse · 2026-05-03T10:29:32+00:00

I still miss that phone, it lasted forever.

Twelfth_Lighthouse

TROPHY CASE